Food Advice
We have been sitting down to the dinner table to eat our meals lately. It has been a welcome change for DH and me; it’s like we get the socialization of going to a restaurant without having to go anywhere! Novel concept, I know.
SS5 has always been a picky eater, made worse by BM also being a picky eater. I am no paragon of nutrition, but man cannot live on mac & cheese alone – so the new rule is that SS has to try whatever I make.
At dinner, when DH and I are ready to leave the table, I pick out a small portion that SS has to finish before he can be done with dinner (we’re talking 2 bites, maybe). Since we started he has decided to sit and mope at the table for an hour or so, and then he eats it and is done.
Last night we had chicken, baked beans and potato salad. He ate the chicken and then I picked out a bite of beans and a pite of potato for him to try. He sat for 2 and a half full hours, and then shoved it in his mouth, chewed for a few times, and then made himself gag on it until there was a spit covered ball of beans on his plate. Granted, he might just not like baked beans or potato salad, and that’s fine. But he had never even tried them before he made his grand stand against them. The gagging thing he learned from his mother. Whenever anybody pressures her to try something new she’ll try it and then pretend to gag on it.
Here’s the question; after he has chewed it and spit it back on his plate I can’t make him eat it (shudder) but then I feel like he has won the standoff. Last night I said he could get up from dinner, but he wasn’t allowed any different food that night. He spent the rest of the night asking for cereal, crackers, and cookies and getting denied. Does anybody have any advice for how to get him to not pretend to gag on his food?
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Comments
This is a hard one for me
This is a hard one for me too. My BF's son is turning 15 this month and still lives on chicken nuggets when he is with us EOW. It is a lost cause for me
Do what made you shudder.
Do what made you shudder. Tell him that if he spits it up he can eat it again and if he refuses to eat the bites you put on his plate, they will be in the fridge waiting for him to finish at the next meal.
Then follow through.
This kid is not 18mos or 2yo. He is 5 and he will have to learn that what works for his BM will not work for him.
Rags! I usually love your
Rags! I usually love your advice, but this brings back memories of "Mommy Dearest"!!! Yikes! I wouldn't make him eat his regurgitated food, but I would certainly give him two new scoops of whatever he just spit out to eat again... I think that would be just as sufficient without the "Mommy Dearest" scenario!
I was my mother's worst nightmare when it came to food... I hated most vegetables, but was never given an option as far as eating them. Whatever was served for dinner, I ate whether I liked it or not. Now there was usually some drama from me, like shaking an ungodly amount of salt on my veggies so I couldn't taste them, or swallowing my veggies like pills with my milk.
I can say that paybacks are a bitch! My almost one year old has been a little fuss budget about eating for the past 2 months and he is driving me insane!!!
I just re-read my response
I just re-read my response above. You are right. A new serving of the rejected food is a much better way to go.
Kinda gross when I re-read what I said. Ooops! :O
I had a period while growing up where squash was my nemisis. But, we ate what was served and I managed to choke it down for many years.
Now I actually like it. It is still not my favorite but not revolting to me like it was when I was a kid.
Just down get me started on the metal clothes hangers!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best regards,
I think no more than 30-45
I think no more than 30-45 minutes is needed to finish dinner. If they choose to not eat what is on their plate in that amount of time, then dinner is over. There should be nothing given after that point. Unless dinner is early, say at 5 or 6. Then tell them they can have a snack in 2 hrs (little ones often need to eat every couple hours normally) before bedtime. If they come ask for something else before then and can't wait, then it's immediately bed time.
Why must kids battle with
Why must kids battle with food all the time? I feel your pain, completely! My skids TRY to use the gag, or the "my tummy hurts", or spitting it back on their plates too...all learned from BM.
I don't really had much advice because sometimes what we do works and sometimes it doesn't. But we're pretty hard on them and I think even though you may not want to make them eat their spit-up food, make him do it if there's nothing else left on the plate. Otherwise just give them a new bite/portion. Think of the spit-up food as just baby food...might help you to stomach it!
As it stands right now, you're right -- SS is winning the food battle by spitting it up adn therefore, not having to eat it. Of course he won't stop.
We have also started a timer. SS3 has absolutely no sense of urgency and will sit at the table for up to 1.5 hours with cold food, but not even because he doesn't like it. He just dawdles...so we give him half hour and whatever's still on the plate he doesn't get to eat. It might sound mean, but the two times he did that (with pizza, and one time with another favorite dish of his) he was mad that he didn't get to finish and hasn't done it in awhile. We make sure we give him a 10 minute warning and a 5 minute warning.
I only ask my kids to try
I only ask my kids to try something. if they didn't like it, I would never make them eat it. however, I did give them a choice though. they had to have a veggie at every meal. they had to pick the 2 best veggies that they would eat out of all the ones I served. which came odwn to corn, green beans and carrots. after that they gave no problems on what to eat.
SS10 used to do this to me.
SS10 used to do this to me. We started telling him that his Father made the food and all of a sudden it stopped. I know it sounds ridiculous but it worked. He was also a picky eater but if Dad made it and Dad was eating it, it was fine.