Step Talk has really given me alot to think about. It has shown me that I am not alone and there are many of us out here struggling for answers. In reading others posts and taking things that our Counselor has told me in the past this is what I have decided is important for my life, my marriage, my children and my step daughter. Maybe this will help someone who has been grasping for sanity and peace as I have been.

I must manage my ten acres.......

When I make this statement ultimately how I choose to let things touch my life is mine to own. I feel like somehow in the struggles of dealing with BM being so high maintenance and clueless and demanding. DH not putting his foot down with BM or SD. And SD being so spoiled, rude and damaging with her words I have lost myself. I am one of those fix-it people...You know the kind that can overcome and fix all the worlds problems and evils with love. Laughing.....it hasnt worked here! I have become so torn up, so frustrated and just flat out angry sometimes that I am not who I used to be.

The me that I am happy with is loving, compasionate and artistic. I feel that my greatest role in this life is to raise my children to be whole, well rounded and self sufficent adults. Understanding that passion for life and being true to ones heart and self is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.

So......This is what I told me DH

I apologized first for letting all of this get the best of me. I expressed how hard it was for me being a wife and parent in a home where I felt like it was not a sharred effort. I told him that being a parent and moral role model has always been at the top of my priorities. Having to understand that SD has two parents in her life that are active in raising and I am not one of them. They are raising her as they see fit and I have to step back and let the outcome be what it will be. Now having said this I also set the boundaries for what I will endure with behavior in our home. I have always been a parent to mine that has set boundaries and adhere to them. I also have young neices and nephews and they respect my home or I correct them he sees this, so SD will do the same. When puberty comes I will be there but I will not bear the burden for correcting what they have created. I will give him suggestions only when asked and that is all. My hope is that by my actions and my life this child will take some positves to carry on into adulthood. With the BM...I told him that she no longer would dictate to me my time, my mood or my plans by here actions. If he and I had plans I would not cancell them because BM needed us,if I need to I will continue on with them alone. I will not tolerate being treated with shortness by him when she has made him angry or frustrated. Ultimately it falls on his shoulders if he chooses to allow her that power. I will enjoy being me and loving him.

With having this conversation and getting back into my art and light hearted spirit I already feel as if a weight has been lifted off my chest.