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Hello Everyone!!

Brooklynne's picture

I've been on here a while lurking, but I've never really had the guts to just introduce myself and say hello. I've been with my BF for almost 4 years now, and we've been living together for 2. He has one son who is just the greatest kid. We have a great relationship. It took a while at first for us to find some common ground with one another, but now we get along beautifully. He has his moments like all children, but those are few and far between. He's well behaved, makes good grades in school, stays out of trouble, and I really couldn't ask for more.

BM, on the other hand, wishes that I would just drop off the face of the earth. It took her almost 3 years to even acknowledge that I existed. There was a lot of drama from her in the beginning of BF and I's relationship, but even that has quieted down in the last year. BM and I aren't ever going to be friends, but I want to have a civil relationship with her for the sake of SS. I'll take whatever cooperation from her that I can get. She and I have even managed to have a civil conversation here and there lately. I've wondered if this calm hiatus is for real or if she is planning on jerking the rug out from under us!

I don't have any friends in my daily life that are stepparents, so it's hard for them to understand my point of view at times if I need to vent about steplife. I'm here to meet people who truly understand about living in a step situation so I don't drive my mom and friends crazy with the drama that seems to follow BM and ultimately affect SS! Hello to everyone, and I can't wait to start getting to know you guys better!

-Brooklynne

Comments

sarahbernheart's picture

you have come to the right place we DO understand.
as we say here, beware of the ides of bms..sorry Shakespear.
i dont have a terrible relationship with my FH (future husband) ex. she did try in the beginning to stir up stuff but she for the most part stays to herself..however when you think that all is quiet on the western front......
welcome you are among friends.

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Brooklynne's picture

I'm like you. My relationship with the ex isn't terrible....at the moment. Lately she has been cordial and easy to get along with (for her). It's just crazy because I can't even enjoy it! I'm too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop!

Colorado Girl's picture

I know the feeling...after so much turmoil, we almost become paranoid. Wondering in the back of our minds what exactly the intent of her good behvior is???

Like the calm before the storm.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Brooklynne's picture

Since her craziness has outweighed the good times, I wonder what her intentions are. Maybe she's on an upswing? I have come to the point where I just have to distance myself from her antics. Easier said than done though.

now4teens's picture

I would just caution you to stay on alert with regard to BM. If she, in your words, "wishes that I would just drop off the face of the earth," and, "it took almost 3 years to even acknowledge that I existed," then you are clearly dealing with someone who MAY not be dealing with a full deck.

Perhaps over the years, she has come to terms that you will be a permanent fixture in both her ex's and her son's lives. But the odds are, she's going to cause trouble somewhere down the road.

But I'll keep my finger's crossed for you. Wink

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

Brooklynne's picture

You are right about her not playing with a full deck. I could go on and on about all she's done that I just sit back and shake my head at. At first, everything she did would get my back up and I would spend all my time contemplating what she would do next. Now, I fire up the margarita machine, sit back, and laugh! (Better than crying right?) It's much less stressful that way!

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

You sound so calm, so reasonable. I'm happy things are sailing smoothly for you right now. If it gets rocky, yell! The support on this forum is incredible!

And beware. You know what the abbreviation BM stands for in the medical field? It's no coincidence! Wink

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

This a great place to vent and getting things off your chest. I'd be lost without it.

I don't know what advise to give you. BM and I don't get along at all. She hates my guts, not because I have done anything to her just because I'm with BF.
I can only go by my past experiences with BM and everytime she seems to be getting better as in nicer it was always for a reason, weather it was an extra weekend with the skids or for more money.
The only thing I can recommend is just to always be on guard and never trust her completely, it's sad that we have to think like that but it's better than getting burnt.

Good Luck hun, we are all here to listen and help.

SerendipitySM's picture

Welcome Brooklynne - we are a fantastic little family here!!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Catch22's picture

Well howdy stranger Wink Hopefully once you get to vent, at least you will feel better...she'll still be crazy but she won't fast track you there with her Smile

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

Brooklynne's picture

It's good to see you!!