Absolutely put it out in a will and give a copy to a trusted individual or two. It's simple really. You could even handwrite one so long as you and witnesses sign it before a notary (easy to find -- even insurance agents offices or maybe the bank).

It should put your mind to ease and take stress off your marriage. She doesn't even need to know.

I understand. I always thought that I'd devide the jewelry my husband has given me over the years between BD and SD because I've always treated them equally, but the way SD has treated me in the past 6 years (even though its because of alienation by BM), I wouldn't give her a thing at the moment. I've considered putting that in a will but haven't yet. She'd hock whatever she'd get. I think DH knows that and I've told him that she'd never appreciate it, but I've never said I want to make it official until she straightens up.

Absolutely, skids have no rights to anything of yours even if the state settled your estate. Without a will it goes to next of kin. If that's the wife, she'd deside from there. If you don't want her deciding, then a will is the way to make sure it goes to whomever you want. I believe that you could even stipulate that it all goes to your wife and then in the even of her death, it goes to "soandso". Now, you'd have to trust that she'd do that though.

Check it out on line. Google things like "blended/step family wills" etc. It helps to have advice specific to our situations.

Okay, if you die, your wife gets everything. No problem. The problem is that if she then dies or if you die together, you don't want your stepson to get anything. Forgive me, but who cares? You can't take it with you and you can't spend it if you are dead, so who cares if he gets it or not? Is it that you have someone else that you would want your estate to go to in lieu of your stepson or is it that you just want to disinherit him for whatever reason? If that's the case, get a will and make sure you specifically disinherit your stepson in the will. There should be one specific statement in the will that says, "I hereby disinherit my wife's son, _____." But here's the catch, if you die first and your wife gets your property, there is NOTHING to prevent her from willing that property to her son upon HER death, unless you set up a trust that will allow her to live off of your estate until her death. That way, she does not inherit your estate, she just inherits the right to live off of your estate. Upon her death, your estate could then be distributed per your wishes.

Your handle is DontWant2bStepF... honey, you should've thought of that before you married this woman. You say you are married REGRETFULLY, you say that it would be UNFORTUNATE if your wife outlives you and you don't want your wife's son to be a part of your family. It doesn't sound like you have much of a marriage or family to me and, frankly, if it were my husband talking like you do, I'd dump his ass, money or no.

~ Anne ~

he can't set it up that way with right of survivorship. Once title is transfered to her upon his death its hers to do as she wishes. He could do that only if home was bought before the marriage and only if his name is on it. As for jewelry, and posessions that becomes very tricky. I worked for an estate attorney and you can have it all in writing but in reality its difficult and doesn't always work because families get their hands on things and deny. Family heirlooms should probably be put in a safety box with another as joint owner in case of an emergency/death, so to avoid those kinds of realities.

My dh & I married when most of the sk were older & we were both established, also both had elderly parents with sizable estates. So via wills & legal documents, we have determined who inherits what depending on who dies 1st, etc. But the important thing is we gathered all the kids for a meeting and "read" the wills to them. We explained why & what we were doing, also recently dh took the opportunity to discuss with his adult sk what his medical wishes were (no vent, heroic measures, etc) & that I was POA/MPOA (power of attorney/Medical power of attorney). Hopefully this will prevent problems down the road. But again, we were proactive & discussed this as well as put it in writing. I advise seeking the counsel of an estate attorney. But is her son is the only survivor between the 2 of you...he could/would probably get the $$ if you didn't protect yourself.

I had my husband sign a prenup in case we divorce.
I had my attorney draw up a living trust & will in case I die & my children are on alllllllll the documents (and vice versa).

My stepchildren will only get what their father leaves them (of what money HE made, not my money) and my kids will get what I leave them from money I earned.

Second marriages are interesting.

In your will you can state that your wife receives certain things. You will have to check the laws in your state/province/wherever you live.

I live in Ontario, Canada. If you are legally married the other spouse will get the matrimonial home if you die first. They are also entitled to the first $200,000 in your estate(remember, this is where I live). If you don't wish for everything else to go to your wife, name someone else as beneficiary for whatever you wish them to have out of your estate.

You have absolutely no say on what your wife does with the proceeds of your estate that she receives after your death. Chances are, she will leave it to her child, as most of us would.

But check into what your laws are where you live.

My hubby and I have decided that my 3 kids and his 2 will all get equal shares when we "both" die, regardless of who goes first. With that being said, we both started from scratch to get where we are now and both stuggle to keep our heads afloat. But each person has their own reasons for certain choices in life. We don't know your history other than what you have briefly told us and I don't feel its fair to judge. Everything is learned through trial and error!

Being a step-parent is a hell of a ride. Just be thankful you haven't had to encounter some of the problems others, such as myself have had to deal with having step children and dealing with their ex's on a daily/wkly basis.

Corie

You need to get to an attorney immediately and get the paper work done. Depending on the state some of the estate would go to her, but you can also designate who you want to have what.

You should not give the property to your wife. You should have the will state that she is allowed to stay in the home until she dies and then the house should be sold and given to ... whatever you want the proceeds to go to whether it be other family members or a charity. You do not have to will your home (if it is pre-marital) to your wife. If it is marital, state in your will where you want your 50% of the proceeds to go upon her death.

going to my children when I go. I can take care of myself if he is gone so I don't care where his goes.

I am in the same boat. I have picked a local attorney from the yellow pages who says you can get a living will etc. for $3-500, and gives you a worksheet to decide what you want to do, and your spouse a separate one.

My DH will not say what he will do so I am making my own plans since all the property is mine anyway at this point. Neither SD nor his family (other than his parents) are in my plans. }:)
_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

there is a type of will you can do called "life estate"
where property is willed to a person ( your wife in this case) for her life and after she passes away, all money will go to whoever you designate it to go, so her son will not inheirit it.

You will definiately need an attorney to set that up !!!

Nothing you can do. When you die and she gets it, she can do what she wants with it. Sorry!! Talk to a lawyer, but I am pretty sure about that.

I think that you should discuss it with a lawyer. It's called a life estate and where I live in canada it is still legally recognized. You can leave your property to her while she lives and then when she passes it goes to whoever you leave it to. In the past when property was passed on to the oldest son, the mother would get a place to live and some property but it could not be bequeathed by her as they didn't want property to be split up.