I really didn't. Until I found this forum, and wonderful women I could actually talk to about what's been my life since I married H 5 months ago. I've felt myself sliding into depression-and felt my nerves strung so tight everytime SD17 came over. But just didn't really realize how bad it has become, so quickly.

When H & I married I was working fulltime at a bank-that's what I've done for the last 15 years-worked, raised my son, struggled financially, but always had purpose, always managed to get by, and feel pretty good about myself.

No more. Quit work at H's request...he works so far away, in another state-how he had me convinced it was for the good of our marriage for me to be home. Then, 2 weeks after we married, he was going to move his D (13) in with me. Without even discussing it with me-we dated for years, we planned getting married for months-not one time was this brought up. But he and the BM sure discussed it-planned it all, behind my back, like I have no rights, do not exist. The girls live with their mother, 30 minutes from here. He works 4 hours from here. Home is between his work and BM's home. When I refused, I told him I had just finished raising my son alone, and wasn't going to raise his daughter alone. I told him that if he wanted his daughters, either on or both of them, to live with us, we would move to the state he works in and all live together. His response? He would get an apartment for himself and SD 13. Not for him, me and SD13. Just him & his daughter. He didn't-but only because it would have cost him $1,000/mo to rent the two of them an apartment.

And it's been a steady downhill freefall over the 5 months. Watching him cater to SD17. Watch her come into my home and act as tho it is hers, and I am there to serve her. Watch her get in the back seat of my jeep when we are all going somewhere, reach up front and set the airconditoner to what she wants, put the CD she want to listen to in the player. And he lets her. Him telling her she can take my dog with her when she goes to visit him. My dog. Not our dog. He has a dog-she doesn't like his dog. She likes mine. Him refusing to do anything to fix the place up-it's an old house, belongs to my parents, we pay no rent. He makes over 80k/yr. When we decided to get married, we talked over what we were going to do to fix the place up, to improve it. We owe my parents that much for living here. But other than buying furniture (he took my old furniture to his apartment), and painting two rooms,(one for his daughter to sleep in) he has done nothing here. And right now, he's home 3 1/2 days a week. He sleeps. Watches TV. Plays cards. Has his daughters over. That's it. He doesn't mow, take out the trash, wash the car, cook a meal (unless it is a special request by SD17, of course), won't even pick up his own plate after eating and take it to the kitchen. I have to justify the $99.00-$120.00 grocery bill a week to him. I don't eat out. He eats here half of the week. That includes all the cleaning supplies, pet food, etc. Yet when his daughter 17 yr old daughter comes to visit he can spend $117.00 one day buying the special food she wants, cook it, and then spend $77.00 the next day on a game she want.

This is the man who cooked for me when we were dating. Brought me little gifts during the week-a candle, a Cd, just thoughtful things. This is the man who took me on fun trips-just to get away for the weekend. And pleaded and begged me to take him back when I broke it off once. Couldn't be happy in life without me, he said.

Wow. If I'd only known he considered a wife to be a piece of garbage before I married him.