No Joke - 8yo SD wants a training bra.
We had our big 'expectations' talk tonight, (where we laid down the law,) and it went ... REALLY well. (So thank god, right?)
But as it's winding down the BM starts discussing problems in behavior she is perceiving with the SD. The child wants a training bra. She's eight. She wears BEBE tops, and has a mother that believes in 'letting her make her own choices.' I think mom is starting to see that this approach is causing much harm- as she wants us to try to handle this situation as best as possible.
A training bra. Really. (Because, sadly- her friends parents do allow her to have one.) -And my attempt at stating she needed new friends didn't go over really well, so now- I get to hear more of an eight year old attempts at wanting something she has NO NEED FOR. (She's in the third-freaking-grade.) This is what letting your child wear provocative clothing and playing with Bratz and other atrocious things does.
(I'm a women's studies major- and probably this kid's worst nightmare.) Very, very bad. Have any of you gone through this? HELP.
(I had to post this.)
A response I got from a girlfriend, (what does she need a training bra for... clear plastic heels?)
...Btw- she's a very, very skinny 8 year old- no signs of puberty.
what's she saving the thong
what's she saving the thong request for starting 6th grade? I know, it's really not funny at all, it's sad when kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore.
I haven't been through this (thankfully SD is a tomboy still at 14) but I just wanted to back you up. I have a lot of concerns for a society that fosters generations of "disney princess" into barbie/bratz into Brittany Spears. I wish more parents, like you, focused on their girls valuing themselves and exploring who they are on the inside as opposed to what they can do on the outside.
have you read reviving ophelia? It's a great book about raising girls in consumer culture....
from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.
its just a thing
Kids want stuff that make them seem older, stuff their friends have etc. My sd's both had their mom get them training bras when they were 7 and 9. They wore them for a week cause it was the "new thing" and they really don't anymore. It was more about wanting "something" than trying to be older or thinking they even needed the silly things.
Treat it as a piece of clothing. Does she need more socks? If so, buy em. But at 8 she doesn't "need" a training bra. We have 4 girls at home and are using this logic now when they're young to hopefully starve off the upcoming "gimmie-I-wannas" as they get older.
Let her have it...
I don't know about you but I hate wearing bra's, they are kind of uncomfortable and it is much better after I take it off.
I say that if she wants one so bad let her have one. Soon she will see that they aren't all they are cracked up to be. She has nothing to fill it, no one can see it, so she will soon think that what is the point and why was I so hell bent on getting one? So all too soon the newness will wear off. Because all it will be to her is another layer. I personally don't think that training bras are all that attractive to look at and who would really want to see it? If she does like it and continues to wear it then when she finally does start to develope she will already be wearing one. I know when I first started having to wear one I didn't like it, and half the time I didn't want to wear it. I sometimes see little girls even as young as 10 (which is when I started wearing one also) that probably should be wearing one. Athough she is pretty young to be thinking of this, maybe it is a blessing in disguise, it may be a lesson worth learning for her. Although she may be the type of girl that lets the lesson go right over her head. I hope that helped, and put a different perspective on it.
Reality is always controlled by the people who are most insane.
~Dogbert
I love the idea-
Of letting the kiddo wear an uncomfortable bra- but this is the same kid who would sleep in uncomfortable rollers just to look pretty the next day. She has no problem sacrificing herself to fit in- and that's what worries me.
It's not like she's a little overweight, or that she is beginning to develop. BM doesn't even need to wear a bra at 32. If she takes after her mom, it won't be an issue until the changing rooms.
(The issue is- I know the bra is going to lead to shaving her legs- as some of her friends do.. (at eight... ridiculous,) and she'll want to fit in more.)
I think it's disgusting and sad.
Thongs and things
BM bought SD13 a training bra when she was 7. BM bought SD10 a training bra when she was 9. Granted, they needed it. BUT....
BM bought SD13 3 pairs of thongs from Aeropostale AND a "teddy" night gown. Then she wants to complain when SD13 wants to make decision for herself like an adult. UGH!
Thongs and things
BM bought SD13 a training bra when she was 7. BM bought SD10 a training bra when she was 9. Granted, they needed it. BUT....
BM bought SD13 3 pairs of thongs from Aeropostale AND a "teddy" night gown. Then she wants to complain when SD13 wants to make decision for herself like an adult. UGH!
Thongs and things
BM bought SD13 a training bra when she was 7. BM bought SD10 a training bra when she was 9. Granted, they needed it. BUT....
BM bought SD13 3 pairs of thongs from Aeropostale AND a "teddy" night gown. Then she wants to complain when SD13 wants to make decision for herself like an adult. UGH!
That is too young.
That is too young. I can see if it's the cute little girls matchy sets. You know Bratz, Hannah Montana, Tinker Bell and the such. Anything outside of that would be too much and too soon.
When will people learn that kids grow up fast enough as it is. Let them be kids and set appropriate age limits for things such as bras, cell phones, shaving, dating and the likes. When will these people learn, maybe after the kid comes home and says Ma, guess what, you're gonna be a grandma and then they will wish that they had allowed them to stay younger longer. I can't help but think of the old adage "In due season." Everything has a time and season.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
OMG
Crayon you crack me up!!! I say postpone the bra for a while, so it doesn't encourage more requests!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
oh god...
Bratz... (*eww.)
well
My BD8 has a training bra. She normally just wears it to bed and not under her clothes. I like it cause shes not running around topless...its more like a sports bra though than a lacy little thing. By the way she also has tons of Bratz and Bratz clothes
so shoot me!
offer
I would offer her a sports bra. You know the kind with not real "cups" and they kind of look like a small tank top. I agree those little sets that are the sports bra and undies are cute. My BD7 wanted a bra so I got her one of those sets and the novelty wore off pretty quick.
8yr old SD Bra
Well _ I dunno whose situation is worse. My SD is 8yrs and 3rd grade also .....The girl has a bra and needs it. Scary! She has passed me up this year in all sizes, I have a shoes size 5 and I bought her shoes at payless last week - had to get a 7W in women's. Last year we could share clothes but this year she is too big to fit mine. I feel bad for her because I am tiny (size 6) but she and her Mom (the ex) are BIG (ex about a 14). My hubby is worried about her size and her being self conscious...I do not think me being so tiny helps because she asks why she is not shaped like me and if she will be big like her Mom. Poor baby
With as early as some kids
With as early as some kids today start puberty a training bra for an 8yo is not beyond the bounds of reasonableness depending on the kid's chest.
Now, victorias secret/thongs/etc... for an 8yo is something else entirely.