I would find someone else. My SD was only 8 when we married, and no way I would have been willing to wait 10 years to have kids of my own. My husband told me while we were dating that he wanted me to treat her like she was my own. Ha! That was OK as long as I only did fun stuff, but as soon as I started correcting her behavior it wasn't OK. Stepparenting is nearly impossible. I've heard a few success stories but MANY more dismal failures, of which I am one.
My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. I am so excited picking out rings and picturing my life with the man that I love. HOWEVER, he has three children (after 10 months,ex will not allow me to meet them)....He shocked me this weekend by saying..that "the children and her will always be his family". He envisions me coming along to holidays with her....so his children can have both parents there. He is in med-school and lives four hours away from his children. Because he is a student, and broke...he stays at her house every other weekend. I have had difficulty with this since the beginning of our relationship...each time he goes my stomach stays in knots the entire weekend. He assures me that they have a strictly platonic relationship (and she says the same).....and that I am being unreasonable, because this is the only way to see his children. My ex-husband and I are civil, but we are not friends. This seems to be a theme for my not understanding his relationship with his ex. Your response is appreciated, I know what my friends and family think....sadly I am blind with love..and maybe an outsiders objective opinion is what I need. Thanks
But I have to say that being a step-parent, step-wife, step-daughter in law, step "whatever" is by far THE toughest thing I have ever done in my life. I'm in the same boat as Fearless and I live in the shadows of the ex wife. She still has the sympathy and pity of his family "for the sake of the children" and I am an insignificant piece of lint that their son/brother just happened to pick up. I have moments of panic, resentment, sadness, hopelessness and lonliness. I never, ever feel that I belong. I've sunk so low at times that I miss my "old ex-family"....my ex husbands family loved me, welcomed me, hugged me when they saw me and here's a good one...they EVEN remembered my name when they called our house!!! I live every day, looking at my step children, helping them with homework, taking care of them when they are sick, being their friend and care-taker in every sense of the word yet dealing with the heart break when I go to a sports function or a dance recital and, just because Mom is there and she hates me, they won't even look at me, say hello or good-bye. It hurts really, really bad.
Think very long and very hard about what you are considering. It is a long, tough journey and while I have many, many "good days", I have alot of bad days too. Days that I just want to give up out of desperation in finding an answer.......
The most important thing I've learned? If your man doesn't have a set of balls on him and is not willing to defend you to HER, his family and most importantly, his kids, then DON'T DO IT!!! This is not something you can do alone. You need his support or you will spend every day angry with him and in turn, it will affect your relationship.
In my opinion (and for what it's worth) the fact that he spends the week-end at her place shows nothing but disrespect toward you. I understand he wants to see his kids but he can't afford a hotel (even a cheap one?) and why is it, that after 10 months you haven't met the children? I think it's time that you started going on his week-ends and figure out why it is that she won't "let you" meet the kids? Put your foot down now and demand the respect that you deserve. If he is not willing to give it, then move on and cut your losses. Life is waaaay too short to spend it feeling like crap and playing second best.
My husband has terrific qualities but the hell in the first years with step kids, in hind sight, was not worth it. We do have a good life now but wow it took a toll. Wouldn't do it again...
Sappy yes, but he is so worth it, and I love my ss. I do have to say that I came into this situation with expectations that two adult(keyword), women could be civil to each other. I had previously dated a guy who had a daughter, she was a brat from hell, but bm was never a problem, we were actually friends. I tried the same approach with ss bm from the beginning. I was very friendly, well she made the mistake of taking my civility for fear. She decided to follow me and dh around a store one day, BIG MISTAKE. I dealt with it longer than I normally would have, but finally went off on her. She left the store, so I guess she got the point;) After that dh and I handled things with a business approach. Which was fine and good til, I was telling her something about SS's presentation on an essay he did, and crazy loon thanked me for going to his event, and HUGGED ME. That totally freaked me out, I felt so violated...I wanted to go home and shower with alcohol. I did actually go home and take a shower, *shudder*. Keep in mind this same BM takes what I like to call a "vacation from reality" about once every three months. When someone who you know hates you, hugs you, it really does make you paranoid. I was looking up at the rooftops for a sniper afterwards...lmao. I won't lie, I will be so glad when ss turns 18, and we can move the 750 miles south, to my hometown.
Other than dealing with recent child support issues, my experience as a second wife overall has been positive. Part of the reason for that is that my DH is an incredible step-dad. He has been parenting my BS for nine years now (since my son was 3) and I know that my son is a better kid for it. My ex husband lives over a thousand miles away, and though he is as good a dad as he can be from there, it's nothing compared to the sacrifices my DH makes to really be a dad. My SD comes every other weekend, and though we love her my DH and I are both aware that he's not really raising her. I'm so lucky because DH is a very rational, mature man who can see things for what they are and accept them. I still wish his ex would fall off the face of the earth and that the SD would come live with us, but all in all I still feel I made a wise decision.
Of course, that answer has changed practically on a minute-by-minute basis over the course of our six-year marriage! But seriously, I have no regrets. I think I am where I am supposed to be and going where I'm supposed to be going with the person I'm supposed to be travelling through this life with. I've had periods when I didn't think it was worth it, but in the end, he's still the man I want to grow old with. When it gets bad, I always ask myself if he's still the one I want with me when I die and, so far, that answer has always been a resounding YES.
I like that Anne. I like how you think sometimes. Something funny I'd like to share... Way off topic. But you and I must look alike, at least if that picture is really you. My daughter always asked "who's that", when she sees pictures of people and animals she doesn't know. She says "that's momma" when she sees yours. Thought I would share.
and it always comes back to the whole reason I am here in the first place is to be with my husband, I do love him. I don't know what to do about the his kids. I hope in the end I can say it was all worth it. I hope I make it there.
I love my Dh very much, but I did not realize just how hard this whole blended family stuff was going to be. No amount of reading can prepare you. There are days when I just feel empty inside and sick in the pit of my stomach. Even the smallest things that would not even be an issue in a traditional family can become as volatile as a nuclear bomb.
Sometimes I wish that I would of held off with moving in together and getting married. There are other days when I am very satisfied and happy. I do know that I could not imagine life without him. It is every other facet, from s-kids to ex's and in-laws, and everything else in between that goes along with it that wears on me and that I often wish that I could run screaming from.
No matter how great of relationship you have there will always be areas of discomfort and times that you feel absolutely disconnected. At least this is what my experience is.
Family loyalties run deep and end up becoming a dividing line even in the most dedicated couple.
*sigh*
I guess this is a really wishy-washy sort of answer, but my feelings are so confused it makes it tough. Sometimes I just want to run away and other days I wouldn't leave for the world.
But I can say if I were ever faced with this sort of thing again- bite my tongue. I would not jump into it with both feet. In fact, I would probably not jump at all.
Georgie
No probably not, I was previously engaged to a wonderful man who was deeply in love with me and who was very wealthy, but I did not love him, so we broke it off, and the man before that I was totally in love with but it was just not the right time, and now back to my husband who when I met him we just figured we had a good time together and enjoyed eachothers company, we did not know many years later we would still be together married with a child..... and his other child and all the excessive baggage, sometimes I wish I kept fishing in the ocean.
Yes, I would. I love my husband. I would've however detached from his ss much much sooner instead of trying to fix an unfixable situation. I suppose I had to go through a lot to give up on that situation to really have come to a point where I feel at peace with my decision to separate myself from that fraction of my Dh's life. We have a great couples counselor that has allowed both Dh and myself see that ss is abusive and that I shouldn't have to be a part of the dysfunction and abuse of the situation. Since we don't have custody, just 4 days/month, it really isn't hard for me now that I've allowed myself the freedom to be happy, and not feel guilty.
Suburban Mama, I just had a "lights on!" after reading your reply. I have been a Step for 20 years. My SS has never liked, wanted or accepted my presence in his life.. Despite great effort and long suffering on my part to try to get close to him.
He is married to the SDIL from "Heck" who just drove the last nail in the coffin a few days ago (my blog)
I did not realize that it was an option to just walk away. I have been at the end of my rope for ages with this guy, but have kept trying anyhow for my husband's sake. To keep the illusion of family going for him I guess. Poor guy. He's really the one losing out here. But I have given it everything and been creative, I even agreed to design/pay for their wedding decorations and assemble the flowers etc for a peace offering (Floral Designer) which seemed to help all of a few months.
The only thing now that I hate to think about is that if their marriage survives the drama, they will eventually have children which I am positive will be used/kept from us to hurt us. I doubt I will be able to associate with them. So ends the light bulb moment. But it was good while it lasted!!Ha!
until the skids were 18 or older to get married or move in. They are now 16 and 17 and while DH knows his kids are PITA he used to say hang in there... they will move out when they turn 18. Well just as my therapist said.. these kids are not moving out.. they are not equipped. DH just last week said.. They do not have to move out when they turn 18. HUH??? I said well here is the deal, if they are just as disrespectful and slobbering as they are now.. they move or I will --- not a veiled threat.. its the time that I have given myself and this experiment. As I sit in the back seat, my happiness has been on hold. Yes things have gotten better with the skids (loong way to go, but improvements noted).. its DH's enabling that drives me nuts... he even has managed to wreck a good dog with his passive discipline (lack of) .
I would most definitely do this again with some changes. I wouldn't have waited so long to voice my very loud opinions about the way he disciplined SD11 and I would have put the KABOSH on his family sooner. My husband is one the most wonderful men in the world. He loves me unconditionally and thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world (even when I don't feel that way). He gives me a look that tells me how much he loves me, how beautiful I am and what a catch he thinks he has....yes one look tells me all of that. He has a great sense of humor and we share a common interest in almost everything. I would have to say absolutely I would marry him again....with slight changes to the situation.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
because, based on my experience, it is easier to walk away from love (and easier to find new love as well), when a child is not involved.
If I had previous experience of step-parenting difficulties, I definitely would not have had a biological child so soon.
On a more positive note, I do have to say that I am enjoying my marraige to almost 99% ever since I stopped indulging in 'GUILTY step-parenting' and began to be assertive, self-protecting and unreasonable as all parties involved. The trick is to do exactly what makes you happy and ignore what everyone else thinks, believe me this makes you a happier and mentally healthier parent and partner in the end, because as you are not pretending, all (including your partner) will learn to either deal with it... or F..K off.
I guess it depends on how badly you want to be with your partner, as that generally determines how much crap you are willing to take.
In my husband, I have found my soulmate, but he knows that our relationship can only endure for as long as I am number 1 in his life and we are the tag team that will steer the course that OUR family will take(SKs, BKs or Any kids that are in my home)
Your dh sounds a lot like mine! I wouldn't trade DH for anything... I don't regret a thing... We've been through a lot, and I know that there is much more in store... BB trying to break us up... BB accusing us of child abuse.... The drama never ends!
BUT....
We have learned and grown closer and stronger.... BB's antics had the opposit affect of what she was seeking. Theres not much that we couldn't get through together.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda
I don't have the ENERGY to EVER get married again. This marriage took it's toll on me, by God! My husband thinks I'm a VERY STRONG PERSON.....Bull, Does a strong person have to be on anti-depressants every day??? Not in my book. So, this marraige is and will be THE LAST ONE I EVER GET INTO,NOTHING will ever make me marry again,I'm looking for peace and contentment now,not romance and love. Did that,AND over it!!
I love DH more than anything in this world, but on the 1st and 3rd weekends of the month I just wish I had never met him. We would have an absolutly perfect relationship if they didn't exist. If we ever divorced and I met somebody else with kids I would run so fast the other way his head would spin. What makes it worse is that the kids were accidents when he was in high school, so I look at it as they were never wanted anyway, everybody looks at them as mistakes, like it's something we're obligated to on those weekends, which I know is so totally wrong, I know it's not their fault their parents were stupid, lord I'm a terrible human being.
I love my husband but sometimes love just isn't enough. I'm contemplating ending this hell. Maybe it is me being selfish but I'm so sick of this. Life was better single and if I ever get lonely again, I shall remember this hell is way worse than a lonely hell.
I have to say that I would not have waited and I would not have given up. I love my husband more than anything. I also love his son. It was definately hard to become an instant mother. My life changed sooo much. And I really never thought it would be as hard as it was. (I'm sure most of you felt the same way.) I didn't know what was in store for me. But now we've gotten to the point that my stepson loves me. He really cares for me and my entire family. When I met him, he didn't listen to anyone. I questioned taking him out into public. But the more I worked with him and stuck to my rules, he got better and better. Now he's wonderful for me. He behaves better for me than either his BM or BF. He listens to anything I say and does as I ask. He's a great child and he tells me he loves me and it makes it all worth it. And just so you understand, my SS has not even told his BM or BF that he loves them in over a year. But for some reason.. I'm the lucky one
No way
I would find someone else. My SD was only 8 when we married, and no way I would have been willing to wait 10 years to have kids of my own. My husband told me while we were dating that he wanted me to treat her like she was my own. Ha! That was OK as long as I only did fun stuff, but as soon as I started correcting her behavior it wasn't OK. Stepparenting is nearly impossible. I've heard a few success stories but MANY more dismal failures, of which I am one.
Need advise on "cordial" ex wife.....
Hi there,
My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. I am so excited picking out rings and picturing my life with the man that I love. HOWEVER, he has three children (after 10 months,ex will not allow me to meet them)....He shocked me this weekend by saying..that "the children and her will always be his family". He envisions me coming along to holidays with her....so his children can have both parents there. He is in med-school and lives four hours away from his children. Because he is a student, and broke...he stays at her house every other weekend. I have had difficulty with this since the beginning of our relationship...each time he goes my stomach stays in knots the entire weekend. He assures me that they have a strictly platonic relationship (and she says the same).....and that I am being unreasonable, because this is the only way to see his children. My ex-husband and I are civil, but we are not friends. This seems to be a theme for my not understanding his relationship with his ex. Your response is appreciated, I know what my friends and family think....sadly I am blind with love..and maybe an outsiders objective opinion is what I need. Thanks
Re-post this
Hi, I would post this on a new forum topic. More people will see it. I think you will get many responses and hopefully some help.
Depends on which day you ask this question.....
But I have to say that being a step-parent, step-wife, step-daughter in law, step "whatever" is by far THE toughest thing I have ever done in my life. I'm in the same boat as Fearless and I live in the shadows of the ex wife. She still has the sympathy and pity of his family "for the sake of the children" and I am an insignificant piece of lint that their son/brother just happened to pick up. I have moments of panic, resentment, sadness, hopelessness and lonliness. I never, ever feel that I belong. I've sunk so low at times that I miss my "old ex-family"....my ex husbands family loved me, welcomed me, hugged me when they saw me and here's a good one...they EVEN remembered my name when they called our house!!! I live every day, looking at my step children, helping them with homework, taking care of them when they are sick, being their friend and care-taker in every sense of the word yet dealing with the heart break when I go to a sports function or a dance recital and, just because Mom is there and she hates me, they won't even look at me, say hello or good-bye. It hurts really, really bad.
Think very long and very hard about what you are considering. It is a long, tough journey and while I have many, many "good days", I have alot of bad days too. Days that I just want to give up out of desperation in finding an answer.......
The most important thing I've learned? If your man doesn't have a set of balls on him and is not willing to defend you to HER, his family and most importantly, his kids, then DON'T DO IT!!! This is not something you can do alone. You need his support or you will spend every day angry with him and in turn, it will affect your relationship.
In my opinion (and for what it's worth) the fact that he spends the week-end at her place shows nothing but disrespect toward you. I understand he wants to see his kids but he can't afford a hotel (even a cheap one?) and why is it, that after 10 months you haven't met the children? I think it's time that you started going on his week-ends and figure out why it is that she won't "let you" meet the kids? Put your foot down now and demand the respect that you deserve. If he is not willing to give it, then move on and cut your losses. Life is waaaay too short to spend it feeling like crap and playing second best.
Take care of you.........
My sentiments exactly...
My husband has terrific qualities but the hell in the first years with step kids, in hind sight, was not worth it. We do have a good life now but wow it took a toll. Wouldn't do it again...
I would do it again...I am madly in love with my dh.
Sappy yes, but he is so worth it, and I love my ss. I do have to say that I came into this situation with expectations that two adult(keyword), women could be civil to each other. I had previously dated a guy who had a daughter, she was a brat from hell, but bm was never a problem, we were actually friends. I tried the same approach with ss bm from the beginning. I was very friendly, well she made the mistake of taking my civility for fear. She decided to follow me and dh around a store one day, BIG MISTAKE. I dealt with it longer than I normally would have, but finally went off on her. She left the store, so I guess she got the point;) After that dh and I handled things with a business approach. Which was fine and good til, I was telling her something about SS's presentation on an essay he did, and crazy loon thanked me for going to his event, and HUGGED ME. That totally freaked me out, I felt so violated...I wanted to go home and shower with alcohol. I did actually go home and take a shower, *shudder*. Keep in mind this same BM takes what I like to call a "vacation from reality" about once every three months. When someone who you know hates you, hugs you, it really does make you paranoid. I was looking up at the rooftops for a sniper afterwards...lmao. I won't lie, I will be so glad when ss turns 18, and we can move the 750 miles south, to my hometown.
I would do it over...
Other than dealing with recent child support issues, my experience as a second wife overall has been positive. Part of the reason for that is that my DH is an incredible step-dad. He has been parenting my BS for nine years now (since my son was 3) and I know that my son is a better kid for it. My ex husband lives over a thousand miles away, and though he is as good a dad as he can be from there, it's nothing compared to the sacrifices my DH makes to really be a dad. My SD comes every other weekend, and though we love her my DH and I are both aware that he's not really raising her. I'm so lucky because DH is a very rational, mature man who can see things for what they are and accept them. I still wish his ex would fall off the face of the earth and that the SD would come live with us, but all in all I still feel I made a wise decision.
Yes, I believe I would.
Of course, that answer has changed practically on a minute-by-minute basis over the course of our six-year marriage!
But seriously, I have no regrets. I think I am where I am supposed to be and going where I'm supposed to be going with the person I'm supposed to be travelling through this life with. I've had periods when I didn't think it was worth it, but in the end, he's still the man I want to grow old with. When it gets bad, I always ask myself if he's still the one I want with me when I die and, so far, that answer has always been a resounding YES.
~ Anne ~
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Wow!
I like that Anne. I like how you think sometimes. Something funny I'd like to share... Way off topic. But you and I must look alike, at least if that picture is really you. My daughter always asked "who's that", when she sees pictures of people and animals she doesn't know. She says "that's momma" when she sees yours. Thought I would share.
I ask myself that weekly
and it always comes back to the whole reason I am here in the first place is to be with my husband, I do love him. I don't know what to do about the his kids. I hope in the end I can say it was all worth it. I hope I make it there.
Lets See........hmmmmm
No.
Gosh this is a tough one
I love my Dh very much, but I did not realize just how hard this whole blended family stuff was going to be. No amount of reading can prepare you. There are days when I just feel empty inside and sick in the pit of my stomach. Even the smallest things that would not even be an issue in a traditional family can become as volatile as a nuclear bomb.
Sometimes I wish that I would of held off with moving in together and getting married. There are other days when I am very satisfied and happy. I do know that I could not imagine life without him. It is every other facet, from s-kids to ex's and in-laws, and everything else in between that goes along with it that wears on me and that I often wish that I could run screaming from.
No matter how great of relationship you have there will always be areas of discomfort and times that you feel absolutely disconnected. At least this is what my experience is.
Family loyalties run deep and end up becoming a dividing line even in the most dedicated couple.
*sigh*
I guess this is a really wishy-washy sort of answer, but my feelings are so confused it makes it tough. Sometimes I just want to run away and other days I wouldn't leave for the world.
But I can say if I were ever faced with this sort of thing again- bite my tongue. I would not jump into it with both feet. In fact, I would probably not jump at all.
Georgie
Thank you.
You said it.
Wow! I was actually thinking about this last night....
No probably not, I was previously engaged to a wonderful man who was deeply in love with me and who was very wealthy, but I did not love him, so we broke it off, and the man before that I was totally in love with but it was just not the right time, and now back to my husband who when I met him we just figured we had a good time together and enjoyed eachothers company, we did not know many years later we would still be together married with a child..... and his other child and all the excessive baggage, sometimes I wish I kept fishing in the ocean.
Yes, I would. I love my
Yes, I would. I love my husband. I would've however detached from his ss much much sooner instead of trying to fix an unfixable situation. I suppose I had to go through a lot to give up on that situation to really have come to a point where I feel at peace with my decision to separate myself from that fraction of my Dh's life. We have a great couples counselor that has allowed both Dh and myself see that ss is abusive and that I shouldn't have to be a part of the dysfunction and abuse of the situation. Since we don't have custody, just 4 days/month, it really isn't hard for me now that I've allowed myself the freedom to be happy, and not feel guilty.
Light Bulb!! :O
Suburban Mama, I just had a "lights on!" after reading your reply. I have been a Step for 20 years. My SS has never liked, wanted or accepted my presence in his life.. Despite great effort and long suffering on my part to try to get close to him.
He is married to the SDIL from "Heck" who just drove the last nail in the coffin a few days ago (my blog)
I did not realize that it was an option to just walk away. I have been at the end of my rope for ages with this guy, but have kept trying anyhow for my husband's sake. To keep the illusion of family going for him I guess. Poor guy. He's really the one losing out here. But I have given it everything and been creative, I even agreed to design/pay for their wedding decorations and assemble the flowers etc for a peace offering (Floral Designer) which seemed to help all of a few months.
The only thing now that I hate to think about is that if their marriage survives the drama, they will eventually have children which I am positive will be used/kept from us to hurt us. I doubt I will be able to associate with them. So ends the light bulb moment. But it was good while it lasted!!Ha!
Verdict is still out.
I would have just dated.....
Would Have Waited
until the skids were 18 or older to get married or move in. They are now 16 and 17 and while DH knows his kids are PITA he used to say hang in there... they will move out when they turn 18. Well just as my therapist said.. these kids are not moving out.. they are not equipped. DH just last week said.. They do not have to move out when they turn 18. HUH??? I said well here is the deal, if they are just as disrespectful and slobbering as they are now.. they move or I will --- not a veiled threat.. its the time that I have given myself and this experiment. As I sit in the back seat, my happiness has been on hold. Yes things have gotten better with the skids (loong way to go, but improvements noted).. its DH's enabling that drives me nuts... he even has managed to wreck a good dog with his passive discipline (lack of) .
I think of this question often
I would most definitely do this again with some changes. I wouldn't have waited so long to voice my very loud opinions about the way he disciplined SD11 and I would have put the KABOSH on his family sooner. My husband is one the most wonderful men in the world. He loves me unconditionally and thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world (even when I don't feel that way). He gives me a look that tells me how much he loves me, how beautiful I am and what a catch he thinks he has....yes one look tells me all of that. He has a great sense of humor and we share a common interest in almost everything. I would have to say absolutely I would marry him again....with slight changes to the situation.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
I would wait before getting pregnant
because, based on my experience, it is easier to walk away from love (and easier to find new love as well), when a child is not involved.
If I had previous experience of step-parenting difficulties, I definitely would not have had a biological child so soon.
On a more positive note, I do have to say that I am enjoying my marraige to almost 99% ever since I stopped indulging in 'GUILTY step-parenting' and began to be assertive, self-protecting and unreasonable as all parties involved. The trick is to do exactly what makes you happy and ignore what everyone else thinks, believe me this makes you a happier and mentally healthier parent and partner in the end, because as you are not pretending, all (including your partner) will learn to either deal with it... or F..K off.
I guess it depends on how badly you want to be with your partner, as that generally determines how much crap you are willing to take.
In my husband, I have found my soulmate, but he knows that our relationship can only endure for as long as I am number 1 in his life and we are the tag team that will steer the course that OUR family will take(SKs, BKs or Any kids that are in my home)
Being the Real 'You' should Always be Good Enough
I feel the same as Tired2...
Your dh sounds a lot like mine! I wouldn't trade DH for anything... I don't regret a thing... We've been through a lot, and I know that there is much more in store... BB trying to break us up... BB accusing us of child abuse.... The drama never ends!
BUT....
We have learned and grown closer and stronger.... BB's antics had the opposit affect of what she was seeking. Theres not much that we couldn't get through together.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda
I will say this.........
I don't have the ENERGY to EVER get married again. This marriage took it's toll on me, by God! My husband thinks I'm a VERY STRONG PERSON.....Bull, Does a strong person have to be on anti-depressants every day??? Not in my book. So, this marraige is and will be THE LAST ONE I EVER GET INTO,NOTHING will ever make me marry again,I'm looking for peace and contentment now,not romance and love. Did that,AND over it!!
hangingin
I Really Don't Know
I love DH more than anything in this world, but on the 1st and 3rd weekends of the month I just wish I had never met him. We would have an absolutly perfect relationship if they didn't exist. If we ever divorced and I met somebody else with kids I would run so fast the other way his head would spin. What makes it worse is that the kids were accidents when he was in high school, so I look at it as they were never wanted anyway, everybody looks at them as mistakes, like it's something we're obligated to on those weekends, which I know is so totally wrong, I know it's not their fault their parents were stupid, lord I'm a terrible human being.
Nope...sorry to say that.
I love my husband but sometimes love just isn't enough. I'm contemplating ending this hell. Maybe it is me being selfish but I'm so sick of this. Life was better single and if I ever get lonely again, I shall remember this hell is way worse than a lonely hell.
I have to say that I would
I have to say that I would not have waited and I would not have given up. I love my husband more than anything. I also love his son. It was definately hard to become an instant mother. My life changed sooo much. And I really never thought it would be as hard as it was. (I'm sure most of you felt the same way.) I didn't know what was in store for me. But now we've gotten to the point that my stepson loves me. He really cares for me and my entire family. When I met him, he didn't listen to anyone. I questioned taking him out into public. But the more I worked with him and stuck to my rules, he got better and better. Now he's wonderful for me. He behaves better for me than either his BM or BF. He listens to anything I say and does as I ask. He's a great child and he tells me he loves me and it makes it all worth it. And just so you understand, my SS has not even told his BM or BF that he loves them in over a year. But for some reason.. I'm the lucky one