What does it even mean?
So I got a call from DH today. One of his friends called him and told him that someone close to him, who he considers like a son and watched the kid (mid 20s) grow up slept with DH's ex wife. Apparently this happened about 3 years ago. DH is upset with him. Apparently ex wives should be off limits. Ok. I'm pissed that he even gives two craps who his ex sleeps with. I don't care who my ex sleeps with. I left him and it's none of my business. DH doesn't want to talk to the boy now and he's mad. How should I feel about this? As a woman, I feel like it means he still had some sort of feelings there. He's now mad at me because I don't seem to understand and he now feels like he has to defend himself with me. How would you feel? Am I absolutely crazy? Oh yeah...he refers to his ex as "mother of his children. "
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I'd be pissed. However, I
I'd be pissed. However, I think this is why DH doesn't have many friends, BM has slept with a lot of people.
However, he might feel like it's a betrayal of the guy because the guy probably knows how much grief BM gave him.
I doubt he's jealous. I
I doubt he's jealous. I agree with moving_on_again. He's probably feeling betrayed this person close to him literally "slept with the enemy".
I think it has a lot more to
I think it has a lot more to do with the relationship between him and the young man than between him and his ex. He doesn't like the fact that a YOUNGER man that he does not consider a peer decided to sniff where he already sniffed. Dumb territorial guy mentality.
A couple years after X-DH and
A couple years after X-DH and I split up I found out he was seeing one of my good friends from high school. I felt like it was a betrayal on her part. I went through hell being married to him and it seemed like she dismissed all my pain, and for a lack of betters words, took his side. I think some things are off limits regardless of “being over it”.
That happened to me too. Old
That happened to me too. Old friend from high school who lived states away called all her old guy friends from high school checking their availability. She even called my now DH's brother, and he politely told her no thanks. She friended me on facebook, found out that Ex-H and I weren't together anymore and connected with him. She asked me if there was anything she should know about him, so I told her. She ended up calling me bitter and jealous, saying that I didn't really know him. (I had been married to him for 17 years). They visited each other one time, and then she moved her and her 3 kids to our state and moved in with Ex-H. They got married a month later, and she left him 3 months after that. Idiot. He was the 3rd of her 5 husbands. She's now looking for #6.
It would have taken all I had
It would have taken all I had not to send her a message "told you so."
^^^THIS.
^^^THIS.
Just seeing her pathetic
Just seeing her pathetic selfie posts on facebook is enough for me. She's a 50 year old woman with the mentality of a girl in middle school.
What did his friend get out
What did his friend get out of telling your DH this? Who cares it happened 3 years ago. Why even mention it. You are not crazy. Ignore it, just like the idiot that made the phone call should have.
The "friend" who made the
The "friend" who made the call... what was the motivation there? I mean whatever happened happened THREE years ago. Who knows what the circumstances were... apparently since the EX and this other friend aren't together.. there was no permanency to whatever happened.
Let's put it this way, if your DH had NEVER learned this information.. what effect would it have had on him? pretty much none. If the friend had been an otherwise good friend then all it is doing is creating a rift over an apperent isolated incident. Unfortunately, I'm sure it's a mental image that won't be easily erased.
I also agree it's a sleeping with the enemy sort of betrayal. Usually EX's are offlimits to friends except in rare situations.
Oh.. and your DH is angry
Oh.. and your DH is angry that his friend did something behind his back that his friend should have known was wrong. It's not so much that he is jealous that someone slept with his EX. It's that his friend did this. It's the betrayal of someone he thought was "teamDH" instead of TeamDH.. except when the Ex throws it at me.
I think your DH is angry that
I think your DH is angry that is friend was sleeping with the enemy. Kind of a brohood rule broken. I don't think your DH is mad because he has feelings for HER. You just should never do the nasty with one of friend's exes...
I get the guy code. I guess I
I get the guy code. I guess I would be ok if he referred to as sleeping with the enemy but he referred to it as sleeping with "the mother of my children." Almost as if she's on some sort of pedestal or something. That urks me.
Ewwwww......so his ex is to
Ewwwww......so his ex is to be a Virgin Mary from now on since she is the “mother of my children “?
He needs to not care what his ex does, it’s her sex life...not his.
Oh, he’s not even in the
Oh, he’s not even in the doghouse; he’s tied to a tree with a chain. I wouldn’t even speak to my DH if he ever referred to BM as the mother of his children.
Exactly!!! My ex is my kids
Exactly!!! My ex is my kids dad but I refer to him as ex. Saying the other puts her on some sort of pedestal that she will always be on!!! She's 10 years or more older than the boy. If you feel like he's your son how about this older woman took advantage maybe. Don't really know the story but it's obvious that mother of his children isn't the innocent victim. Now DH is mad at his friend and me because I told him how this made me feel. Guess who is the only person not on the hook...mother of his children!!!
Yuck. How hold were they?
Yuck. How hold were they?
Uh, ya.
Uh, ya.
:jawdrop:
Oh, I missed the mother of my
Oh, I missed the mother of my children reference. I'd be seething with that!
If my DH reacted that way, I
If my DH reacted that way, I would tell him that a person only reacts that way if they still have feelings for an ex and I would ask him straight out if he still had feelings for his ex. I wouldn’t give him any sympathy over how he’s feeling because he shouldn’t feel anything other than grossed out that his friend slept with his ex.
wow. mind blowing and a sad
wow.
mind blowing and a sad situation
someone has no respect for their elders and elder is a cougar
Ehhh, I’d be pissed honestly.
Ehhh, I’d be pissed honestly. His referencing her as “the mother of his children” would erk me too, especially since you guys don’t/won’t be having any together. Yeah, it’s crapy that hidcfeiend did that, but he should explain to you that he doesn’t care who she sleeps with, but is disgusted, betrayed by friend or whatever. I hope it all calms down and you find some clarity in the situation. Sorry BMs trash says are affecting your marriage. :/
**ways
**ways