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Just a thought..

I love dogs's picture

First of all I am extremely grateful for step talk. It is a minor addiction but it is my new escape. So my thought was: I would NEVER be brave enough to date a man with TWO BMs! No, no, and no! When I read a story that talks about BM2 I just cringe. I am not talking down to anyone, I just couldn't imagine the Hell two ex-wives with skid attachments would bring. Anyway, have a safe weekend and Happy Friday!

Comments

strugglingSM's picture

Me neither! One BM is more than enough for me, thank you very much! Not to mention the possible configurations of conflicts and drama that could result from having kids at different ages, who have different mothers.

Of course, I would hope that BM2 in most cases, would be easier to deal with, because she herself had presumably been a SM to BM1's children, but I know that, that's probably not the case in all scenarios.

queensway's picture

My girlfriends brother has been married 8 times. We joke about it a lot and have a good laugh. We can't figure out how he gets these woman to marry him. But could you imagine marrying this guy and having 8 ex wives. He has 5 children by 4 woman. All adults now.

strugglingSM's picture

Wow! He must be an eternal optimist...you would figure that after the third one didn't work out, he'd start wondering if marriage was worth it!

queensway's picture

We can't figure him out. I guess he could be a eternal optimist. He is single now so he might try again.

Disneyfan's picture

My ex had 2 BMs. I got along great with one and wanted to strangle the other one.

He married the crazy one(#2) but lived with the normal for 8 years.

The normal one is someone I would be friends with. The crazy one the type of woman that drives me insane(insecure,needy,lazy,gullible,greedy...)

not your momma's picture

My husband has two BMs.

BM1 is the mother of the 3 oldest kids. She's a piece of work who has successfully poisoned MSS21 against us. Well, against me in particular. SS24 and SD18 have both been able to see through her BS. And it helps that I defer when it comes to life events (ie. We took SD to college in August. It was a 2 day thing with parent events on both days. In deference to BM1 wanting to play MOTY on day 1, I was more than happy to have some me time at a coffee shop with my knitting.)

BM2 is the mother of SS16. She abandoned him completely about 4 years ago.

So yeah. Two BMs. Neither one is a problem I have to deal with.

sunshinex's picture

I think this a lot too! Also couldn't imagine more than one stepkid. Not sure how some of you ladies do it but I'm amazed because I'd lose my freaking shit lol

I love dogs's picture

I couldnt imagine more than one skid either! It's funny to me how people are so eager to procreate. I guess it's in our nature and all, but having kids every 2-3 years with someone new always makes red flags go up for me. Why can't people just have a stable life before kids? SD was an "oops" baby and I'm 99% sure BM's second child was as well but I'll never know for sure. I'm not saying children don't deserve to live but it unnerves me that some adults just spread their seed all around the town.

I've been with DH for over 7 years and we still haven't had a baby because we are working on our careers and know that we don't have the extra time to care for someone else full time.

justkeepstepping's picture

My mother's first marriage (my BD) she had 2 full time step children. Her second marriage she had 5, yes FIVE, full time stepchildren. All 7 were boys.

My stepmother had 5 stepchildren, plus her 2 boys. My 2 older brothers (full time) and the 3 children my parents had together EOWE. I also lived with them full time after 15 years old.

I don't know how either of them survived that.

I love dogs's picture

I'm sure it was more common back in the day to have 3+ kids but that is definitely not my cup of tea!

JadeMom's picture

My DH also has two BMs. Neither are ex wives.

BM1 was a high school fling that got pregnant. SD is nearly 19 now. BM is not crazy, just nasty, two faced and immature. Luckily we haven't really had to deal with her in some time (SD is PAS'd out, so no visits) She's poisoned SD from day 1 and now they're besties, getting matching tattoos when SD was 15 (the first of many tattoos, pre 18) among a slew of other sh!t.

BM2 is psycho. SD8 was a huge oopsie. She got pregnant within the first month of being with my DH. They didn't last too long. I can't even begin to get into her crazy, but it follows a lot of crazy we see on this board.

So while DH has 2 BMs, I really only sort of deal with one. (I say sort of because I refuse to deal with her, Hardy har.)

Maxwell09's picture

I guess this makes a judgy Judy but I am baffled as to why men date women with multiple kids from multiple dads. I also don't see why some of the females I know date guys with more than one kid from more than one woman. I get some women naturally want to "fix" these men, but what's the men's excuse? BM is not attractive and she is a mean girl on top of that. But all narcs are charming up to a certain point. I was told she once bragged she was having five kids no matter how she had to get them. Keep in mind she's on Fiancé #3, has two baby daddy's and has had 5 "relationships" and SS JUST turned 6 a month ago.

But on the flip side, in most of these cases there almost always seems to have 1 crazy ex and then one mild to normal ex.

I love dogs's picture

"But all the narcs are charming up to a certain point".

^^This! Actually BM is extremely charming and great at playing the "poor, single mom " card. So good in fact, that she got DH's parenting time down to a bare minimum in court although he had not proven that he wasn't capable of 50/50 time sharing like normal dads.