Out of Food Goodwill
I've been ok helping with some food costs for SDs, within reason. Done with that for SD13. She's been caught throwing away food and talked to over and over again. Still does it. When DH was out of town I caught her ready to throw away 2/3 of a turkey burger... made her wrap it up and properly put it away. Made sure DH knew because he wanted to know. Tonight I get home and she's thrown away three slices of pizza. "SD13, why are you throwing food away?" Silence. "Answer me, why are you doing this?" "Because I don't want it." "You think no one else in this house won't want it either?" Shrugs. I leave pizza on counter.
DH comes home. Wonders about pizza. I say, "We are buying SD13 too much food. This was in the trash when I got home." ..."oh"...Me, "That's it?! Oh??" DH, "Why are you on my case..." Me, "Because I can't do anything about it. I have zero authority to deal with it. And now my option is to give no money to her food at all." Meanwhile SD13 enjoys herself watching her show...happy as can be. No ramifications as usual.
Meanwhile SD11 is still at her friends house. DH said ok apparently but had no plan to get her. Then he says, "I wonder how she's going to get herself home." WTF? Say NO sometimes! I just kept my mouth shut in that situation.
Then we're talking about our trip to England in November, SD13 overhears and is put out a bit, but not overly so. Good. DH says, "We're going to take you two next year." I agree and clarify "we are planning that, yes." He then goes on, "And maybe France too! Wouldn't that be fun?" I shoot a death glare at him and say something like, um, WTH? Maybe you can go alone (with SDs). He's now all po'd that I'm being harsh and argumentative...um no. You spring stuff like that on me with no discussion, I don't think automatically a trip with SDs will be a grand time. He seemed to listen but understanding is another thing.
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I agree with peanut... That's
I agree with peanut... That's what I did when DH and I first moved in together. He let SD who was 2 at the time be incredibly wasteful. He would make her something, she'd refuse it, so he'd make her something else, and so on and so on... eventually I told him I'm not paying for that kind of behaviour so I stopped. Turns out letting her waste on HIS dime and his dime alone wasn't very affordable so he got more strict lol
Oh yes we have separate
Oh yes we have separate accounts, always have. I've been willing to help with groceries, the basics, not extras (frozen pizza is a basic with 2 kids imho... sometimes it has to be easy). But now I'm out of helping with the basics.
DH and I split the cost of
DH and I split the cost of groceries, but we may have to start with him paying extra, because his kids like to waste food and eat things they aren't supposed to. Typically, after they leave, there are at least four half drunk sodas, waters, juices, gatorades lying around, because god forbid they should finish one before having another. Also, god forbid they drink the drinks they begged for at the store. Those have been in our fridge for almost two months, but it's much more fun to drink the drinks DH bought to take to work with him.
They also seem to think that anything in the fridge or the pantry is theirs for the taking. I bought a fancy dip tray to take to an event and came home one Sunday evening to find that it had been opened and picked at. It's not as if there aren't enough other snacks, but sure, skip the things that adults won't eat and eat the things that were probably not for you.
They are always "starving", so seem to eat many more than three meals a day and they insist on adult meals at restaurants because they "can eat the whole thing" (as if I'm supposed to be proud of them for that). I like to tell them "just because you can eat more, doesn't mean you need to eat more." When he was single, DH used to take them out to eat at least twice while they were with him and not just to family restaurants, either, but restaurants where the cheapest meal is $15.
Also, your trip example sounds like the time my DH told his kids we'd get a boat, so they could all go out fishing and crabbing. I told him later, that he could have either a boat or a wife, but not both.
". Typically, after they
". Typically, after they leave, there are at least four half drunk sodas, waters, juices, gatorades lying around, because god forbid they should finish one before having another"
>>>SHUDDER<<< you are giving me flashbacks!!!
Ha Ha Me too! I would always
Ha Ha Me too! I would always find them under the couch or bed. Ugh so frustrating.
Or in the back of MY car...
Or in the back of MY car... gahhh.
My DH like a good daddy would usually finish their drinks... just put them in the fridge and finish them. yuck.. I am so not drinking after skids...
Yuck....I wouldn't even kiss
Yuck....I wouldn't even kiss my DH if he drank after skids. Thankfully, he thinks that is disgusting also. I don't even drink after my own kids and I don't want to expose them to my germs either.
Cover Hon when will you learn
Cover Hon when will you learn lol....
stop helping with food, dang basics does not include frozen pizza, that's a luxury... ramin noodles and bread, now that's basic.
What ticks me off, when people waste food and there's animals that could've gotten the scraps.
SOmetimes I make to much food and well after day 3 we are tired off it, I simply put it in a plastic container and keep it till the beggers comes around, the night before trash removal, they know by know not to go through my trash can, cause the food is in containers on top... this week... I got 5 containers back lol....... nicely cleaned, yeah that's sending a message.. we will bring your containers back if you keep on leaving us food.
Meh. This was low on my list
Meh. This was low on my list of issues because I didn't buy junk. If they were eating better food I didn't mind. That's over!
I think I might after dinner one night toss it all out, all of it because "I don't want it."
Chef cooks for an army even
Chef cooks for an army even though there are just the two of us. we eat leftovers and what we don't finish is either frozen or given to the local wildlife.
Annnnd this is why we always
Annnnd this is why we always made the girls ask us before they got a drink or snack or meal.
My YSD was not really good about this either. She would often make too much or order a meal and then not finish it. Usuallly leftovers came home to sit in the fridge unless her dad ate them.
We had to try to manage portions for her so that she didn't waste too much. Drinks were the worst because she would open a soda and take like 4 sips and let the rest sit.. or bottle of water same thing. To this day, she is not great about finishing stuff.
In fact, we went on a road trip with her this summer (she's 19) and we went into a store and bought sodas.... when we got out of the car.. I'm like..oh now let's get our trash out of the car (another hassle..lol) and she proudly pipes up. "I finished my whole soda!".. I told her it must be a Christmas Miracle..haha.
She laughed.. and said.. must be Christmas in July!
The bottom line is that kids are probably not particularly good in this area. I wouldn't get too overly wound up in it with her... Make her ask before she helps herself and be clear that any portion she doesn't finish must be wrapped up and put in fridge.. then start feeding these scraps to your DH.
LOL. I have no authority to
LOL. I have no authority to monitor or control her food as DH undermines me or just gives her blanket ok to do whatever. The only thing I can do is stop helping with SD13s food....and SD11 for that matter if she doesn't eat what she asked for.