I don't know what to say Gunner as a woman I should feel for this poor woman...

but I am laughing and thinking, yes bitch you tried to be cute and threatened to walk away, now what... you lost a great guy and for what....

I hope you never take this woman back and file for divorce immediately, you will not even pay alimony or anything for that matter, get a good lawyer and start immediately with the proceedings.... and please be careful she will come back saying she made a mistake and try and seduce you into bed... it's all bluff she only wants your wallet... but this time she might get pregnant and then you are fucked for life...

enjoy the summer with your kids and your own money

Thank goodness you finally stood your ground. You do NOT need to be treated like that and your children deserve more.
Not that she realizes you are dead serious, be prepared for her to come running back acting as if she is sorry and wanting to change. It will be a hoax and just a way to come back in and get you to start paying for her and her children again. Do NOT fall for it. She is out so make sure you stand your ground and keep her out.

" you will never find another woman like her".. WELL.. I hope not. lol!

Seriously, it seems her priorities were for you to pay for her and her kids. That is a non starter in my books.

However, I would get thee to an attorney asap to make sure you have your ducks in a row for the certain money grab that she is going to make in the divorce!

Gunner, I've read your thread and don't understand the anger towards you other then the fact your are a man and not a women.

I get that you are not ending your marriage on her being 10 mins late for dinner, I totally understand it because of her behavior towards your children and you.

She doing what most GUBM's do on here and the step-mum's supported on how to deal with it.

And as for your wife she needs to stop giving ultimatums and playing games and actually sit down and have a grown conversation about whatever is bothering her.

How would she like if you told her her kids need to go and live their father, and you will not be at home every other weekend when they are with her.

Gunner, in no way am I convinced that your wife was solely out for your money. Not enough data. The feelings about the extra money going to the other house can create a complex set of issues that are not about the money itself. Her demands about money may have more to do with feeling like the concubine while the "real" wife gets the status. She may be trying to claim her place as your life partner. Could be.

What I have a problem with is her very sub-par problem solving. If she can't figure out how to be direct without making threats or digging in her heels you will have a rocky time with her no matter what. She should have been telling you long ago what her objections were to your kids' behavior and she should have been willing to learn that her kids have flaws, too. She didn't. She tried a series of sneaky moves to cut them out then she suddenly attempted to cut them out outright. That is not partnering.

You have offered counseling. She needs to take you up on that. I don't care that you made an appointment before she could choose the time or person. Why doesn't she just say, "that's a good idea, but I'd rather go to this doc, ok with you?" Refusing at all is a bad sign and if the reason is her objection to your so-called "unilateralism" that is like being thrown a life preserver and the drowner turns up their nose, "You didn't let me pick the orange one over the red one so I'm just gonna keep drowning."

I'd be interested to know, gunner. Does your sister in law know your wife personally? Did she come up with these theories derived from her experiences with this woman? Or was she saying women in general will do xyz?

I think if your family has been cautious or even suspicious about her before that maybe they see things we can't and that you were blinded to.

And, please, her marriage is on the razor's edge. She should have showed up reasonably on time or called to warn you about traffic holding her up or whatever.

Gunner, I hope you can hold strong. It does sound like the MRS is playing. And has been playing for quite a while.

Don't let the FemBots here get you. A lot of us here, (don't jump me guys...you know it's true) are anti-BM and anti-dad because we are the "Put Upon Step Mom." Thing is. Your wife is playing games that are just plain manipulative.

She is using the kids, yours and hers, as artillary. This is war, Gunner. You have won a battle. Don't give up anymore territory.

You waited only 10 minutes and would not even text that you are leaving? Ugh?

Your wife shouldn't have asked you to choose between her and time with your kids that is messed up. I admit my skids annoy the hell out of me but, I would never ask my DH to choose between us own kids and me.

Oh ok I can understand that the wife shouldn't be mad about that because OP didn't make her kids and has his own kids to take care of. If OP wants to do something for his kids with his money that is his business. Every situation and household is different though. In my case I would be upset if my DH was paying extras as we are on a set budget and cannot afford extras.

Gunner, I think it's good you talked to your family about this, as they actually know your wife, and can give you potentially better advice.

The fact that she showed up at home at 8:30 at your home shows she did want to talk, so that's a good sign, but being a half hour late for an important dinner is definitely playing.

I really have a hard time believing a woman with her own children would make a man she loves choose between her and his own children. That's not right. What if Gunner ended up with full custody? Oh the horror!

My DH gave above and beyond for SD, and I honestly think my SD will end up with more material things in life than our children together. I don't care, however, because I would rather give my children my time and energy than just pay the extras SD is accustomed to. If our children were really lacking, that's a different story. If they weren't my DH's own children, then they definitely would not deserve anything from him unless he voluntarily wanted to give something. My DH does very well for himself, but we both prefer to live under our means, which is not the lifestyle he had with BM. I don't resent her or him for living differently in the past than we do now.

I do think it is an interesting point that a family member drafting a pre-nup is not necessarily the best idea, even if he does specialize in that. I would think he could draft one and then send you to a third party to make sure it sticks. That said, after only 2 years of marriage, I can't believe she would be entitled to much anyway.

If you do want to work things out and she doesn't like that you chose the counselor, why not tell her to pick one out and you will attend with her. This way she feels like she gets some control, but you get what you both want and need in seeing one.

Row, row, row this "crew" gently away from me...

*Mofo closes door quietly and tip toes away*

Choosing to gossip about your wife with your brother and SIL shows poor character. From what you've said, your wife is clearly not the only one with an ugly side, or who is playing games.

Money and ultimatums aside the biggest issue I have here is your wife's unwillingness to accept your children or do anything to blend your family. Then to turn around and tell you that you are to pay for private school for her kids?

Nope.

There is so much everyone has already said - however - I think the straw that broke the camel's back for me is her complete lack of willingness to go to counseling.

I must be jaded after all these years, but I'm already bored with this tale of make-believe woe. Pretty sure all the classic dramatic elements have already been hit though, so where to next? How does this most eventful story play out? Is it mandatory for all of these sagas to end with someone killing a dog? That would suck, but at least we'd know it was over.