Yes you should. Think of this like abuse (I know over the top).

Abuser lashes out
Then is super sweet making everything perfect won't happen again.
Build up
And attack again.

Hormonal is not an excuse.

Do not cancel the appointment. I've been reading your story (I'm a old poster but I had to delete my previous account for privacy issues, just re-registered). There is a difference between disengagement and being a jackass, your wife was acting like the latter and she knows it. The counselor will most likely point that out and she knows that and doesn't want to hear it.

Keep the appointment, and tell her it would do you both some good to be able to benefit from an outside perspective on how to communicate better. That it's not a opportunity to place the blame or point the finger, but rather to better understand each other to be able to move forward as a couple, by using some examples of past issues that have frustrated either one, or both, of you.

If I were you I would tell her that you would like to at least try to work on communication stuff with her. That you love her and you don't want to end up in the same spot again due to crossed wires. Of course you appreciate her apologies, but that you still feel it might help you have a better marriage.

You have to keep the appointment. It is needed. If not for the both of you. For you at least. (personally, I think she doesn't want to hear a professional tell her that she is wrong.)

Re read the answer to your last thread, she has done exactly what you were told she would do.

She playing nice, so you go back to where you should be.

I would tell her that you are keeping the therapy appointment and would like her to comes as well so you can improve you communication between the pair of you. I would be cancelling reservations to her favorite restaurant for Friday she is not your mother so there no reason for you to celebrate.

Re read the answer to your last thread, she has done exactly what you were told she would do.

She playing nice, so you go back to where you should be.

I would tell her that you are keeping the therapy appointment and would like her to comes as well so you can improve you communication between the pair of you. I would be cancelling reservations to her favorite restaurant for Friday she is not your mother so there no reason for you to celebrate.

Agree with those who say yes you should insist. You both need better communication and better ways of getting your needs met.

There's nothing to fear in marriage counseling if you care about your spouse and have nothing to hide. Even if she truly feels all is well between you now she should have no problem going and listening and learning simply because you asked. that is reason enough.

I'm glad she made the effort to set things right. That's a good start. Now she can keep up the good work by complying with this very simple and valid request on your part.

I would make sure she understands that counseling isn't necessarily to find out who is right or wrong in a given situation. You aren't using this as a 'gotcha' tool to point out her flaws.

You just feel that somehow you both failed to communicate what you each were really feeling and everyone suffered for it. You want to learn how to do better so that you both don't face this type of situation again.

lol, Straight out of my exSM's handbook. The few times my dad ever got "mad" and stood his ground, she would "play nice", then once everyone went back to routine and all was grand she would lash out again. Granted the roller coaster ride was on the daily and the time frame it took to get from level 1 to 100 of abuse was very short.

I agree with those who say she is trying to get everything back to its place. She saw herself lashing out a potential problem for all the perks she already gets. Maybe she was testing how far she can get your kids away, while still being ok with you. You know some men will distance themselves from their kids if the wives ask them to.

Hope I am wrong and she is making a conscious effort to make this whole thing a one time thing. Have you asked about the upcoming vacation yet? I think if the real issue was not addressed(her having a problem with your children, for whatever reason) these blow ups will keep happening.

I like ESMOD answer and approach, but definitely keep the appointment and you go even if she doesn't.