I don't give a shit what excuse DH would have. If he bought flowers for BM, that would be the end of our relationship. Mayyybeeee I'd be okay with condolence flowers for the death of a family member he used to know pretty well through her, but I better be in a good mood when that shows up on the CC statement). Let's not forget how you are totally screwing with your kids emotions. You can explain it 50 different ways, young children will see it as nothing but a big glimmer of hope for a reconciliation and then despise you for giving them that hope as they get older and it never happens

I saw that too. I said, "If he really wanted to set an example for his kids, he'd have stayed married. Oh wait, he is still married, they just don't live together anymore and they are both screwing other people."

Surprisingly I got lots of likes.

Look, I can see a father helping his kids buy their mom a gift for mother's day or whatever... but the breakfast thing is a bridge too far.

What about if the skids get us something for Christmas or mother's day/father's day are we supposed to get BM something from them as well? Because this has actually happened on Christmas and Mother's day/Father's day. I think it is to make BM look good in front of the skids and make us look bad because I am thinking why in the hell is she buying us a card of gifts with her money?

They haven't ever asked us to buy their mother anything so I think she is doing it just to make herself look good. LOL

Yeah it is different when they ask but, I found it strange that they were getting us gifts from them but, never asked us if they could get their mother any gifts. I mean if they asked DH and I would get them something small from them to her but, they never have asked in the almost 2 years I have known them.

Oh I recently went off about the whole soccer co-parenting photo.

Its all fine and dandy that it works for some people but this stuff is just making it harder for all the other families out there who aren't "prefect."
Like I don't need my friends posting this stuff and the comments about being an adult.

I am an adult. I'm an adult enough to understand the reality of our situation. BM would post this type of crap and make it out like its all SO's fault. She wants to whine and complain but any time we attempt to do something together she's no where to be found / yelling that he even offer because clearly its some sort of trick. Attempted to invite her to Easter just between us, the kids, her and her boyfriend she could even have taken the kids home early. Of course her response was a big no with alot more to say.

When I first started dating SO he attempted to let BM meet me. I was ok with it. She refused. She one time talked about us all going to a water park together. Of course on SO's dime. She set a date. When SO said that didn't work because I had work she blow up and refused to ever try again.

And that is why just being able to be around her without death glares is an achievement. Screw a special shirt. I am exactly like you describe. If we are EVER around her I step back and shut up. Don't talk to her. Don't talk to SO unless necessary. Don't try to interact with kids. Get in and out ASAP.

SO took SD6 to get a mother's day gift for BM2 because it was from SD. Just like BM2 takes SD to get a father's day gift for SO and Christmas presents for all of us. I also send a gift for BM2 because that's just kind of how we roll even though she irritates me sometimes. It's nothing more than $2-3 candles or warm socks.

We don't do those things for BM1 because she doesn't come around although she did send me a Mother's Day gift this year. I sent her a Mother's Day guilt trip soooo not quite the same.

Maybe I live in some alternate universe, but the way I see it is that we've got 3 great kids who deserve the best version of their parents. 90% this falls way short, but we're kind of in it together which often times means sharing some hard truths and a lot of frustration but with the help of site, I feel like I can vent it out and react better than I could without it. Of course, both of SO's kids were surprises and there was no real relationship before hand so maybe that's different? He tried for awhile with BM2 but it didn't work out.

If your parents are supposed to be the road map you use for shaping what your future relationships would look like, then being divorce already puts a giant wrench in the system. I think that helping SD get gifts for one another is the only salvageable way to show her that people can respect each other and not be together. Of course, SO refused to wish BM2 a happy birthday this year because she never has SD call or text on his birthday. I wished her a happy birthday.

I don't know all of this is confusing.

SD is only 5 but we are very honest with her. When she makes comments about how mommy should come over and hang out, we tell her that she has two parents in our household and one parent in mommy's household and that's how it is. We don't speak badly about BM or anything, but we make it very clear that there are boundaries and there is no hope for a big happy family with all of us. It's better this way because once she has a sibling, who's already on the way, she won't be confused. She knows very well that mommy and daddy are her parents, but they are not together and don't need to pretend they are.

If these parents are so unselfish and wanted to do what was right for their kids they really should have stayed married. The best thing for a child is for parents to STAY TOGETHER and happily if possible. If you are friendly enough to make breakfast for your ex and bring her a gift then you should have stayed married. I'm so sick of seeing posts like this. You know that guy does not have a serious SO and if he did she would be livid.

If you divorce you need to move on and have another good relationship and model that for your kids... not act like you are still married to the person you divorced. AGAIN... people who are not selfish and can get along should have stayed married for the sake of their kids. In my mind marriage is a commitment, forever (unless there is a major reason like physical abuse etc.) People decide they don't "get along" and get divorced and then try to pretend they are a happy family to please the kids.. what about pleasing the kids while you were still married. Society is really screwed up these days.

Men bring a new SO into the picture while still acting like a family with the ex.. It makes me sick. These men need a wake up call. I would not put up with this kind of interaction with a BM..

I read that too, and it made me sick. There are just so many things wrong with that whole mentality!

If my husband ever dared to pull that fakey making nice with ex-wife crap, he would come home to find his clothes thrown onto the pavement in trash bags and the locks changed.