Mother of the Year award being taken away
Last night, it finally happened, what I knew would eventually happen. SD18 Winona finally made BM snap. BM was physically very abusive to SO in the past, so it makes sense that it would eventually filter down to the little bratola, but no one ever ever ever deserves what happened last night.
My heart is breaking for Winona right now, as I write this. She and her mother got into a very heated argument, and one thing led to another, and because BM was drinking, things became awful fast. BM grabbed Winona, apparently squeezed her wrists, slapped her face, then slammed her on the floor where she hit her head, and began choking her.
Winona texted this to her father. We have such a difficult time believing her now, but it was confirmed when the BM also texted him what happened. She admitted to slapping her daughter and choking her.
When SO texted her that Winona is now 18, so Child Protective Services cannot intervene, she texted back "LOL, TY for making me feel better about things". This woman makes me absolutely sick.
Of course I know that Winona is not safe there at her mothers any longer - once that barrier has been broken, there is no going back, and it will probably happen again. So she is going to be with us full time. Which makes me nervous. This kid is emotionally around 12, an abuser like her mother. She needs therapy, lots of therapy, and I cannot fix this. We will adjust and have a family round table and discuss with her our expectations, after a day of recovery.
No child deserves for her mother to do this to her.
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Her mother was supposed to
Her mother was supposed to take her to Vegas for a graduation present. This for a girl who doesn't drink, do drugs, or party at all, has no boyfriend (or girlfriend). Im thinking she needs the money to be spent on therapy.
She was going to use her tax
She was going to use her tax return money, which is a large amount since she is lower income and claimed a child/dependant.
With BM, much of what she does is talk. I think NOW, she will feel guilty and be very generous, and money really does talk to Winona.
Who knows with these two - they might be the best of friends by next week.
But yes, she will become an abuser herself. She has already hit people and yells and is really mean. She has said awful things to me and I just sat there and took it, did not lose my cool. She has said awful things to her mother, mothers boyfriend Tweedle and her sister. The cycle will continue, and I do not want to be in it any longer. I hope and pray she gets the help she needs.
SD18 texted me that she
SD18 texted me that she doesn't think she will go. I say take a few months off completely, and only see her BM at graduation. And then only see her again on condition her mother gets some help, or goes to AA or something.
Isnt that what all mothers do
Isnt that what all mothers do when disciplining their back-talking children? JK. I have no kids, but I think that was excessive, I am still in shock.
Abused children seem to always go back to the abusing parents. I am hoping that she is more level-headed about things...
This is what I am afraid of -
This is what I am afraid of - I feel it would be healthiest if SD18 was not around her mother at all for a few months, that she reenter mother's life on the condition they go to therapy or something. Not just brush it under the rug. She is a sick and vicious woman.
SD18 - Ive noticed she can be a little 'delusional' if that is the right word. BM has been extremely abusive to SO and I figured something would happen because SD18 cannot stop herself from saying mean and b!tchy things, cant stop pushing buttons.
Was SD10 present at the time?
Was SD10 present at the time? Because if she was, you can/should call CPS about the abuse. Also, the police can be called, but likely won't do anything if W18 doesn't press charges.
I don't know, if SD10 was
I don't know, if SD10 was immediately present in the room and saw anything - but there was screaming because 4 police officers paid a visit.
And get this; when the 4 police officers came to their 2-bedroom apartment, the excuse BM gave for the screaming was that they were arguing over her room being a mess. And then showed them, and hey went "ugh", ok, bye.
Winona probably will not press charges.
She left the apartment last night, said she was going to commit suicide or live on the streets, and no one has heard from her. She has not responded to my texts, and her father has not heard from her either.
Wow, Danielle! Im so sorry
Wow, Danielle! Im so sorry you experienced that kind of abuse. It shatters you inside. The thing that sucks is that people like Satan and BM can have children, and abuse them, and then people like myself, who is not abusive, cannot have children, and will never ever know that kind of love.
BM already apologized, and promised "It will never happen again". I told Winona, "I believe she means that. But the physical barriers inside herself have been broken, and it will definitely happen again. You and adult, make your own decisions"
Vicious woman. My DHs ex
Vicious woman. My DHs ex attacked OSD physically as well. Not even surprised because she did it to DH. What's bizarre is that YSD (not the one attacked), isnt speaking to her mother. But OSD is still BFF with her. Go figure
Probably the eldest 'blocked'
Probably the eldest 'blocked' it out - and basically doesn't really remember. But that is an odd thing. I am wondering what will happen now, in this strange circle I am in. Will SD18 go back and be best friends with her mother? She texted me that she doesn't want to go to vegas with her.
I texted her today. My advice
I texted her today. My advice was "if your mother invites you to 'xyz ' place, smile your sweetest smile and ask for the cash, saying that you are saving up for college." And then use it for college.
Winona doesn't drink or anything, but she likes the sights and sounds.
I just found out Munchkin saw
I just found out Munchkin saw the whole thing and told dad her story. I have yet to find out what the whole story actually is, but both Winona and big "D" (daughter-beater) BM texted the same thing, so I can imagine that its all true. Winona recorded the whole episode too, she told her dad, so yes, if she chooses she can definitely file. And big "D" works with Autistic children in the school system, so it would go on record and get her permanently fired.
Ill have to talk to SO and see what he will do. Thus far, he is doing nothing. I don't think he really wants to put BM in jail. I don't have any of the texts on my phone or I would be calling police.
if sd10 was in the room, the
if sd10 was in the room, the freaking COPS should have taken action. i'd see if your dh can get his hands on a report. AND talk to an attorney. around here, in addition to the assault and battery, they'd also slap her with child endangerment for allowing her to witness an act of family violence.
you really might want to look into that. and if munchkin goes back to bm after her time with your dh, i'd strongly recommend asking for a wellness check (just for documentation purposes, based on their craptastic way of handling the first call i'd say it's not likely they'll actually do anything unless it's hospital-worthy)
911 and put her ass in jail.
911 and put her ass in jail. Keep her there.
There were 4 police officers
There were 4 police officers called to their apartment last night, due to screaming. The BM told them a story about how it was an argument over a messy room. They saw the room and went away. I do not have the texts on my phone, I saw them on SO's phone. I am at work, but trying to find out what SO will do. I think that it will be my word against hers, and then Winona would have to file the charges, right?
She also recorded the episode. I think the ball is in her court.
I would absolutely LOVE big "D" (daughter-beater) to be thrown in jail - she has continually abused So physically during their partnership and subsequent marriage (20 years), and now her boyfriend, Tweedles gets beat on, and finally lost it on her own child.
recorded? your dh needs that
recorded? your dh needs that recording. if it's only on her phone she may end up deleting it. i hope she hasn't by now....
CLove - seems like we live in
CLove - seems like we live in the same world....... and seriously, I would stay out of it... not even feel bad.
why cause BM and Aergia are the same, they will try and kill each other, then Aergia comes running to SO, he turns into a big ol' marshmallow and hands his salary over to her and becomes her little flea.... then after 2 months of this we find out, Aergia and BM kissed and made up the next day, they laugh about the bruises on their bodies and well Aergia takes BM to expensive lunches on SO's bank account....
hence my stance - if Aergia stays with BM longer then a week-end (2nights) she's not allowed to return home, we will pack up her shit and drop it off at BM's and Aergia will not be allowed back into our house.... Usually they start their fighting on day 4.... SO agrees with me when I drew him the routine BM and Aergia follows...
Stay out of it. I read the
Stay out of it. I read the comment about this adult being mentally 12. Why? Was she diagnosed with profound intellectual disability? I seriously have to eye roll when I hear people making the claim that someone is mentally younger.
LOL - I always think to myself... she'd act her age if you'd raised her to act her age... she's acting with the mentality of a 12 year old because that's what YOU consider to be acceptable behavior... lol
I haven't raised her at all -
I haven't raised her at all - Ive been in her life parttime for almost 3 years. She's emotionally 12, not mentally. She's actually quite intelligent.
That is a sore point between me and SO - I feel like he enables his children to the point o disabling them. He doe for them, instead of teaching them to do for themselves, and now the parent are reaping what they sowed.
sorry, I meant you generally,
sorry, I meant you generally, not you specifically. As in, that's what I think about the parent when a parent tells me their child acts younger than their age.
From what I understand - BM
From what I understand - BM attacked because her daughter was recording her drunk. And yes, her daughter can get under the skin, verbally, but there was no possibility that SD18 was attacking BM at all.
She's not MENTALLY 12, more EMOTIONALLY 12. She has never had a boyfriend, or kissed anyone, doesn't have friends she goes out and does things with.
The plan is that she gets a job, SO and I agree. I will stay out of it, and be supportive of SO, but I told him -hey, shes not going to change at all, she will stay the same, and you will need to be extra tough on her.
Who knows. Shes an adult now, and he is no longer responsible for supporting her. Once she graduates, its on her.
Danielle - her father during a heated argument, after her shoplifting excursion TOLD her over and over, that her smart a$$ mouthyness would cause someone to hurt her and abuse her sometime in the future. He actually predicted this would happen a few months ago. So yes = repercussions.
Acra - yes, I have been
Acra - yes, I have been TRYING to, but this is the very first time it has happened to her. And she watched it happen to her father. I really really want her to launch, so I am trying to be the "advocate for independence". I know you have experienced "turncoat" from Aergia.
I know that can also happen here - in all likelihood she will go back to mommy, who will promise to the moon and back that it wont happen again, and then it does, and then Winona will "cry cry, poor me..." like that.
Thank you for that advice - part of why I wrote this - I do not know what to do, and it is really pulling on my heartstrings. Because I went through the same type of thing, with my ex, and it is bringing out my protective instincts.
Thank you cocktail. Lately I
Thank you cocktail. Lately I have been trying to make things more positive. I told her father - "That girl should join the military. They would be able to re-mold her into someone solid, and she would have a healthy bank account and be taken care of and have college paid for. But most importantly she needs to have a good amount of discipline instilled in her, needs to be broken down and reshaped somehow...
Counseling for sure.
She is responding well to me, and my suggestions.