Last update on this... friend drama

I sent Frenemy/Friend 1 an email last night. Stated the facts. I wasn't mean or rude. Kept it short and sweet. Did state I should have addressed this with her earlier.

She replied back with the whole "well if this is how you feel I can't change how you feel. I hoped that we would have a time to get a drink and talk." She again lied about excluding me last Thursday sticking with she just happened to run into the other girls. (even though one of the other girls already told me the truth)

She never directly addressed me saying that I thought she was gossip and while I wasn't perfect that I felt like her gossip was mean and about her "Friends". She couldn't dispute it, so she just ignored it.

She never directly addressed her excluding me either. She said she wasn't sure why she was being singled out (to which I told her, the others don't tell me they miss me and want to hang with me then 2 days later have a game night at their house and not invite me).

She did a lot of well if you knew me, you would know I am a good friend. (oh I know you and I know you are only a good friend when it benefits you) and that she has never had this happen with a friendship so this is uncharted territory for her. (Yeah- sure... I know her type... Maybe I'm just the only who has called you out)

So basically it was her playing the victim and not taking ownership for anything.

I ended it with "I feel one way and you feel another way and that is fine. We can just move on. I don't hate you and I'm sure we'll see each other and it doesn't have to be uncomfortable. Let's just give it some time and if you're okay with it we can leave it open if either of us want to talk later down the road. Have a good day."

******

Lying friend also responded back to my last text to her...we are moving forward but I still feel she was a little shady about everything. My guess is she felt caught in the middle but her behavior kind of surprised me so I think that is something to just keep in mind for the future.

Moving on from all of it. I feel like I did and said what needed to be said. Sometimes shitty situations open your eyes and allow you to make better choices for yourself.

Again- THANK YOU for your advice and support. It really truly helped.

zerostepdrama's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

"She did a lot of well if you

"She did a lot of well if you knew me, you would know I am a good friend."

Good friends let other people get to know the real person. They have nothing to hide. Didn't apply to this woman.

Exactly!

Wow, you did a magnificent

Wow, you did a magnificent job of handling the passive agressiveness...!!! I find that when people know where you stand, what you will tolerate and what type boundaries you have, the herd thins itself

Thank you! I feel the same

Thank you! I feel the same way. I learned all about boundaries on this site!

Also learned we have to show

Also learned we have to show people how to treat us. I showed her how I would no longer be treated.

Right! I didn't get the

Right! I didn't get the impression that she was worried about my feelings, more she was worried about how I felt about her and that my feelings were invalid. Does that make sense?

The fact that she started her

The fact that she started her email off to me, lying about the same thing... that just goes to show she is beyond hope.

If she had just said- you are right I do gossip a little much or you are right I was excluding you for reasons x,y,z I could have been like Cool, we can be friends. I would have handled our friendship 100% differently moving forward and at a distance but I would have respected her for at least acknowledging what I said.

"...it was her playing the

"...it was her playing the victim and not taking ownership for anything."

Typical narcissistic behavior, which is what I suspected from the beginning.

I think you handled that perfectly, zero!

Thank you!

"So basically it was her

"So basically it was her playing the victim and not taking ownership for anything."

JFC, this is the crap my MIL pulls on me. Along with the whole "I'm sorry you feel that way" non-apology crap. And I'll tell you, my MIL is definitely a frenemy of mine and a flaming narcissist.

Makes me think of this quote: "There are two things I judge harshly on. The inability for one to admit when they are wrong, and the lack of courage to say "I'm sorry". That tells me all I need to know. Because we are all wrong at some point, but not all of us are sorry".

Good for you for putting it out there to her so eloquently - I'm glad you're moving on.