This is not a failure to launch situation.
I would definitely make sure he's going to therapy to get him to be as much of a functioning adult as possible. If my SK or BKs were working, paying towards bills, going to post high school education, I wouldn't shove them out the door.

If they were being lazy, entitled shits...bye bye.

I would find a group home in that situation. Parents won't be around forever--will eventually need a solution other than living with Mom or Dad--sooner is better than frantically trying to figure something out when the parent dies. The child will be happier in the long by run to feel at least semi-independent.

I would let a child (bio or skid) stay as long as they're contributing to the household and have a good reason to stay (plus a date chosen for when they're moving out).

I don't think it's a huge deal. My stepdad and mom happily took me in when I was 19 without me even asking. I wanted to move 5 hours away to live with my long-distance boyfriend (who is now my husband!) and they said it would be smart for me to move in with them and save up for the cost of moving instead of staying in my apartment.

I took the opportunity because it allowed me to move in with him WAY faster (3 months instead of 6-9 months) because I didn't have any bills to pay - and moving such a long distance was fairly expensive for a 19 year old lol.

Yes for sure. But I would also take in my pregnant 19 year old sd... as long as she is working and helping out around the house. And knows that I will make coffee as much as my heart desires

TBI -- Traumatic Brain Injury -- is a complete deal-changer. On one level such as with your nephew, a gap year used as a chance to heal is a great idea. If working a traditional starter job is too overwhelming at this time, there are lots of nonprofits which would benefit from a youngster offering 20 hours/week. Animal rescue, meals-on-wheels, retirement centers, preschools --- no matter where you live, there is something. It sounds as if a gap year will take some of the pressure off him, allow him to heal a bit more, but does not mean a terminal sentence to the Basement-Of-No-Return. His brain received a number of severe offences and no matter how great the concept of 'neuroplasiticity' is ... it takes time, persistence, hard work and patience to rewire the brain.

That situation is vastly different from supporting and enabling a nuero-typical young adult. Failure-to-launch smacks of child abuse to me --- emotional castration.

Regarding a previous, related post: a functional 19 year old moving back into the family home because she is pregnant and inept? Daddy is intending for her to stay for most of a decade because she and soon-to-be-grandchild need help? {Snort} There has got to be a boatload more to that story.

If my minor BS-15 showed up with a baby? Uhm, yup ... I'd help for awhile until he finished basic schooling. Then, he has to get a job to pay for that baby. College-age BS shows up with a baby? I'll be helping him find an apartment, childcare and a job to pay for it all. SGD-14 shows up with a baby? Dang, shoot ... probably the same and even more since I believe she's a wee bit simple, due to environment and/or maternal drug & alcohol. She will require more support than my bio-son. Clear as a bell.

Painthands, it sounds as if your nephew has a great future ahead. One of my clients was a car accident TBI at 19 and she is now living in her own apartment with minimal aid @ 24, in community college using a walker and a series of supports, but she is freakin' doing it!

You nephew is a different case, if he was my son I would've allowed him to stay put.... no need for an adult pregnant kid to move back, I'm sorry you thought you where an adult and got pregnant, now you can't change back into a child, nope you are an adult.... get your own place and raise your own kid...

this my parents did with me... they still helped me out, looking after Deigma, sometimes financially lol but only bought diapers and formula... not actual cash and never paid for my flat. They bought allot of cloths as well.. Deigma was first grand baby so they spoiled him... which meant I had more cash...

Currently with Deigma.... we are house mates, he still has to obey my house rules, I'm the adult.. humm senior in the house, he pays 50% of all expenses and cleans after himself, do his own laundry etc. Like any house mates will do...
The reason for this - he only finished school last year, now he's working and I might be moving out next year... if things change next year then he will move out, he knows this and we agreed on it.

Aergia will be off to varsity next year, way out of town, I can move back and when she visits on holidays, my house my rules if she does not like it no need for her to come and visit she can stay with BM then.... couple of surprises up my sleeve for princess.... and belief me if Aergia should fall pregnant - she will have to drop out, find a job and get on with her own life, SO's moto, if you think you are an adult and make babies - you will raise them like an adult.

I wouldn't have an issue with someone recuperating in the home... as long as the home was a suitable for the person rehabilitating.

i would let him stay. i have no bios, but the boys are welcome to stay IF they are working part time AND in school. (full time employed would be ok for a few months to save, but they d@mn sure better be making plans to launch quickly) if there is a major health issue, of COURSE they'd be able to stay. this is their home as much as it is mine.

but ablebodied, unemployed, not in school, and not helping out around the house? EFF THAT.

When my sister was 21ish she was on the depo shot and the DR's office screwed up the timing of her shot so there was a period of time where she thought she could be pregnant. She worked full time and was in college. My mom, myself and my sister all worked for the same company at that time, additionally both my sister and I had moved home so we could finish college ( we both worked full time and paid cash for our college educations so it took us a bit longer).

Anyways I remember her telling my parents she was afraid she might be pregnant. My dad told her, not to worry if she was pregnant that as a family we would all help her raise the baby and that everything would be okay. Now my dad is not some mushy kind of guy, he was a recovered alcoholic brick mason who had not been around much when we were kids and had not been the greatest dad back than either. I think his response though was amazing and would have been true, family is family. Thankfully she was not pregnant and now has a master's in business.

If I had a daughter ( thankfully only a son) if she was pregnant I would help her raise a baby so she could continue to to get an education and have an amazing life, I would pay for an abortion if that were her decision so she could go on and get an education and have an amazing life.

God forbid if my son had something happen to him I would do what ever it took to make sure he was able to live the best life possible.

There are a lot of different factors in a step family then a non step family. In a non step family people know who number one, who the wife, who the husband, In a step, first of all something happen to have family break up. That effects the kids. Then you have sides. Our side maybe just you, there side all of old family.
Factor in who is bring in the money, who doing house work, mini wife, mini husbands ,, Some people are so happy SC leaves they don't want them back. People are so happy with alone time, what they may never have before. Don't want to give it up.
There is no right or wrong, one could have compassion and let them move back in. Or on can say, that did adult things ( sex) they can do adult thing ( work and get there own place )
But then again your chrildren, always will be your children. If you are 80 and your child is 60 you are still the parent

Right now I have a good relationship with sd9 and if she needed to live with us in the future then I would be ok with that as long as there was a path towards independence being followed, even if she brought a baby with her. If she was ill, I would be ok with it but again I would want her to have as much independence as possible so if that meant her living in a separate but adjoining apartment or having nurses come and care for her to help with the load then those are steps we would try to work out.

Of course there is the possibility that sd could turn into a shit between now and adulthood, so my answer may not hold in those circumstances but I would certainly try to support my husband in what he wanted to do and work with him to come up with compromises that works for everyone.

In that situation yes because he has a disability and probably wouldn't be able to launch as soon as others.

I used to say after graduation that DS15 would have to move out because SS13 is younger,and I don't want to live with an adult SS. It wouldn't be fair if we didn't boot DS when he graduates (he is almost 3 years older) because when SS graduates I would not want him permitted to just stay and bum.

Now after a few years of me having that opinion, I have changed my mind a little. SS doesn't get on my nerves QUITE as much as he used to, and I could reasonably live with him for a short time after he graduated. This means DS would be able to stay if needed for a little while after graduation too.

I think I would want stipulations that you are in college full time and working part time, or either you are working full time and saving to move out. I probably would want an age or time limit too. I think by 20, they should both be out, and I think that would be more than generous of us.

My fear is having an adult SS living in my basement while not working or even taking classes, playing xbox all day and eating my food. I CANT. I would not be able to live like that and work while someone else just breezed by....