You need a nebulizer. SD's Dr can prescribe one, that way she has a back up to the rescue inhaler. Also the allergy med switch could have something to do with the asthma attack.

Also check with your vet or groomer to see what they might be able to suggest to help.

Your son is no more important to you than DH's daughter is to him. He may give you the same response. Bear, your son and you can go live _____ before he gets rid of his daughter, she is important to him than your son.

You know, that really works both ways. He wants to be involved daily and parent his daughter. You want to allow your son to keep the dog which is necessary to son's mental well being (per what you've previously stated). The 'solution' may have to be separate houses.

DH is pissed and blaming the dog because the allergy meds didn't work as well as they were supposed to? What part of his daughter having an allergy to the animal did he miss? Or was it the part where allergy medicine is not magic and doesn't work 100% of the time. Or the part where there's a f*cking epidemic going around? Sh*t in my house alone we've been sick with one thing or another since New Year's with chest colds. DH and I have been taking turns sleeping in the recliners holding BS2 and BS4 because they keep twisting around on the elevated mattresses and it's the only way for them to sleep through the night.

If the allergy meds are truly not working, then for SD's health and safety she needs to either live with her mother in the other state, or she and DH need to live separately from you, BS, and Bear. But I would wait and see what the allergist says on Monday.

A friend of mine just lost her daughter to an asthma attack. Hospitalized for days and she never came home. You're being selfish with this girl's health. I agree with your husband. Human's before animals.

Allergies can directly and indirectly cause bronchitis. If your sd doesn't have a bacteria/virus infection. Than the allergens is probably the direct cause.

It can also indirectly cause it by lowering the immune system because it is busy trying to "fight" the allergens.

Allergetic bronchitis could be a chronic disease. Which is a bit worrisome.

Your sd have asthma and her dad expose her to an allergen? Is the asthma thing a new development. That would be very understandable if it was a new development. I think common literature says it is best to not own pets if you are allergic and suffer from asthma attacks. But I may be wrong. Good that you are going to book the allergist appointment. I can tell that you do care about your sd. Guess the choice your household is going to have to make is between your sd physical health and your son mental health. I feel like if you send your sd away your husband may resent you Because he is still blaming bear. And will see it as you choosing a dog over his daughter.

Asthma is deadly. You should find somewhere else for the dog to stay for a week or two until the allergy test results are known. Then a more permanent decision can be made when everyone has the full facts. Until then, unless you want a dead kid in your house, send the dog to a friend/relative or kennel.

Do not play with fire.

DH and SD should move out. SD shouldn't have to struggle to breathe in her own home.

This would be such a different thread if the OP was mom to the child with breathing issues and the step child was the one with a dog.

The dog and the sd need to live separately asap. Possibly it will be temporary if an allergist can confirm that the dog is not the cause of the attacks. If it turns out that the dog is the cause of the attacks you and your husband would be extreamly negligent to continue letting the dog and the girl live in the same house. We can all have opinions about who needs to move (my vote is the dog), but ultimately it is up to your husband and you to reach a compromise. If you two cannot reach a compromise you are going to have either a very sick, possibly dead sd on your hands and/or divorce papers in your hands.

1)Allergist ASAP!

Until the above happens...

a) Thorough cleaning of the entire house, paying specific attention to registers (if they exist), filters, carpets, and bedding. Hire a specialist in this kind of cleaning, if necessary.

b) Make sure SD's room is an animal free zone

c) Have dog professionally groomed, and ask the vet about topical treatments that aid in reducing shedding/allergies ON the pet. Yes, they do exist. Keep pet groomed regularly.

d) Make sure any vehicle the dog travels in, has been thoroughly cleaned as well. Moving forward, use one vehicle for dog, and one where dog hasn't been for SD.

e) Purchase whole house air filter, and purchase one for each of the kids rooms. Don't skimp, they can be pricey.

f) Consider having safe zones in the house where the dog doesn't spend time so that SD isn't coming in to constant contact with allergens.

Having it all ways will take extra time, but it can be done.

As an aside, it is possible that SD will slowly become less allergic as her body builds up a tolerance to this specific dog. It doesn't mean she's cured of her allergies, just that her body can adjust over time.

Good luck with this perplexing problem.

You need to be careful with air purifiers. Many produce ozone and that can trigger asthmatic reactions.

This sounds like a difficult no-win situation; either the boy is emotionally traumatised by losing his dog or the girl risks further health issues because of her allergy. Both parents are obviously going to put their own kids' needs first and that's perfectly natural. My bd had a dog from age 10 which was her best friend and helped her through some traumatic and horrible times during her adolescence. Although the dog wasn't officially a therapy dog, separating them wouldn't have been an option for my bd's mental health and I would never have even considered it. Luckily, when I met dh, there were no problems and when he moved in with his 3 boys, they all bonded with the dog too and were just as devastated when she passed away at 13 as me and my daughter were. If there had been an issue, rather than re-home my daughter's best friend and put her through more emotional torment, I would happily have lived in separate houses until the dog either died or left home with my bd, and sadly that may be the only option in this case.
Sounds like the best thing is to see what the doctors have to say, find out whether there is medication which will safely control her allergy and remove the risk of future asthma attacks and if they cannot guarantee this, maybe think about separate homes for the time being. Not ideal for you and your dh but at least you'd both be doing the best for your respective kids' wellbeing.

This dog is very important to DS and is a friend etc that's no doubt is very important.

But I would not call him therapy dog. It's incorrect. My friend has therapy dog, trained and registered. She takes her to hospitals abd other facilities where people need it. It. It creates many confusions to people when non therapy dogs are being brought to places and refered to "therapy dogs" when they are pets.

It's like if I help my friends in hardships I'd be reffered to as "therapist". I am not

Saying all that perhaps SD needs different meds and needs to see a specialist

Granny you left out option 4- husband and daughter can move out.

I'd move out with my kid if that was my situation. If I was a dad I mean. If two households are too much, I'd file for divorce. In my
opinion it's no different when women are willing to sacrifice everything to keep a man. Here a guy is sacrificing his daughter to keep a woman. I am not saying get rid of a dog. Let mom, dog, and BS all stay. Dad and his kid move on. That's what I would do

I really hope that you and DH find a solution.

You both love your children and want them to be healthy and happy. Neither child and their needs is more important than the other but in a family sometimes sacrifices have to be made. I hope the sacrifices that you and DH agree on don't create resentment and tear your family apart.

My neice is deathly allergic to cats and dogs, her brother had a dog that kept his anxiety at bay (they are not a step or blended family).
They had to remove the dog from the house, they tried allergy meds, they tried cleaning and grooming, nothing worked. Their son was very resentful. He felt abandoned by his whole family and his anxiety ramped up.
They even talked about living separately Mom with him and the dog, Dad with her and no dog.

In the end they got a ton of therapy, the son got a hedgehog to comfort him and they got through it.

When you met and dated and then got engaged, have you ever discussed that DS must have a dog, SD is allergic to dogs etc?

When DH and I got serious we discussed what's going to happen with our living arrangements should we get married, that conversation included talking about his cat. And we don't have kids at home and aren't allergic. How come none of it was discussed?

Frankly if I had child allergic to pets and my date said if we marry we must have a dog, I'd never continued dating and marrying etc Why wasn't it discussed?

I didn't read all of the responses.

I have asthma. I also have 2 dogs. Has this child gotten allergy testing to confirm that she is allergic to pet dander? If not, that needs to happen first.

It could be many things causing the attack, so your husband shouldn't automatically blame the dog.

She also may need a nebulizer, so you can treat attacks at home. She may need a med adjustment, I had a hard time on powdered inhalers and do better on Qvar, for example. Also, singulair helps a lot of people and is taken in pill form.

There are plenty of options before jumping to having to rehome the dog. Plenty of asthmatics have dogs, myself included.

Libbie, Are you actually married and is he able to afford his own place, as you said he moved in with you.

So, I guess all those SMS that moved into their DHs house should just shut up about the kids complaining about something since it's their DHs house and not theirs.

My kid nearly died from asthma, was transferred to three different hospitals by ambulance because they couldn't control him and his lungs were so enlarged they were crushing his heart. He is allergic to dogs. I swear to god if my partner put a dog before my son, service or not, I would leave you because it is selfish. Give the dog to grandma where the BS can visit it, but I would leave you anyway.

All the allergy talk for Monday. I thought the pet dander had already been established. Per the OP's first blog"

"Sd has an allergy to pet dander and it is verified. They recommended (the first allergist) she take allergy meds but she doesn't like the side effects. Some give her itchy hives (I understand that) but others make her tired and have a dry mouth so she refuses to take them. She has also fake passed out in the street and was almost ran over by a car so no dr will say she should take allergy meds. No one wants to risk the lawsuit. We fought with her but due to her severe reactions to Bear and her fake passing out dh allows her to stay with his parents every other week for visitation and he goes there. We tried to do the allergy shot but no allergist will administer them because sd passes out when given a needle poke. I'm not kidding. Down she goes. Dh says she has done this since she was a young child. "

If it was verified , how was this done without allergen test via the testing process?

!

If this is a pure pet situation it is time for Bear to go. No pet should trump a child's health.

As a long time sufferer of allergies and having survived severe childhood asthma (many trips to the Denver childhood asthma hospital) I would never make a pet a priority over a child's health.

If Bear is a service dog that injects an entirely different level of complexity into the decision IMHO. Even then..... a physical threat to a child's health may trump the positive additions of a service dog. That there are two children at risk in this situation, one for breathing issues and one for psychological issues, makes it that much harder of a decision.

If the SD's issues are not sever asthma related then there may be some wiggle room on this issue moving forward.

This is a difficult situation for all involved.

libbie -

Bear stays x million
SD can move out...

animals can not cause Bronchitis...

BM was begging DH to let SD come with her and he said no. Yet he never ensured that child is safe in his home and didn't even inform BM that girl had to be in ER. It's really a terrible story all together. This girl abd her health aren't a priority. Unbelievable

Well, Libbie, what was the verdict? How did the trip to the dr. go?