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$250 fine and back in the stores - Winona update

CLove's picture

SD17, caught stealing MAKEUP SPONGES from JcPenny and banned from the chain for 1 year. The fine is $250, to be split between the two parents. So, after SD17 watches her gma a few times, she gets about $60, does she follow her fathers instructions and give up the money to help pay the fine?

NO!!!! SHE GOES TO THE FREAKING STORE. My dear SO is pissed. Why? Because the idiot BM took her to the store to buy more HAIR FREAKING DYE. She is one of those kids that likes to change her hair color every few days, and right now has half black and half blonde and thinks she is really really cool and different.

So, after telling my SO "that really sux sweetie, but what you going to do about it, what is repercussions/punishment??" and then hearing about how he hasn't paid her cell phone so he cant give her an earful (he found out about this via the BM) and that her room door is NEVER coming off, and even though she begs to come over, on her mothers day, she is NOT coming over tonight. Well, this is a good test of my new disengagement resolution, isn't it?

Oh boy, do I feel like ranting tonight. I don't want to have to bite my lip and NOT go off about it. I will simply have to keep quiet when I feel like screaming/shouting/laughing/drinking.
I told him - "wow - BM is NOT doing her daughter ANY favors right now - it is just moving in a real negative direction. What the hey was she thinking? How stupid can a persn actually be?" and finally "read the documentation, find out what would happen if you did NOT pay it...find out who is responsible...chances are that she can do some community service..." but before I go home I really need to talk myself down and really not say anything more.

And just the other day, SO was saying that I need to just "let it go, I am feeling too strongly about this, and she is not THAT kind of person" when I expressed concern that she had his credit card number and can use it to pay for things online. Oh well, just kill the messenger right? I am so mad at the BM right now. Not only did she not back up my SO in his requiring the giving up of money for fines incurred during a shoplifting spree, she took the little Sh!t to a TARGET. Blast it. And now I am the bad guy for pointing out that fact. That he SHOULD right now, go give her a piece of his mind. OK. Well, I will not get into it again, not one more evening spoiled by the little biotch. Whom I cannot stand. Who breathes and it irritates me. Who sings and its like nails down the chalkboard. Who stinks so badly that having the door off her room is torturous, like stepping into a garbage can of putridly toxic gaseous garbage.

Ok, time to go home and pour a glass or two.

Comments

CLove's picture

Thanks, Charlie. three it is. And none the wiser. he tells me, gee, it wasn't flagrant disregard for his authority, when she went to store today, and spent the money that should have been used for fines, instead of giving it to her mother, and that BM did nothing wrong, she's just stupid. WOW. And he had children with this woman, and I am with someone who would have children with a woman like that and actually have children like this.

Charlie, my family had a business that I worked at every weekend since the age of 14 to age of 18, when I got a job at a pizza place, making pizzas and washing dishes. My brother worked there as well. Obviously she's too good to have a job. Actually she did try - she was hired at a candy store and fired 2 weeks later. I suspect she was stealing. Her ONE job. EVER. oooooh, Im steaming like a pile of clams in butter and wine, with shallots. Sorry - trying to be funny, but its not working Biggrin

Yes, I wonder who would get into hot water if her fine were not paid. But, like you said - denial. And again you are right - let it go!

Thanks!

CLove's picture

I do white. Local Chardonnay, which is fab.

She's half Asian, half Caucasian, so she has super thick hair, which is ruined by over bleaching, and breaks off, so its really scraggly.

So funny - Ive asked SO what he saw in BM, and he said after a while it was staying around because of the kids. I think her cheating provided a good excuse to get out.

Charlie - thanks for your support - and yes, I have wasted SO MUCH TIME thinking and stressing and worrying, its such a bad waste of time!!!! And energy. That's why its great to be able to vent, and get it out, so it doesn't build and fester.

CLove's picture

LOL. I bring it up because I feel like I need to know what is happening in my own home (she's there 50% of the time, and wants to live with us full time after graduation. She THINKS she is going to live with us full time after graduation.) But yea, we don't really talk about her much, because it always ends in an argument and I don't want the spoiled brat to ruin a positive relationship. And yeah, he can be a jerk every now and again, just when it comes to the skids.

Acratopotes's picture

SD has DH's credit card number :jawdrop: :jawdrop: how to resolve this... easy, SO gave Aergia his credit card to holiday on, I am still pissed off..... waited till he took Aergia somewhere on Sunday and I went into the house to get my last stuff (huge fight over the week-end)

I saw her handbag on the desk, opened it and took his credit card out - I know he told her if she loose it she will not have the privileged again... and usually he keeps his word... I took the card with me back to my house and cut it into 100 pieces, he told me this morning Aergia lost his card and now he needs to go into the bank, get a new one blablablabla and believe me it's not easy in this country }:)

Maybe you should simply do the same, then DH has to get another card and SD does not have the number???

but yes... drink more then 2 glasses and if you really want to feel good, strip her room and only leave her a bed... that can be the consequences and punishment......

CLove's picture

Acratopotes - fabulous idea!!! But of course that would be me being the bad guy. Im going to let her dig her own hole with father dearest, and see if she proves him right. If she proves him wrong, then I get the last laugh. Either way - win/win!

That made me smile - cut the card, so daughter dearest is to blame for losing it.

Well, hopefully the fight was NOT about skids. Good luck.

Acratopotes's picture

CLove - you simply take DH's credit card and cut it into pieces.... if he starts looking for it, innocently says, No idea dear, you had it last.... then after a day you say, maybe we should cancel it and get a new one.... card fraud is terrible!!!!

@Granny - yes the big fight was about the precious little snow flake........ SO exploded cause I did not put my hair drier away, I neatly hanged it on the hook .... not put in a cupboard... but his precious snowflakes panties are all over his bathroom, she did not clean the bath tub, her bathroom is to dirty to walk in and her room is a disaster zone and smells like crap..... but I was screamed at to put my effing hair drier away.... I exploded... he's still sucking up and I'm still ignoring...

EDIT: We planned for me to spend week-end there and not go home, blablablabla I took a couple off stuff over to make it comfortable , well guess what was there from Friday till sunday, I removed it all again

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I don't understand a parent giving kids their credit card number. I wouldn't give that information to even the most trustworthy child. What kind of lesson is this teaching for the future?

Acratopotes's picture

I have a very trustworthy nim witt boy......

seeing he's 21 I though give him the pin numbers cause I send him allot to the shops... when he gets to the pay point I get a call... MA what's your pin....

I swear if certain body parts was not attached to his body he would've forgotten where he left it as well

Peridwen's picture

I still have a credit card under my parents' account, and I'm married with kids. I also know better than to EVER use it unless there is an emergency. My parents wanted to make sure none of their children ever had to deal with a bad situation due to lack of funds. However we were raised to know stealing is wrong, and even as an teen I knew my dad would kill me if I used that card for anything other than an emergency. And that's if there was anything left after my mom got through with me.

I think that's the difference here though, parenting. OP's SD was not raised to respect her parents or think about consequences.

Stepped in what momma's picture

If there is an emergency that you need access to someone else's credit card you normally call and ask for guidance/help. I wouldn't give my kid my CC number or a card to my account.

CLove's picture

EXACTLY. No Consequences have ever been given. Until recently: door off room, phone bill not paid, no fun excursions with us, no treats and no more rides from MOI-SELF.

All this time I have never had an answer for when she starts whining about DAAADDDEEEE choosing Girlfriend over daughter - well, how about respect, and him backing me up, daughter dearest.

CLove's picture

AM I bad for finding it amusing that SD17 hit her head last night coloring her hair, after the shower head broke off and clunked her??????? Talk about Karma truck hitting hard!!!!

}:) }:) }:)

All those times I shed tears because she obviously despised me, and resented me... all the arguments and stress over HER SORRY BUTT.
Now that I have disengaged, I get divine retribution...