Uneven christmas spending update
Just wanted to update everyone...I talked to DH before Christmas and he was not too sympathetic about it. Any time we talk about money it is always the same, he doesn't agree with how I spend my money and says if I took his advice I would be better off, and we both leave the discussion thankful we don't need the others input on our budgets.
Afrer that was over he said that's life, some people get more and some people get less. He was not going to get less presents for his kids because I didn't want to get more presents for my kid. We did come to a compromise we can live with though. We had his kids from 1230 on Christmas day. The kids opened 8 presents each because that is how many my son had. Then we all had dinner and then my parents and my son and I went to the movies and the stepkids opened the other 30 presents under the tree while we were gone. It wasn't a perfect solution but it was better than sitting there for an hour with no presents for my son to open. My son really liked his bike and was very appreciative!
Presents are still coming in the mail for stepkids. I think from our side alone it's over 30 presents each :jawdrop:
- DeeBee74's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Her son got $400 worth of
Her son got $400 worth of gifts. He is privileged, too.
It's in her first blog. I
It's in her first blog. I cannot understand the outrage.
It's not hard to hit hat
It's not hard to hit hat number at all.
A game system, games, phone, boots, coat and clothes will have you there in no time.
DH makes much more than what
DH makes much more than what I make (60s) but we split based on income so I am paying my fair share of expenses. Its about the same as what I was paying before we lived together.
Then you should have plenty
Then you should have plenty of money to splurge on your son if you want to. :?
My son gets about $400 total.
My son gets about $400 total. DH spend 1500 on each of his kids, his parents spend another 500 each and BMs side spend almost as DHs side.
I agree 400 is plenty for christmas but imagine you are the kid and see your stepsiblings get 10 times as much. I wish we could agree on a set amount.
If your son got 8 gifts worth
If your son got 8 gifts worth 400 I then really don't understand the issue. That's way more than I ever considered spending and I am making g decent money. That's more than enough imho
$400 worth of gifts is great,
$400 worth of gifts is great, but I don't think that's the issue. The issue is the "in your face" nature of the disparity in the same house. No one wants to sit around watching others open 38 gifts while you only have 8.
He sounds like a jerk if you
He sounds like a jerk if you ask me.
Would you really be saying
Would you really be saying this if it was flipped? Would you really expect a sm to change her Christmas traditions?
That jerk takes her and her kid on vacations.
We are supposed to ignore the
We are supposed to ignore the fact that The Jerk is fully funding vacations throughout the year for the kid and the OP.
The vast majority of posters here (myself included) would say hello no to a SM footing the bill in order for her SKs to go on vacation.
Thirty plus presents? For
Thirty plus presents? For each skid?? I find that disgusting. Those skids are being prepped for a lifetime of entitlement and unhappimess.
Wow, that is a lot of gifts.
Wow, that is a lot of gifts. I must be getting super cheap in my old age!
Did the OP ever say why she
Did the OP ever say why she won't work a 2nd job (during the summer or holiday season)in order to be able to spend more on her son?
I'm glad you came to a
I'm glad you came to a compromise. I think that's about the best you will find in this situation.
Out of curiosity, what do you spend on that he disagrees with?
Why so much focus on material
Why so much focus on material things
That's something I wouldn't
That's something I wouldn't be able to put up with... It says a lot about the kind of person he is. I don't have any bios, but I make most of the money in our household and spend $400 on my SD no problem. She's a kid and she deserves a good christmas. Before we were married/shared money, my DH was fairly broke and I made good money, but even then, I couldn't watch a kid in my household open a couple crappy gifts. I always made sure she'd have exactly what my own kids would have on christmas morning... And when we do have an "ours" baby, it'll remain equal no matter what.
I understand not sharing finances in a relationship/marriage and having different priorities, but kids are kids and they shouldn't be made to feel like second class citizens on holidays no matter WHAT agreement the parents have about money. Personally, any child living under MY roof is living the same standards as I and any future bios I have am. If I wasn't capable of that, I wouldn't be a step parent.