Totally OT, need personal advice
This is not step related... but I just don't trust my current emotions and reactions so I wanted the advice of you wise women.
Background- I run an animal welfare nonprofit. I'm the founder and it's been my life and passion for 15+ years. I've poured my heart and soul into this nonprofit, and at this point my organization is very successful. I employ a young lady, whom I adore, who is in charge of directing all of the animal care. Let's call her A. A does her job duties exceptionally well, but in the past she has had issues sleeping with other employees and volunteers which causes drama and people quitting or leaving when shit goes south between them. She has been counseled on not doing this. She has also been counseled on not lying to me when she does this. Otherwise, she's been an exceptional employee for a few years, and I consider her a friend.
Last month I offered A an opportunity to achieve one of her life dreams by opening a new division of the nonprofit, having her be one of the founding members, and putting her in charge of it. This new division is what her life dream is, and I basically handed her dream job to her on a silver platter.
Now- So I find out through volunteers that A has been sleeping with one of our service providers for the animals. Lets call him B. B is not an employee of the nonprofit directly, but he is someone whose services we use weekly and pay him for as a subcontractor. Think, like a veterinarian (but he's not a vet, but it's very close) He has worked for the nonprofit for 15 years. I know his wife and family and consider them all friends. B is a little of a he-whore and years ago I told him he is never to "shop" in my organization because I refuse to be put in the middle and I will not lie for him.
Apparently A and B have been seeing each other secretly for about a year, and a few weeks ago B left his wife and kids and A and B got a place together. A has told a few volunteers, and asked them to keep this info secret from me.
I'm devastated because:
#1- I feel betrayed that A has lied by omission (she knows I would not approve)
#2- I feel like A and B have put me a tough spot of split loyalties. I know his wife, and she doesn't deserve to be lied to.
#3- I am furious that A is asking volunteers to keep secrets from me within MY OWN ORGANIZATION.
#4- I have trusted A like my right hand, and I feel like my right hand just slapped me in the face.
#5- A has been warned to keep her romantic and sexual escapades out of the organization because she leaves a wake of destruction in her path, and I feel she will never stop her behavior.
So here is my issue-
30% of me feels like A is an employee and her sexual life is none of my business and I shouldn't be upset.
70% of me feels like A is actively destroying my business by her sexual antics, is lying, and is not to be trusted so I should get rid of her now.
Right now I want to fire both A and B and be rid of them.
Input? Points of view?
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Comments
Right now with their specific
Right now with their specific situation I can't say it has affected anyone but me. However, A's behavior as a whole has had a negative affect. When she and the flavor of the month break up, the flavor of the month leaves. And sometimes that poor flavor of the month was a really good volunteer.
Hey, has Babyface tried to
Hey, has Babyface tried to make his debut yet???
B is an independent
B is an independent contractor so I can fire him at any time. It would be no different that you deciding to take your dog to a new vet.
A has an employee manual which states relationships within the organization are "highly discouraged". Luckily the state I am in is an "at-will" employment state. A could try to fight it, but she wouldn't get far. And I don't think she is the type to try.
70% of me feels like A is
70% of me feels like A is actively destroying my business by her sexual antics, is lying, and is not to be trusted
Not to be trusted is key. She is obviously a woman without integrity, morals, or character, and I doubt that pertains to only her sex life.
She has no respect for you, as you've talked to her about this before and she not only ignores your warning but gets other people involved in the deception. Not what I would consider a great employee OR a friend.
Remove A from your life in
Remove A from your life in every way.
I had to remove a close friend that I adored (she was like a sister to me). But she cheated on her DH (also my friend) using me as an excuse and embezzled money from another friend where I'd gotten her a job.
I actually missed her as she was so much fun. But people like that just end up bringing you down over and over again.
Thanks for all that you do
Thanks for all that you do for animals, furkids. You are my hero! And I'm so sorry this young woman has chosen to repay your mentorship in such a crappy way. It must be painful for you.
That said, I'm sure you know non-profits have to be very, very careful about their reputation and the way in which the public perceives them. Where I live (also an at will state), the animal rescue community is tightknit, and gossip is rife. A large, well respected disaster animal rescue went out of business after word got out about the fiscal misconduct of ONE employee. Scandal and rumor are the last thing you need, so you need to be crafty and take the long view.
Strategize with a labor law attorney before acting. Consider terminating employment for something justifiable, yet mundane - and don't let both go at the same time. Companies often restructure, implement cost-cutting strategies, etc, right? Do you have qualified replacements ready?
The best solution is one that eliminates the problem employees without even mentioning their adulterous, sneaky, discord fomenting conduct.
What about counseling her
What about counseling her about the behavior and following up with written acknowledgement of the final warning; knowing that she will 99% most likely resign?
And the employee handbook is being updated post haste. This is why I think she will resign. She will be embarrassed that everyone will know (even without words) that the policy change is because of her. We're an 8 person team... not many secrets stay in the closet.
I'm trying very very hard to keep the personal feeling of betrayal out of it and think about it in a strictly business sense. But my god it hurts. I've poured my heart into this kid, and she swore she would never lie to me again.
I'm not exactly sure how I'm
I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to "not address" one employee systematically sleeping her way through the entire organization. In my opinion, since the wording is addressed in the employee manual of not disturbing the work environment, I feel it is fair game to counsel her the impact her personal life is having in the workplace. It's a final warning. It does not say to not see her current guy, just that she is to stop using the organization as a dating opportunity. And the same rule will now apply to everyone.
But I will ask an attorney. A few years ago we consulted an attorney about firing a male employee who seemed to like to prey upon some of our younger (but legal) and naive volunteers. I was told fire him on the spot, it's at will employment. But I will ask again.
SueU2, this question was posed to me today by a friend, and I think it bears considering:
If the employee were a male who was systematically sleeping their way through my barn, would I fire him? Yes, for disgusting predatory behavior and taking advantage of his position. I find it curious that I hesitate only because this employee is female and her victims are older.
Thanks anotherstep... No
Thanks anotherstep...
No worries on the financial end. What she does she has no access to funding. She is animal care and management only.
And we have rock solid financial accounting... a book keeper does the books, the Treasurer must double check the book keepers numbers, our tax guy checks both of them quarterly, and annually an independent auditor checks EVERYONE. You couldn't steal a dime from this place and not get caught!
I just read your comment 15
I just read your comment 15 times. I don't see any kind of slip.
As usual, sueu2 is blowing smoke - and nothing else.
"Last month I offered A an
"Last month I offered A an opportunity to achieve one of her life dreams by opening a new division of the nonprofit, having her be one of the founding members, and putting her in charge of it. This new division is what her life dream is, and I basically handed her dream job to her on a silver platter. "
What happens to your own hard work and dream of this successful non-profit of your creation when she-whore and he-whore start cheating and sleeping around on each other? It's bound to happen. Both of them picking through the staff/volunteers/clientele and he or she discovers she or he. Would everything you've built putting your heart and soul into come crashing down?
Fur, thanks for all you do
Fur, thanks for all you do for the furry, four-legged children. My sister is a vet and also volunteers her services to spay and neuter. I have great admiration for those who take the time to care for animals - especially since there are horrid people out there who abuse and torture the poor darlings.
Are there others who can/will provide the same services as this vendor? Get one ASAP.
I do agree that you cannot let this be known as a personal issue for you. Definitely contact the lawyer and pour over that handbook and look for any WORK-related thing that is a reason to let A go.
It was suggested you have another person start working with A who will gradually take over some, then all, of her abilities. While it sounds good, it may be something that will take longer than is comfortable for you. Please contact the lawyer ASAP.
Again, thank you for what you do! All of my fur babies are/were rescues. {{{hugs}}}
Never get your bread and meat
Never get your bread and meat in the same place or you end up eating a shit sandwich.
I would fire her as she clearly doesn't respect you or think you have a backbone.
I have fired a few people for having sex with other employees and vendors. If her sex could effect your business then you have every right to fire here.
Plus if they are living
Plus if they are living together then they have to expect to get caught any second now.
Please update us on what
Please update us on what happens.