Hung Up on A Dream
Last night I could not sleep for the nighmares. I did get up and do my ten and a half hours of sesseion with clients.
We all have our versions of dreams. The Zombies captured it best in their song of this name. You can step it into anytime you like. Maybe being a therapist is much like watching someone awake from sleep and rooting for them, hoping as they blink they untangle their dreams and nightmares and step fully into wakedness.
So tonight I listen to the Zombies, Hung Up on A Dream. It is the song my husband and I walked down the grassy isle through after we were married.
I love horror movies and the Paranormal Activity ones, all three are pretty good. So I can keep myself awake ok, even better than before because every sound, every silence is a freaky demon creature : ) For anyone who may not know I am kidding, I am, for the record, kidding. But the cats did scare the crap out of me last night when they were chasing each other around and one bumped the candelabra, and all the little glass chimneys clinked. I did bolt upright at that.
My husband and I were supposed to leave for a conference in the next few days. Airline tickets bought, hotel reserved, no clients scheduled, my stump dick ex taking care of my kids, grandma coming to the house to pay attention to the animals and essentially give pee more freedom to move around with his friends, of which there are now many : )
Two things happened today. They have roots, so I'll probably digress and never really get around to my point.
One from a place I expected, princess, and one I did not, my sister.
So let's go easiest first. When my husband and his two kids were to move here, it made sense in my mind that pee would get the cool downsairs pad. He is the younger one, the one who is here everyday. princess was already in dorm, wanted a flop house for the weekends. I reached my fill of her, told her she will not return to my house. It has taken three months and pee having to get princess's permission, which was never hers to grant, but I like his chivalry, to get the ok to move downstairs. It makes sense. The bathroom he uses is down there, she already destroyed it with her filth, he does endless laundry, the machines are down there.
When I got home from work at 10:30 tonight after my ten and a half hours with folks, he happened to be in the kitchen. Each week that goes by he is a happier guy, a guy who does more and more stuff with friends, a guy who finally wants a secret exit out of the house to have nighttime shennanigans with friends. Jesus, normal teen stuff. Now he just needs a girlfriend
princess has ignored her father since she moved out in January. She has been thoughtful enough to exploit elderly relatives for money so her dumb ass did not have to work. Then, suddenly, today, oooh la la, princess communicates!!! Oh, sweetie honey, what do you wish to say? She sends some cell phone picture of her dumb arm reaching out to caress big dumb louie while he sleeps so adorably by the laptop computer she still has not paid us for. So my husband, on his guard, texts, cute picture, how are you? She waits six hours, texts him back that she's been working eight hours a day everyday wiping ass, etc. princess wants to know how EVERYONE in the house is doing?
This on the heels of it becoming apparent to us that she has been feeding her mother, my husband's ex, information about my clinic and finances that have spurned that old prune to go after my resources. So he says, Fine, what's up.
The other leg of this is my sister. She sists in a front and center spot at my clinic and she went behind my back to stir things up witht the therapists. Why, I don't know because like so many people with an employee mentality, she does not seem to understand, you hurt the business, you hurt yourself. I fired her tonight, I cannot tell you how devastating that is. I thought if anyone would uphold the clnic, family would. It ain't necessarily so. I had to recount to myself with my husband, understand is this me or is this not me? I had no issues with anyone until the clinic became profitable. Since then, I have had problems with people associated with my business in spades. Things like greed do exist. Things like envy do exist.
So I am not going to the conference. No way is princess taking advantage of five days at this house without myself or my husband presnet. I now have to run the clinic.
princess did not respond to his question. You see, he was not playing by her rules. He said, she doesn't know what to do because I'm not falling all over her. Yeah, hon, I think you're right.
We are all hung up on dreams I think.
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