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Enabling DH

DontCallMeStepmom16's picture

Submitted by DontCallMeStepmom16 on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 2:23pm

Anybody else out there have a teenage SD that is the most manipulative, lying, theiving, SELF CENTERED, passive aggressive, spoiled brat person that you have ever met? And add that DH sees NO WRONG at all? Ugh...the wind that it takes out of my sails is unbelievable. I get she's daddy little girl. I get she's little miss princASS do no wrong. I get it.

My "problem" isn't even with her so much. It's my DH. Been together for 4 years and anything I bring up, I'm made out to be the bad guy and makes that protection shield he has around her get thicker. She doesn't do a chore (which all our kids do 1 a week) and Daddy says "I know your busy, but this will take you 10 minutes and you should have had it done yesterday." She gets up CRYING HER EYES out to go do it. Poor baby. She's 16 years old for #+*^% sake!

Last week she posted on his Facebook wall a video about daddy I love you blah blah blah. I HATE to say it, but MY FIRST thought was, wonder what she wants. Guess what. Next morning she asked him to take her to the mall to get her prom dress. BINGO. But princASS would never have motives like this.

She stinks. I don't even say anything about that or how her room looks like an episode of hoarders. Every. Single. Day. Again, I'm always made out to be the bad guy so I don't say much anymore. Heaven forbid this snot nose sixteen year old grow up to be a lady.

PLEASE tell me there are others out there that not only want to ring their skids neck, but their spouses neck as wel!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

Comments

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 3:19pm

lol! I was out over the weekend, and happened upon all kinds of crazy duct tape in the craft aisle at Target. I sooooooooooooo wanted to buy all the foo foo girly ones and give them to ASS for his birthday.

I bought a bag of Cadbury Eggs for myself instead.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 2:36pm

Sounds like you are describing my SD17 to a t... the pigsty, the lies, the manipulation.. all of it! Thankfully DH caught on to her lies and manipulation and started calling her out on her shit. She didn't like that of course and then she'd run off to BM and GBM who would poo poo her and give her what she wanted.

The only sanity I got was I finally realized I just had to sit back and wait for the train to wreck. Because if I dared ever point out to DH... "Hey, I think that the train is going to derail if something isn't done" We'd get in a fight, I was the asshole that didn't like skids etc. So I just sat back and let her hang herself, and hang herself she did.. and then some.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 2:36pm

Anybody else out there have a teenage SD that is the most manipulative, lying, theiving, SELF CENTERED, passive aggressive, spoiled brat person that you have ever met?

Waving my hand here. She's now 19 and I no longer point out her manipulations to DH. It's painful to him and I really don't want to hear his excuses for her.

over step's picture

Submitted by over step on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 3:34pm

Puke(SD16) has daddy so snowed that he will believe anything she tells him. Even when he finds out she's lied to him, he either defends her or shrugs it off. DH is terrified to make Puke do anything she doesn't want to for fear she will cut him off. She tells him to jump and he asks how high. Her room is always a disaster when she is here but daddy is responsible for making sure it's clean when she leaving and for any destruction she does to her room.

I say absolutely nothing about her any more because I too was the bad guy and poor Puke was being picked on. He's not oblivious to her bad behavior but would rather keep his head in the sand then to change it.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 3:36pm

here's an insight dh gave me yesterday -

he lets a LOT of things go with kaos, it leaves me absolutely incredulous most of the time. and when i bring up the behavior, he gets defensive more often than not because he feels like he just got gut-punched by me. i dont remember the exact way he worded this, but pretty much the jist is he just doesnt care, he just wants to survive until the kid moves out and has a life of his own. but what i say strikes a nerve, cuz i'm his partner and he takes it that much harder and more seriously, so i can really hit hard and deep without that being my intention.

i know it's difficult, and i have plenty of weak moments too, but disengage and just let him handle her however he's going to. u've got two more years until she graduates, that's just a drop in the bucket. (and yes, i'm aware this shit doesnt stop at the magical age of 18, but i'm sure it'll be mentally easier when she's not up in your face as much).

onstrike's picture

Submitted by onstrike on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 5:24pm

Oh yes! Sd9 is a slob, whines, looks slovenly, manipulates, fakes injury, talks back,baby talks,sucks on ice cubes and makes the most annoying sounds doing it.. I could go on and on. Yuck! Never going to be anything close to a lady!!

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 9:09pm

There is nothing wrong with being the bad guy. It is all about perspective. Someone has to be the dose of reality in this girls life. If DH goes off on you just tell him that in the big wide world no one is going to give a rats arse if she lives or dies. His coddling her and treating her like a little snowflake only makes her future more painful. HE is making her future painful, not you.

Continue being the bad guy. I love being the bad guy. As my mother said when I had to play the wicked stepmother in a school re-inactment of Snow White .. "The baddie always gets the best lines..."

Cajunmomma's picture

Submitted by Cajunmomma on Mon, 03/21/2016 - 10:59pm

Well ladies I have double the trouble!!!!! Sd13 aka greaser and ss10. So does everything his sister tells him to do, followng in her wonderful footsteps. They are both hibitual liars master manipulators and Dh does not hold either accountable for their actions. It's got so bad with their lying I installed cameras throughout my home just to cover my ass! If our other halves would take off their rose colored glasses to see what's really going on. Maybe we won't keep getting the blame for their children's issues.