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no friends for you :)

Step-monster89's picture

SD10 wants an out of state friend to stay all week next week for spring break. DH asked for my opinion on the matter. I of coarse said thats on you! not my circus not my monkey!! He told SD that if she kept her attitude up and her appearance not and clean (huge issue) than she can come. no later than 20 min after he told her to have a good attitude she is yelling and throwing a huge fit over having to shower. He ended up asking her to change her attitude 6-8 times. She doesnt deserve a friend over she deserves to have all her stuff taken out of her room and no electronics until she can learn respect. If i have learned one thing in the last 8 years of being with DH and SD its that yes, you can love a man and not love HIS kid. I feel bad for saying that... but in a way it is freeing to admit it. Day one of disengaging begins. any tips? lets hear 'em!

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Step-monster89's picture

They were best friends for like 3 years and this other girls parents decided to move. the kids have kept in contact. this other child is a sweet girl but Bacon (sd) does not need rewarding

Step-monster89's picture

I keep saying in my head im done im done im done! and i asked for extra hours at work that way i dont have to be here! Bacon lives here full time so for me, working is the best escape!

Step-monster89's picture

So you are saying be passive aggressive about it? smile and be cordial just dont get wrapped up in her shit. Take my kids to the pool,park,store ect. and let her see what fun we have without her. We did used to have a good relationship until DH and I had children and then she became very... well a mini devil child. very possessive over DH and hateful to me and her sisters. He babies her because when he left BM Bacon was all he had, he says. IDK Im like well you have 3 other people now so BALL UP!!!!! lol But, The SM who wanted the whole package is done! He has is piggy and i hope they are happy!

over step's picture

Puke wanted to have a girl over from a neighboring town that she has been chatting with online. Never met face to face. Know nothing about her. Uh, no!

karendow's picture

Are you kidding? No you are not alone. When you train your children in good behavior you can be proud of them from a distance. You know that your training is what they will fall back on when they are not with you. Then other peoples kids come into your home with bad manners, improper etiquet etc. ...and it is so difficult to tolerate. If you try to correct it you end up the bad guy ...being told you are "picking on" the the poor kid. Ya....emm hmmm....right. It's my fault. ..sure.....okay........all done!

Step-monster89's picture

I am a waitress, and also do home health. I was with my home health client all day so i was not here when Bacon got home from school. I just walked in, didnt even look at her and went straight over and hugged and kissed on my DD! I kind of had this "haha" thought in my head as i just walked passed. It was so nice not to feel like i had to ask :"How was school?" "Do you have homework?" "It is shower night tonight." For the first time in a long time i didnt feel stressed when I came home! And of course DH isnt going to ask or tell her to take a shower... But it feels so good not to care! He aided in making her Bacon, an over weight, slob, hateful ass. and now HE gets to enjoy it!

LikeMinded's picture

Hi there, didn't read all the posts, but I can tell you from expreience that one week is LOONG time for a 10 year old girl to have a sleep over. At that age, some of them get freaked out after just one night.

Also, girls of this age are prone to fight... if this happens you're going to end up with a 10 year old crying for her parents. Then what? Is DH going to pay through the nose to put her on an airplane to go back home?

Maybe a good compromise would be to take it down to 3 nights, and just say it's for the sake of the child because she is only 10.

Step-monster89's picture

I completely agree! One week is a crazy amount of time for a sleep over. However, not my child, not my deal. I told him that i didnt think that she deserved to have a friend over to play let alone a whole week. But that just my opinion. She will never maintain a good attitude. That was the deal. If she has a good attitude, cuts the crap with her whining and complaining, and maintains a normal human being appearance then the friend can come. she stuggled with this within the first 30min of making the deal... I honestly dont see it happening. But on the off chance he gives in and lets her... I am maintaining my ground... It will be 100% on him, nothing to do with the situation is on me!! No part in it. But Bacon will never be able to keep the agreement.