I've decided that SS15 is just a tool that his mother uses to try to mess with us. I let him know that him FAILING 3 classes his freshman year is just a way for her to say that DH is not doing his job. That SS15's attitude is exactly the way she wants him to be at our house so that he can cause problems. That if he was doing well in school, sports, and having a general good time with the abundant life that is offered to him here, she would be miserable. If he got along with me and his half siblings and cared about himself, she would be disgusted. His jerky behavior= loyalty to her, he is just her empty vessel to be filled with hate for us. She even goes to lunch with him at school every so often to make sure that he is doing terrible.

I let him know that the best we can hope for, with him acting like a punk and failing, is for him just to get a minimum wage job, an apartment with some roommates, feed himself, and entertain himself with all the distractions on the internet (he's also a tool for internet entertainment). The worst path that he's on leads to him not making it and death at a young age. Then his mom will blame DH and get a sick kick out of that because she really doesn't care if he succeeds or fails. If he fails it's much more fun for her.

When he is a jerk to BD and BS it is not a new surprise for us. When he comes home from school and goes straight to sleep, it's not big news. He thinks he's such a rebel, but he's just doing exactly what he's been brainwashed to do. He can't even close his bedroom door at our house anymore because he will STOP AT NOTHING to get onto internet. (Oh and you can offer all of the suggestions you want to help with THAT problem, but he finds a way to hack into the network or someone else's). He has no electronic devices as far as I know, but I'm sure he's conned someone into giving him something, or dug through the house for some old android crap. It doesn't matter, he's just doing what his mom loves him to do: rebel against us. She gave him an iPod and told him to keep it a secret this summer and he never got any sleep.

I'm really just venting. 3 more years and he's out or I am. BM won't let him live off of her because DH won't be required to pay support because there's no way he's getting into college at this point. She sued for custody this summer then found out that we would be paying her about $600 a month instead of the $7,000 she wanted, so she dropped the suit. He's just a tool with no flame or fire in him. We have him in monthly counseling and do EVERYTHING we can, but he is a life/fun sucker because that's what he's been trained to be.

He really does think that this is all his choice, that his assholeness is just him "doing what he wants" (he put that on his instagram account a few years back), but it's not, he's just her tool.