Poem from a divorced woman

The Next Time

The next time a friend tells you she is getting a divorce

Act as if she has just told you that the person she has loved for sunrises and sunsets, for starry nights and stormy skies and every moment in between...Act as if she has just told you that this person has died...

Because that is what has happened.

The next time a friend tells you she is getting a divorce

Act as if she has just told you that the person who has loved her at her best and at her worst, who has been her everything for too many days to count...Act as if she has just told you that this person has died...

Because that is what has happened.

The next time a friend tells you she is getting a divorce

Act as if she has just told you that she is about to enter the most intense grieving period of her life, and that a part of her has died too...

Because that is what has happened.

The next time a friend tells you she is getting a divorce

Know that even if says she is okay, underneath her smile, your friend is drowning in loss, your friend needs your help...

Because she is grieving a death
A death she may have chosen
A death he may have chosen
But it is a death, nonetheless.

The next time a friend tells you she is getting a divorce

Know that depression may strike, and depression is a beast, it's a killer. And when she reaches out to you, you must go to her. Drop your plans, get in the car...

And go.

Go again, and again, and again, because she needs you, even if she doesn't want to admit it.

Because there are days when she doesn't want to live, even if she doesn't want to admit it.

And because one day, you will lose someone you loved, whether through a divorce, a death, or both...

And you will need her too.

The next time a friend tells you she is getting a divorce

The best thing you can do is hold a space for her to grieve, without telling her why her life is so fabulous and why she should feel good.

The best thing you can do is hold her and let her cry until the storm passes.

>>>>I was married 7 years and never felt like this after my divorce, but by that time I hated my EX.

Ninji's blog
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Comments

DH and his ex did not marry

DH and his ex did not marry for love, I can guarantee neither of them felt like that poem!

The person I had fallen in

The person I had fallen in love with had died way before my divorce, and my ex would say the same thing about me.

I am so much happier and can see spending the rest of my life with my current husband. I think my ex is much happier without me as well. I don't know and I don't care.

This pretty much nailed it on

This pretty much nailed it on the head for me. I LOVED my husband. I was so happy with my life. He was my very best friend in the whole world. And he was a big fat cheater and I didn't know until he accidentally left his email up and there were TONS from some woman named Amy. And I said, "We don't know anyone named Amy" and the first one I clicked on was bj's in a hotel room the weekend I took the kids to see my mom. And I was 7 months pregnant with our third daughter and the more I clicked the more my world and my life came crashing down around my head. That whore that wanted my life.. that was changing my baby's diaper while I was at work and screwing my husband and holding up my pregnancy granny panties and laughing at me .. cause it was all in the emails he never deleted for me to find.. had the nerve to say to me, "A different life doesn't necessarily have to mean a worse life."

She was married too and he's married to someone else today. Yesterday was our middle daughter's 8th birthday party. I went to their home where her step mother threw her birthday party and did a lovely job making the decorations and party games a success and I was just a guest and ya, it made me sad for myself because that's not really how I envisioned my life but there it is. I guess I don't mourn him anymore. I mourn that unbroken family that I wanted for myself. That daughter I was pregnant with is six now. And I guess what I don't get is he seems like a very good husband to his current wife. I know that he seemed like a very good husband to me while we were married and all along had this secret cheating life but I wonder. I wonder if he is doing to her what he did to me.

well I made sure the karma

well I made sure the karma bus stopped at the Other Woman's door. Those emails were titallitating and all written on her work University of Florida email (which is Public record) and I sent them to her boss as their affair took place in her work office . There were pictures and videos. I got her fired. And I also sent the emails to her hubby and he got the kids in the divorce. and she didn't get my husband.

Now is new wife is sweet and I wish her no ill will. She is good to my kids and came way after me