So, as I have said, SO and Warthog are still going through a divorce and there seems to be no end in sight. I have been approached by BIL a couple of times to sit down and talk with BM woman to woman and maybe I could make an impact. I have firmly, but politely, declined thus far. First, because it's not my problem if she wants to drink herself to death. Second, because you can't argue with crazy. And third, because I am likely to beat her death with my bare hands if I had to spend any time alone with her. I thought, once, about writing an email to her but decided against that as well because of 1 & 2 above. But last night BIL stopped by her house and she was, shockingly, drunk and stated to him that she has no intention of getting a job, ever. She has a boyfriend who barely speaks English and who works at a factory. She has a gay bff who pays for her beer and cigarettes and apparently said she had a third guy on the hook who keeps her "entertained," so she is happily spreading genital warts to the rest of our smaller community. Yay BM. But it got me thinking. There are lots of things I would love to say to her and I decided that if I were going to write her an email, this is what I would say.

Dear Warthog (and yes that is what I would call her):

I am writing this email, not because I believe there is hope for you as I think we can both agree that would be a waste of hope, but because there are things that you need to know, and things that I need to say. I have spent the past 5 months getting to know your family, your children, and yes, your spouse....intimately. I have been on this roller coaster ride with you as you have continued to drink and abuse your body, your mind, and common decency. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that while I am entirely indifferent to your treatment of yourself, I do believe there are things you need to know.

I am not a loser, a slut or a whore. There isn't enough room in this town for two of those, and you have cornered the market on all three of those titles. Good for you! It's important to have a goal in life, and it appears that you have made yours being the most vile human being to ever walk the earth. I would pity you but the reality is, even that takes too much energy. I don't hate you, I nothing you.

What I am is the woman who has taken care of your children while you have continued to spiral out of control. What I am is the woman who has chosen to use your example as a guideline by which to make myself a better woman. Note, that is not making myself a better woman than you, that would be like graduating valedictorian from summer school, it just doesn't have the same ring to it. I mean I have made myself a better woman as a whole because God knows your children need it. I allow you to take space in my brain on a very limited basis and your lease is up my dear. It's time to take out the garbage, and lest your liquor soaked brain is incapable of catching the simile...in this instance YOU are the garbage.

I would wish evil and horrible things to happen to you but the reality is that would require me to give a shit. Note, in case you are confused, I don't. I used to fantasize about you walking in front of a bus or dying at the hands of some angry drunk lover you knowingly, and recklessly, infected with your crotch rot. But then I realized something. If you died, that would be a sweet release from the misery you have created for yourself. We would have to continue to deal with your absence while you got to get off scott free. Instead, I would rather that you mire in your own shit like that fat, disgusting, immoral pig that you are. Oink Oink Warthog, you lose.

While you are nursing your cocktail and your sense of self loathing, your children are slowly but surely erasing you from their minds. You are a caricature to them even now, and with a few more years, you will be nothing more than a very bad memory. I don't say that because that is my goal. I say that because you have given them no choice. You have chosen not to support them, you have chosen not to put them first, and you have chosen now to manipulate and lie to them. The day of reckoning is coming very soon. I see it every day when they call me mommy and refer to you as Warthog. Some day your children will look back on their childhoods and when they graduate high school, I will be the one they thank in their speeches. When they get married, I will be the one who they consider their mother. When they have children, I will be the one they invite to the hospital. You, you will be the genetic donator that they will be embarassed to invite to anything. When you die, they will cry for your loss and move forward with their lives. When I die they will truly grieve.

Does that hurt your feelings? I hope it does, because at least then I would know that you have some. How can you give birth to four beautiful children and then continue to disregard them in every way possible. Those children are not the product of my body but I love them fiercely enough to believe that they were. I only say that because I want you to know that they will be in good hands. In my care they will get their education, they will not use drugs, they will not become alcoholics, and I will never allow them to become the bloated narcissistic misery hog that you continue to be. They will excel where you have failed. I will make that my mission.

One final note. I want to thank you for being a total and complete failure in life. Because of you I have found my anchor in the storm, my soul's other half, and my most valuable counterpart, SO. Because of your total and complete grotesqueness as time went on, SO has reawakened in his lust for me and his desire to please me. Which he does, multiple times a week, for long and exciting periods. Believe me....it is earth shattering pleasure. Enjoy your life of abject misery and disgust. Meanwhile, I will be over here racking your STBExH with continues waves of pleasure. Allow that image to filter into your brain when you are crying yourself to sleep in your big cocktail, knowing that is the most likely you will ever have big and cock in your life at the same time again.

In closing, I cordially invite you to go fuck yourself. That is all.