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SS20 has overdosed again...part 2

MomandSMofSix's picture

Submitted by MomandSMofSix on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 9:36am

So SS20 has pulled through his coma. He's still very out of it but last night his kidneys started functioning on their own and they took out his breathing tube. THANK GOD. However he has a SERIOUS road to recovery as he has developed rhabdomyolysis and compartment syndrome because who knows how long he was out before he was found. He went into surgery this morning to relieve some of the pressure on his arm and they had to cut from his pec to his wrist and a huge part of his trap. He still needs additional surgeries for his chest and leg, but they're waiting to see if the swelling goes down in his arm. If not, he will have it amputated. He's in extreme pain so they have him sedated and on morphine e which makes it impossible to get any sort of idea from him as to what he took or why. Our best guess is heroin as that has been his drug of choice for almost 2 years. All in all he's doing better and I am grateful.

Here's the reason for my post today ... I am hurt. Extremely hurt. I have been 100% behind my SO about all his decisions and whatever he needed since this has happened. SS and I have always gotten along and he is actually the only one of the 3 that genuinely likes and respects me. 3 weeks ago when he screwed up again I refused to speak with him. Call it childish, but I was disappointed in him and I needed him to know that. He took it to heart and of course BM took that opportunity to jump in and be the hero.

So yesterday when I found out what was going on I wrote a post to my fb requesting prayers sent in the direction of my family. That was it. No indication whatsoever of what was going on. SD12 liked the post and BM freaked out on SO to the point where he called and asked me to take it down. At first he told me it was because she was getting a million texts and it was too much for her. Later when he got home and I confronted him about it (questioning how in the world anyone would know to text her, especially since I have her blocked on fb) and the truth came out that it was because I had referred to HER son as MY family. How dare I! I didn't say anything about how it was bothering me to SO because I don't want to add to his burden right now, but now I'm reading posts from the rest of his family all about SS and at this point they all know more than I do! Sad

I feel like I got snapped back to my place real quick. And now I feel not only hurt, but angry at SO for letting her treat me that way. Am I being a child??

Comments

Justshootme's picture

Submitted by Justshootme on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 9:42am

I'm so glad for you that he pulled through. Perhaps this will be his "bottom" and he will be willing to get the help he needs.

And no, I don't think you are being a child. Family can include a lot of people who aren't related by blood.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 9:49am

I really don't understand why anyone would be bothered that someone cares enough about their child to consider them family. I can't imagine hating on someone who asks for prayers for my, possibly dying, son.

I sincerely hope that this is the wake up call that your SS needs and he will now be open to getting help and sticking with it for the long haul.

MomandSMofSix's picture

Submitted by MomandSMofSix on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 10:23am

We just found out that he had in fact been in the same hospital last week for an OD. They had to give him the shot to bring him back again. So that makes it 5 times hes ODED in a year, that we know of. I hate to sound like a pessimist, but I'm not sure anything will wake this kid up. I hope for my SO and his entire family I'm wrong though ...

mommy0104's picture

Submitted by mommy0104 on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 9:59am

Good to hear that he is pulling through. I'm not allowed to refer to my skids as "family" either. It's all about BM being a control freak. She believes she owns her kids and by anyone else referring to them as family, she feels threatened, like she's losing any control she has..it's sad and pathetic. We're evil if we don't care and overbearing if we do..sorry you have to go through this.

MomandSMofSix's picture

Submitted by MomandSMofSix on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 10:21am

I was just saying this exact thing to SO. If I talk about disengaging I am an awful person, but if I give a shit, I get shit from BM. I can't do anything right. :/

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Submitted by ItsGrowingOld on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 10:47am

Sorry this all happened to you Sad

I'm thoroughly convinced FB is the anti-christ! }:) There seems to be a lot of drama that takes root on that site. :sick:

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 12:05pm

Family trauma often brings family drama. Emotions are heightened, adrenaline is pumping, and with some that brings out the worst. Please try to just put the poo on 'ignore' and be there for your DH during this crisis.

It's absurd - BM's child is an addict who is lying close to death in a hospital - and she chooses to focus on an inoffensive fb post? Not all of us behave well under pressure, and all that fear and worry and frustration needs a target. That's one big reason why hospitals have security guards.

Keep on keeping things together on the home front. Be the glue. Make sure DH remembers to eat and sleep. And disregard the drama makers.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Fri, 07/10/2015 - 12:52pm

WTF

He should be happy that you give a crap about his son.

I'd suggest you remove/block BM and skids from your FB because she's obviously looking for things to complain about.