He told his friend (who is newly moved in with his girl friend) the worst phrase in step parenting history
"You knew she had kids when you asked her to move in together"
I was appalled that he actually said this. I wanted to take his phone and run off with it. He really thinks he knows the struggle... yes he is a step parent, but I truly have always tried to make it easy on him, I always took care of my kids needs, I always made them treat him respectfully.
He also said that he needs to be a father figure to these kids (the kids have a dad). He also said that he needs to set these kids straight (the youngest is 10 the oldest 16). He has seen these kids on the weekend only, and only a few times. How is he going to set anyone straight? They don't look at him like a father. He is the worst at giving advice on this.
When I said that to SO, I just got a blank stare. Like what, you aren't supposed to say that. And I told him no one is gonna want to spend as much time with his kids as he does unless he gets back with BM....And really BM never spends any time with them. SS is a jackass.
Huge peeve of mine is that phrase.
I do not tell anyone IRL my step-issues and I do not take advice from anyone who doesn't have a step family anymore.
My friends with nuclear families have NO IDEA what fresh hell it can be to be a SM or to have skids who run the show.
I had a friend tell me I should love my SD's like my own children. Really? The only way I can make people understand that's not realistic is to have them picture themselves with a neighbor kid that treats you like shit, treats your kids like shit and messes up your house. Would you still want him around, and would you love him? NO!
I try to tell people, How would you feel if you had guests in your house EVERY weekend. They didn't clean up after themselves, ate all your food, monopolized your DH's time and you were ALWAYS the bad guy.
Most people won't even want their BFF's over every single weekend, let alone someone else's kids.
Now that I think about it...I don't think ANY of my close friends are step-parents. Well one is but they are older and don't live with/near her and never have. But she has a BD19 that is hell on wheels so she sympathizes with me. No one else gets it AT ALL. Of course I would never wish stephell on them either.
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He told his friend (who is
He told his friend (who is newly moved in with his girl friend) the worst phrase in step parenting history
"You knew she had kids when you asked her to move in together"
I was appalled that he actually said this. I wanted to take his phone and run off with it. He really thinks he knows the struggle... yes he is a step parent, but I truly have always tried to make it easy on him, I always took care of my kids needs, I always made them treat him respectfully.
He also said that he needs to be a father figure to these kids (the kids have a dad). He also said that he needs to set these kids straight (the youngest is 10 the oldest 16). He has seen these kids on the weekend only, and only a few times. How is he going to set anyone straight? They don't look at him like a father. He is the worst at giving advice on this.
Yeah that is terrible.
Yeah that is terrible. Especially the last bit about setting them straight...that guy is heading straight for disaster
It's really bad, I want to
It's really bad, I want to take the phone away from dh and talk to his friend myself.
I hate when I say something
I hate when I say something about skids and get that response "You knew he had kids before you married him." NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
Agree with Evil angel! "You
Agree with Evil angel!
"You knew he had kids before you married him."
Thank you Captain Obvious!
I like to say "He knew I
I like to say "He knew I didn't have kids when he got with me"
Now THAT is a good one! I am
Now THAT is a good one! I am going to use that!
When I said that to SO, I
When I said that to SO, I just got a blank stare. Like what, you aren't supposed to say that. And I told him no one is gonna want to spend as much time with his kids as he does unless he gets back with BM....And really BM never spends any time with them. SS is a jackass.
I'm waiting to tell someone,
I'm waiting to tell someone, "yes, but I didn't know they were a**holes with a manipulative BM".
Huge peeve of mine is that
Huge peeve of mine is that phrase.
I do not tell anyone IRL my step-issues and I do not take advice from anyone who doesn't have a step family anymore.
My friends with nuclear families have NO IDEA what fresh hell it can be to be a SM or to have skids who run the show.
I had a friend tell me I should love my SD's like my own children. Really? The only way I can make people understand that's not realistic is to have them picture themselves with a neighbor kid that treats you like shit, treats your kids like shit and messes up your house. Would you still want him around, and would you love him? NO!
I try to tell people, How
I try to tell people, How would you feel if you had guests in your house EVERY weekend. They didn't clean up after themselves, ate all your food, monopolized your DH's time and you were ALWAYS the bad guy.
Most people won't even want their BFF's over every single weekend, let alone someone else's kids.
Now that I think about it...I
Now that I think about it...I don't think ANY of my close friends are step-parents. Well one is but they are older and don't live with/near her and never have. But she has a BD19 that is hell on wheels so she sympathizes with me. No one else gets it AT ALL. Of course I would never wish stephell on them either.
Wow.
Wow.
I knew he had kids, however,
I knew he had kids, however, I had no idea just how fucked up the BM is. Soooooo.....that tales away the whole "you knew he had kids".
Ditto
Ditto