Long story short: So SS14 got in serious trouble at the end of the school year. I made an appointment for a psychologist. BM says she can't make it and we need to reschedule. We did reschedule, but not for her (for crying out loud, she doesn't make it to his dentist appointments or shots or most of his other psychologist appointments). She happened to come and get him on the new date for the appointment and...surprise surprise, she didn't take him. She didn't say it was because she is lazy and hasn't taken him anywhere in years, you know, like his wrestling practices that he quit, baseball that he quit, or appointments (mentioned above). Instead she pulls the mom card and says SS14 is fine and doesn't need to see a psychologist now. Now he lives with us full time, so when she decides that she's the fun summer mom and comes and gets him on one of her scheduled days (but never gets him on her extra days during the school year) it seems so weird that now she nows his mental health over everyone else who actually sees him all the other days of the week.

Response from DH: Keep him until he sees a psychologist, he can't come back. (This was mostly to make HER make the new appointment)

Her response: Serve us papers asking for over $7,000 a month in child support. That will never happen, but you can tell what her REAL motivation is here. She has never had a job, has a green card, put on her paperwork that she is disabled, but it's probably not legally disabled because she receives no disability.

It's been two weeks and were doing the response paperwork and SS14 has not been home, but I think the killer here is that she is accusing us of mental abuse. THEN she actually did take him to a psychologist the week after she refused to take him, to try to prove we abuse him. After the doctor called DH and told him he was brought in DH texted SS14 that he was glad he went and now he can come home. You have to know that this is the first time DH has said, "Don't come back if you don't do XYZ" and he is fed up. He is tired of her thinking that she can call the shots while we do all of the hard stuff.

Personally, I feel like I don't care where SS ends up. If a judge gives her custody even though she has has hardly taken him throughout the school year and she is voluntarily unemployed with $0 income, whatever. I've read all of the stuff online and the most DH would have to pay her is $800 and DH sys he's fine with it. I've never seen him so unfeeling about it. I think it's because we had talked to SS14 about the psychologist and made it clear he had to go, but the minute his mom has him he goes along with her and texts DH that he doesn't need help and that we're terrible people. They both finally crossed DH's line. I don't think SS knows how hard it is to make his dad mad and that could mean a big rift in their relationship.

For me, I just keep thinking, I knew this was always going to happen and that being a stepmom is thankless. A few times I've felt upset that things aren't different. I wish SS would call or text and say that he wants to come back and is not feeling the same as his mom, but that's not going to happen. He's happy to be there because she'll let him play games all day and he was grounded at our house. He's all about being in the moment and getting what he wants from whomever will give it to him. Blood always wins out.

I also feel like maybe a good six months together might wake them both up. She would actually have to deal with all the problems he has at school, and he would get to see how long she can actually keep up this mother of the year charade. Eventually he'll want something from her (like school clothes, to play a sport, to go to the dentist) that she won't feel like giving him. I hope it doesn't destroy him.