She was drinking in my house. Yeah... she pulled one over on me but the dumb bitch left her evidence in my trash can.
SD's kept telling me throughout the visit that she smelled like beer. and then it wasn't beer, it was alcohol..
BM was drinking tequila out of water bottles. Really.. You can't not drink for 30 fucking minutes to visit your kids once every 6 effing months!!!! She isn't even supposed to drink or use drugs within 24 hours of coming to see her kids but she's BM.. she does what she wants.
After she finished off two water bottles, she kept going to her ride's car.
Could we tell she was drinking.. no. She acted the same as always when here, not interested in her kids at all.
This also makes me wonder.. when she comes over she usually has a fountain drink. and she's always trying to get the kids to drink after her. Did she have alcohol in that!!
So now what do I do.. I have the water bottles.. they both smell of tequila, one of them has a little bit still in it.
someone suggested that she bring a drug test with her, and take it before the visit begins but do those tests include a positive for alcohol?
Oh my Lord why won't she just leave these kids alone since she doesn't want to be their mother!
Yes, I would immediately call the caseworker or whoever is in that kind of position. Ask that person what to do. Also take photos of the items. Do you have any photos of BM during the visit? Preserve those to show her holding the same object.
I have the whole thing on video. She was chugging that "water" like she was trying to drowned herself in it. She spilled it on herself, dropped the cap a few times.. and even dropped the bottle trying to sit it on the table and totally missed.
She also kept putting the bottle right in front of my recorder like she knew she was going to get away with it.
Can you have the visits stopped all together? Have a case worker visit half way through next time. Have her take a look at the bottles which I am sure she will bring again.
no caseworker. They do have a counselor that comes to the house to see them sometimes. I plan to call her tomorrow to see what I should do.
I figured she would do it again too.. I thought about asking to see the bottles myself if that were to occur.
I plan to call their counselor first thing in the morning. The visits were supposed to start in a facility last fall but BM won't sign the agreement.
The girls know how she is and that's why I'm upset with myself for not listening to them. I would have asked her to leave. BM has always been like this but DH watched a minute of the video and said that's how she was before. He said she must have gotten even worse to do it here.
Her drinking doesn't effect the girls anymore .. not like it used to. As soon as DH would pull in from work she was throwing a fit and demanding beer. He stopped buying it for her. Then she would start walking to town as he was pulling in the drive with the kids standing at the door crying for her. This was when they were still married. Even when they were younger she would leave them alone to go get drunk while DH was at work. She would leave at nap time and they would end up at the neighbor's house. She has always been like this. Makes me sick.
She was still drinking from Friday night.
At the rate she's going her next visit will be Christmas which is fine by me.. She won't get into any trouble for this, I'm sure but if I EVER have to do another one of these, I will find any reason I can to make her leave.. I might even make one up since I can't get anywhere with actual proof of anything...ok I wouldn't really do that but She only comes bc she thinks she's court ordered to. SDs do not enjoy seeing her at all.
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She was drinking in my house.
She was drinking in my house. Yeah... she pulled one over on me but the dumb bitch left her evidence in my trash can.
SD's kept telling me throughout the visit that she smelled like beer. and then it wasn't beer, it was alcohol..
BM was drinking tequila out of water bottles. Really.. You can't not drink for 30 fucking minutes to visit your kids once every 6 effing months!!!! She isn't even supposed to drink or use drugs within 24 hours of coming to see her kids but she's BM.. she does what she wants.
After she finished off two water bottles, she kept going to her ride's car.
Could we tell she was drinking.. no. She acted the same as always when here, not interested in her kids at all.
This also makes me wonder.. when she comes over she usually has a fountain drink. and she's always trying to get the kids to drink after her. Did she have alcohol in that!!
So now what do I do.. I have the water bottles.. they both smell of tequila, one of them has a little bit still in it.
someone suggested that she bring a drug test with her, and take it before the visit begins but do those tests include a positive for alcohol?
Oh my Lord why won't she just leave these kids alone since she doesn't want to be their mother!
There are alcohol and drug
There are alcohol and drug tests purchase able over the counter. They are not admissible in court or a legal dispute surely. Your BM is nasty.
Thanks. Yeah, she's
Thanks. Yeah, she's definitely something else.
The person who told me that said she had her ex do that before picking up the kids every time. Her attorney advised it.
No case worker involved
No case worker involved unfortunately
I have tried that route and they said they had to be court ordered. So all we have is an attorney.
Yes, I would immediately call
Yes, I would immediately call the caseworker or whoever is in that kind of position. Ask that person what to do. Also take photos of the items. Do you have any photos of BM during the visit? Preserve those to show her holding the same object.
This situation is ridiculous.
I have the whole thing on
I have the whole thing on video. She was chugging that "water" like she was trying to drowned herself in it. She spilled it on herself, dropped the cap a few times.. and even dropped the bottle trying to sit it on the table and totally missed.
She also kept putting the bottle right in front of my recorder like she knew she was going to get away with it.
Can you have the visits
Can you have the visits stopped all together? Have a case worker visit half way through next time. Have her take a look at the bottles which I am sure she will bring again.
Oh god I wish! no
Oh god I wish!
no caseworker. They do have a counselor that comes to the house to see them sometimes. I plan to call her tomorrow to see what I should do.
I figured she would do it again too.. I thought about asking to see the bottles myself if that were to occur.
I am just still in shock..
Since there isn't a
Since there isn't a caseworker involved.. what would I do.. just call CPS? :?
I'm just so mad at myself for
I'm just so mad at myself for not listening to the kids while she was here.
I know and the sad thing is,
I know and the sad thing is, this isn't the worst she has done.
I still can't get over the fact it was done right in front of my face and I was clueless.
Get a breathalyzer. Make her
Get a breathalyzer. Make her use it before and after the visit. If shows she's been drinking then deny her the visit.
great idea! Thank you.
great idea! Thank you.
Hopefully there won't be another visit in my house but just in case I will do this.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
Great idea!
Great idea!
I plan to call their
I plan to call their counselor first thing in the morning. The visits were supposed to start in a facility last fall but BM won't sign the agreement.
The girls know how she is and that's why I'm upset with myself for not listening to them. I would have asked her to leave. BM has always been like this but DH watched a minute of the video and said that's how she was before. He said she must have gotten even worse to do it here.
Her drinking doesn't effect the girls anymore .. not like it used to. As soon as DH would pull in from work she was throwing a fit and demanding beer. He stopped buying it for her. Then she would start walking to town as he was pulling in the drive with the kids standing at the door crying for her. This was when they were still married. Even when they were younger she would leave them alone to go get drunk while DH was at work. She would leave at nap time and they would end up at the neighbor's house. She has always been like this. Makes me sick.
She was still drinking from
She was still drinking from Friday night.
At the rate she's going her next visit will be Christmas which is fine by me.. She won't get into any trouble for this, I'm sure but if I EVER have to do another one of these, I will find any reason I can to make her leave.. I might even make one up since I can't get anywhere with actual proof of anything...ok I wouldn't really do that but She only comes bc she thinks she's court ordered to. SDs do not enjoy seeing her at all.