My kids didn't disappoint me on Mother's Day. The made me cute little cards and gifts at school. I just wanted to spend the day with them.

My whole life I wanted children and a family of my own. And yes I always get disappointed on holidays. Pretty much every holiday sucks for me because I have these expectations in my mind on how its going to go and it never goes that way. I know my SO doesn't ever buy me anything for my birthday. For Christmas he got me a $10 toaster. I'm on the Atkins diet. I don't eat bread. He got me nothing for Valentine's Day. My coworker said , "You want someone to treat you nice? You have to demand it. You have to tell them you expect roses." yeah, that's all good but I kinda wanted someone to do that for me because they wanted to and because he felt I deserved it. When he said he was going to go to theme park with me I thought this was going to be it. The first time he was going to make just one day all about me. To actually make forth an effort for me. To show me that he appreciated me. Nope. Not only did he not do that but he robbed me of spending the day with my children. They spent the day with my coworker. I'm done. He's not going to ruin anymore.

Here's the wonder of my life: my skids wish me happy mother's day. My own BS is the one who has trouble with it.

Zero - I saw WAY too many posts about women who were pissed off about Mother's Day. While I can understand why someone would feel slighted, I really thought it was just way too much drama, for one freaking stupid day, that really doesn't mean shit.
What is the point of getting treated like royalty ONE day out of the year and then treated like shit the other 364 days? Perspective ladies.

My Mother's Day went like this:
Woke up at 8am. Sorted the laundry, washed 5 loads. Changed all the bedding. DH wished me a HMD, kissed me, smacked my butt & ran out to do God knows what. I told him he better not even THINK about spending $200.00 on flowers or a gift. Our finances are incredibly strained right now and I wasn't having it.
He got me some supermarket flowers, a lovely card and brought me Dunkin Donuts coffee, best gift ever.

I received texts and calls and FB messages from friends and family. Including SS22 and SD14. I don't doubt DH reminded them to do so, but either way, it was sweet. BS29 and BS26 called, but didn't send flowers. So what…Who cares. I know my kids love me. They tell me so every day. BM gave me a DD gift card, a pretty flower in a pot and a handmade card from GB with her two feet forming a heart. Sweetest gesture ever, I gave her a scented Ralph Lauren candle.

I drove BS17 to work, then DH and I went to Costco. He wanted to go out for dinner, I talked him into buying some beautiful sirloins instead and we threw them on the grill. I made a salad, some rice, popped a bottle of Moscato and we sat outside after dinner with our neighbors for cocktails. BS17 came home after work with a dozen white roses for me. His card however, made me cry. He told me he has learned strength from me and that I am the best mom and grandma a kid could ask for.
It was a regular day, I wasn't acting like a Princess, no one bought me breakfast in bed, no one catered to me or rubbed my feet. I wasn't expecting anything and I got more than enough. If we lower our expectations, understand that these Holiday's are really created to generate income for big corporations, accept and understand that our children love us and that our happiness shouldn't come from ONE day of Hallmark nonsense, we will be MUCH happier.

My skids didn't say anything, but I didn't really expect them to. I marry their dad in a few months so I guess technically I am not their SM. I think they also view me more like a fun aunt than a mom...we are close. I don't have any bios. I am 27 and never married (will be in September)

A few of my friends reached out to say Happy Mother's Day and it made me feel weird. I am not a mom....well, just a pet mom. My one friend even brought me mother's day flowers to brunch (along with our other friend who is a BM). I was happy to have them, but I still feel weird accepting flowers since I am not a mom. SO was there, and he was like "yea, you're a stepmom to 4!"

Maybe I will feel more "mom-ish" once I am married to SO. I do care about my skids a lot, I really like them. I'm not sure if I love them. I'm not sure I know what love is supposed to feel like towards a kid who is not mine. Some of my cousins have kids who I like, but I don't feel the intense "my heart is going to explode" love that I've heard BMs describe for my cousins kids, and not for my skids. I feel warmth towards my skids and I care for them. I am happy when they succeed, feel for them when they are sad, am proud of their accomplishments....maybe that is love?

This may sound bad, but I LOVE my dogs. I do feel that heart bursting love for my two rescues. One is deaf (3.5yo German Shorthaired Pointer mix) and one is almost 9 (rescued her almost a year ago, she was a puppy mill dog and someone adopted her for 5 or so years then dumped her back at the shelter - dachshund chihuahua mix). I get a tight chest thinking about where they might be without me and how much I love them. I don't feel that for the skids. Maybe because they HAVE two great loving parents and I am the third wheel?

This is the first time I am "saying this out loud".

I agree.

People are allowed to have their feelings though.

This too shall pass.

No, I'm not religious.

I completely agree. I don't expect anything for MD but this one was good. OSS turned 18

DH did get me some flowers for my garden and OSS's best friend (he's always here so I consider him just one of the kids, he's also being raised by his grandma) brought me flowers for MD too. DH grilled out for the 10 18yos that were here plus our other 6 to celebrate with OSS while taking care of the baby to give me some me time. That was nice.

My BS... he wanted to go hang out with his friends on MD. He's growing up on me.

I don't get it, either.

Like a lot of other holidays, it's original meaning and intent has been lost.

I have to add I hate the stuff the younger ones bring home from school for like a whole week. They want to keep it all forever and I can't do it. lol.
I don't remember feeling that way when my bios brought those things home when they were younger. I actually miss the handmade things from them.

My DH wished me a HMD, bought me a small bouquet of flowers, and my kids gave me a card. I have no clue what the SK's were doing, probably sleeping. Most MD's in the past they'd be with us but this year they weren't.

A little O/T, I read a post from an acquaintance on FB who thanked his wife, on Mother's Day, for cleaning the house and cooking a huge meal for him, his brothers, and his parents... then said the end to the great day was kicking back in the recliner. His wife's response: Thanks! Although my foot and leg were swollen from all the standing (she just had major reconstructive surgery on her ankle) I'm OK. Now planning what to cook for everyone on Father's Day!

OK... maybe cooking for everyone is her thing, maybe their relationship is the (what I would term, no offense to anyone) old fashioned woman in the kitchen, man in the field sort but wow....

My idea of a great mother's day? Not doing anything. Even if nobody wished me HMD, I'd be thrilled to not have to cook, or do laundry, or worry about anything for JUST ONE DAY.

I dunno. I mean I was thinking of you guys and my SS's stepmom when I was at the Hallmark store yesterday.

There's a small Mother's Day sub-section devoted to wives, one devoted to grandmother's, one devoted to great-grandmother's....There's subsections for others too (like sister-in-laws). Then there are the subsections to Mom depending on who the card-giver is (from daughter, from son, from all the children, etc)

Nothing for step-moms.

It kind of bothered me because I think step-moms are a lot more common than great-grandmothers KWIM?

Well, I got a little box of chocolates that DH had DD1 bring to me - fun to shake I guess lol. And I have to admit, I wanted more of a fuss. But I wanted more of a fuss when I was pregnant, at my birthdays since I moved to my new country, etc etc. So I think I'll have to figure out what I want and just arrange it. My DH won't, but he'll participate or pay for it. His mind just doesn't work that way... he somehow doesn't get that even if I read his mind and knew his heart and how much he truly madly deeply loves me... I still want a fuss!

So I guess any disappointments I have are really about me waiting for other people to meet my unarticulated needs. So the only one who can change things is me.

I was pleasantly surprised my skids even wanted to sign my card with my kids! Lol

I can't imagine being incensed about not getting gifts and worship. I didn't give birth to them.I raise them but do nannies expect mothers day cards?

zero - it kinda ached for me.

i know i didn't birth them. but i'm there every single day of their lives. and yes, i provide things for them and do things for them - because that's what *I* choose to do.

dh said 'hmd'- awww

mss said it to me. melted my heart so i said "awww thanks mss, that's very sweet!" but was leaving the room, yss said "oh yeah, mss, we need to call mom."

that made me so sad. mss had no qualms about it, said it right in front of yss. yss has said it to me every year that i've known him, even gone so far as to pick stuff out for me. but this time around, his loyalties are so torn, so confused, it was as if he couldnt bring himself to say it to me without saying it to her first.

and sadder still, they never did get the chance to say it to her yesterday. fucking slack-ass waste of skin slut faced skanky meth addled whore. they deserve so much better.

If mother's day was important to me before this post, I've certainly changed my mind now!

It never has been important for me to have my kids recognize me once a year.

I suppose it's not "serious", but... There's always a but! For me, it's one of the "little things". Recognize it or don't, in and of itself it means nothing. But if you have enough "little things" that someone fucks up, it becomes one giant mountain of a "big thing", you know?

Example. My sis's H is a crap husband. She is probably about to divorce him. Long story short, he woke her up at 2 am to scream at her for not doing the dishes, then packed a bag and went to live with his mom. He now wants to come home but sis isn't having it. Thank GOD. The thing is, MOST of the crap is "little things". He doesn't do housework. He doesn't do anything for Mother's Day. He goes golfing on her birthday, leaving her with their kids. Those are examples, but it's DAILY. So any one of those things is little, but when it's *every day* it's too much. MD is just one more straw added to the pile.

My DH is actually amazing. (Issues have generally been with the skids, not DH.) He considers me, daily. So I actually had no need for anything over the top for MD. The only thing I asked for was for him to take the kids in the morning and let me sleep. Which he did. Because he rocks. BS6 made me a pop-up card. It was sweet.

So I guess I'd say that while, no, Mother's Day in and of itself isn't "serious" or even important - people need to remember that the pattern of behavior the rest of the year is actually the catalyst for the bitch fest, for those people who were bitching. MD was just the last straw.