It's been several years since I posted. At 23, I married a man 18 years my senior in June 2010, after 6 weeks of marriage I was suddenly a step mom to then SD12, SD13 and SS15. (Only SD13 was his biologically, the other two were her siblings but we took them all in when BM got evicted) 3 months into it, DH was diagnosed with liver cancer and I came up pregnant with twins. After about a year and a half, we sent the youngest SD back cause she pulled a knife on the babysitter.

things were tough, but we managed. SD turned out to be very helpful to me with the twins and SS helped DH with farm work until he turned 18 and started acting like an ass and got thrown out.

Fast forward to February 2014, after a long battle and going into remission twice, DHs health took a turn for the worse. We were out of options and after a couple close calls, brought in hospice to help me care for him.

He was very strong, after a serious stint in the hospital with an e coli infection, he was on the tractor the next day, so he wasn't bedridden and still very much in charge of things. He thought it would be a good idea to have the skids me-maw (BMs mom) come up to help, since though we had zero contact wi the BM, we maintained a good relationship with her and she treated my kids like her own her own grandkids. I was vehemently opposed to the idea though because I knew that SD would "dump" me for her. DH dismissed my concerns and did what the hell he wanted anyway as he always did.

Things turned out exactly like I thought they would. SD spent every waking moment with me-maw in the RV we set up next to the house though we made it very clear that me maw was more than welcome to hang out (she had no problems using our kitchen and bathrooms). I had just started a new job that was labor intensive with long hours, so I'd wake up early, get the twins ready (sometimes SD would help) Take em to daycare, go to work, come home, take care of the twins, go to bed. Rinse and repeat for the next couple weeks.

A friend of mine was putting together a charity event for our family and I needed to take DHs truck to a friends to get fixed so one Friday last June, I took the truck, spent the night at the friends house, dropped the truck off and checked on the folks putting together the event (it was a horse show plus auction). When my friend dropped me off, DH wouldnt wake up. He had fallen into a coma. Hospice picked him up and I stayed by his side every minute until he passed that Monday morning.

When I got home from the funeral home that evening, SS was at the house with a couple of buddies, who SD was yukking it up with like she hadn't lost her father 12 hours earlier.

Let me interrupt myself by stating that DH did not have much, what personal property (vehicles, etc) he did have was in my name or willed to me. He left nothing to the skids and gave me no special instructions on distributing his things though I asked several times. But, despite that, I knew SS didn't have a car, and DH had a 2 seat stick shift truck in addition to his large diesel. It wasnt worth much, I couldnt drive it and 2 seats did not help me at all. So when I pulled up, I threw SS the keys and told him "if you can drive it, you can have it".

The next couple days I was overloaded with funeral plans and such. But evertime I came home, SS was there with one of his buddies who SD was hanging all over. On the third day, I raised an eyebrow at me maw and said "I dont think its very healthy for her to be that attached to someone right now" and hoo boy, did I get chewed a new one. "I'll tell YOU whats unhealthy..." she started then ripped into me because SD had too many responsibilities and too few freedoms. Dumbfounded, I could do nothing but shut up and nod.

The funeral was held that Friday. It went rather well, I must say, very little drama except SD bringing along her new boytoy but I let it slide to not create a scene. DH was chronically late, so I arranged for the casket to roll in 5 minutes after the start of service. Instead of flowers, a horse blanket draped the casket. From the messages delivered (from the preacher, his mom and myself) to the song selection, it was a fitting tribute. I spent less time planning our wedding.

The charity event was scheduled for the following day. It had been in the works for several weeks, it was just coincidence that it followed the funeral. I had every intention to attend. Until around midnight after the funeral, I was on the computer doing something and saw where SD had been online 30 minutes earlier. The rule was her laptop was to stay downstairs. She had gone to bed a few hours earlier so I went in her room to confiscate the laptop, when I found a cell phone. SD was not allowed to have a cell phone, and as I scrolled through the text messages I found exactly why I had made that rule. Pictures. Of herself. Shes 16. I took the phone.

Me maw demanded it back first thing in the morning. I'd had it. She knew that was the rule and she came into my home with the intention of breaking that. She was very embarrassed when she found out I was right. I took SD to my inlaws, who decided to send her to GA with her uncle for a few weeks. My father in law and his brother in law came back to my house to help me talk to me maw. She ended up being insanely disrespectful and told me to shut up, in my own damn dining room. I kicked her the hell out. And I missed the damn charity event dealing with this bullshit

Then SD and SS turned my mother in law against me, accusing me of all sorts of crazy shit. against her father's wishes (which were stated in the will) to continue to live with me, SD naturally decided to go live with my in laws instead. Less then a week of that, I showed them the dirty messages she was still sending to boys and when they confronted her, she said screw this I'm living with me maw. My inlaws saw the error of their ways and we made amends but things will never be the same.

I loved SD as my own. I tried my hardest to be the mother she needed and deserved. She was doing so well until her me maw came around. And it killed me to have her walk out on me. Honestly it hurt worse than losing my husband. She didnt just walk out on me, but her little sisters who adored her, who she helped me raise (not to speak ill of the dwad, but DH was a shitty father, he was always too busy then too ill to ever take care of or even play with them). When she came to get her stuff, they were banging on the window, crying, screaming out her name. I wont ever forgive that.

She'll regret it all down the road. But it'll be too late..