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Parental Rights????

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:07am

With the newest development with BM, DH is wanting to find out if there is anyway to make sure the kids stay with me if anything should happen to him. I do have a call into our attorney, but wanting to see what you all knew or thought.

If the only way is to strip BM of her parental rights, how hard is that to do??

I would hate to think that if something horrible happened to DH (god I can't think of life without him) that I would lose the kids and they would lose the only stable home they have ever had. I am willing to do whatever it takes for my skids because they are so young and deserve the best life and every chance to succeed in life.

Comments

SourGrapes's picture

Submitted by SourGrapes on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:13am

I don't have an answer to your question, but you sound like a great mom! Your skids are lucky to have you.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:19am

Thank you!! I try very hard to be a good mom, wife and person. I fail almost everyday at one of them sometimes all of them, but I won't give up.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:22am

My BM is currently locked up and has only supervised visitation with the kids that she doesn't utilize.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:20am

Okay, so what happens if BM is locked up and something happens to DH, guess the Bio grands

Glassslipper's picture

Submitted by Glassslipper on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:42am

I remember when this was all over the news...it was an adoption situation....
Mother signed over her child, the adoptive parents raised her for 2 or 3 years, then Bio-mom wanted the child back, and the case dragged on and on, went to the surpreme court, and they rules in the favor of the bio-mother, made a ruling that all children should be with the biological mother if the option is available.
So you can have BM sign over rights, but that doesn't make it a forever thing???

My lawyer told me that should anything happen suddenly to BOTH parents and they kids needed to go somewhere, custody order goes: Maternal mother, Maternal Father, Paternal Mother, Paternal Father.
SO if you and DH die in an accident and BM is in jail, BM's mother would be the first to be given the children in my state...

Good Luck my dear...
If I were you I would take the parental rights paperwork to her in jail and just ask her to sign...she just might...

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:45am

Not sure but I have heard that rapists get rights so I'd think that its blood all the way when down comes to it. If you ask me, I think that criminals get more rights than law abiding citizens all bc they study the law when they are locked up so I'd assume that in the event of the dad dying, the BM would have/get custody... :?

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:46am

It is in DHs CO that if anything happens to him BM cannot take the kids from our home. I am their guardian and we didn't ask for that. The judge said when he gave BM supervised visits he was taking a lot of rights away so someone needed to step up and of course it was me. It can be done and I'm surprised it wasn't already in your situation as we are also in the same state.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 11:51am

I do have a call into our attorney, so maybe just maybe she will come up with something. I will tell her this for sure though.

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:01pm

I hope she can for your and the kids' sake. It shouldn't be difficult from what our judge said it was a law that he had to give the rights to someone else.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:03pm

The SS would be nice and would help if anything happens to DH but I would let the bat shit crazy BM have the money if that meant I kept the kids.

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:07pm

True!

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:06pm

That's a good question and something we hadn't thought of. DH is planning to take a day off of work to go to the SS office anyways because BM is on SSDI so pays no CS. DH was told not long ago that he could be claiming funds for the kids directly through them. I will have him ask about that.

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:12pm

We already know that the disability doesn't count as income, therefore no CS from BM

My own father was also Mia for years and I have 5 siblings. He came back onto the radar and was put on disability so my mom doesn't even get any of the back CS.

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:34pm

One of guys that works at the store on base is legally blind and gets some help from disabiltiy payments. He told me that before his kid aged out, part of his disability check was going to BM for CS.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 12:11pm

Leave it alone...You can't get the kids. We looked into it and I have no rights for SS16, who we have full custody of.

dogtac69's picture

Submitted by dogtac69 on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 7:33pm

Unless there is something horribly wrong with BM, she would get the kids. You might try DH getting sole custody now before something happens. But outside of that, you will be at the mercy of BM if something happens to DH.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Wed, 01/07/2015 - 10:34am

DH has sole custody legal & physical, BM only has supervised visitation that has to be done at her cost at a parenting time center

Cruella2761's picture

Submitted by Cruella2761 on Tue, 01/06/2015 - 7:51pm

Well I adopted my Skids years ago. In my state if a parent does not make contact with the kids for a certain amount of time (6 months in my state) and does not provide support for the kid then it leaves a wide open door for a Step to adopt. I adopted my 3 skids since my DH was the custodial parent and I basically took over as the Mother. BM lived out of the country and abandoned her kids.

Also does BM contact the children at all? Just because she is in jail does not mean she can't write a letter or email. Check out your state laws.

Also it isn't true that the kids will jump back to BM. My kids want nothing to do with BM due to the fact she could have cared less about them and they knew it. My kids have flourished with the adoption. 2 are over the age of 18 now and my youngest will be 18 in August. CPS did a home study for the adoption and found that the mother abandoned her children and stripped BM of her parental rights. Abandonment is abuse.

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Wed, 01/07/2015 - 10:37am

She keeps in contact just enough, but doesn't see them or hasn't paid a dime in support

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Wed, 01/07/2015 - 8:48am

The attorney told us it was a year here for it to be considered abandonment. You can fight to get the rights stripped but that is very pricey he to us it would probably be 60k or more depending and as long as she showed an interest to the judge, we would more than likely lose.

If BM were to sign over her rights the adoption process would still be in the ball park of 10k. And take a lot of time too. With the background check, home study, all kinds of things but well worth it.

The judge or CPS can also take her rights from her which opens the door for step adoption. It seems to me that this might happen in your case..maybe wishful thinking but yes I really hope so.

Our attorney explained this to us without us even asking BC he said it didn't seem like it would take her long to mess up again.

Fingers and toes crossed for you!