Since SD doesn't have a counselor, I wanted DH and I to go a counselor to work on our issues (which mostly stem from being blended, but some other things). Insurance recommended a guy, and I looked him up on his website. He looked older, which I was fine with because my DH is in his late 40's (I'm in my late 20's). He had an extensive background, but it listed nothing about blended families. However, there was a ton of other stuff and degrees listed so I thought he would be great.

I was wrong.

DH went to two counseling sessions with Dr. Evil towards the end of their marriage. It did NO good. The counselor focused in on Dr. Evil attacking DH, which infuriated Dr. Evil and when the counselor tried to question DH he apparently talked circles around the counselor. They quit going. When I brought up counseling to DH, he was skeptical it would help, because it didn't help him and Dr. Evil. Ummmmm....Freud himself couldn't have helped DH and hex.

We went today, DH mumbling about how this was wasting his time, our relationship is fine, blah blah blah. I said that our relationship IS fine, but this is about making it STRONGER or else the situation with SD and custody trial will tear us apart. I was hoping we could have a third party help us establish discipline, tell us how to deal with the alienation, and get DH more open to communicating with hex.

The counselor was still in the exact same Mr. Rogers sweater that he was in on the picture on his website. Except he looked 25years older now. He looked like he was pushing 80. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with growing old. I'm not ageist. But I was hoping he could be closer to DH's age to be relatable. He also could barely hear what I was saying. We only got as far as the alienation, which he basically reaffirmed the fact that we can't control it. I started breaking down crying, because I can't deal with my 9yr old SD coming to me with "secrets". Then DH spent the rest of the hour telling him how crazy Dr. Evil is, how he needs to remove SD from the negative environment, etc. Nothing about his faults on parenting SD-The Disney Dad lifestyle, the permissive parenting, his procrastination and how he makes excuses for SD. Mr. Rogers took a very clinical approach to the matter. He droned on with psychological babble. He wasn't a counselor that had relatable advice. I actually looked at his bookcase and the EXACT same textbook I used for Intro the Psychology my freshman year of college (so boring and dry) was there. Then he monologued about how he did all this work with delinquent children who were in the system, alcoholics, etc.

DH and I left, and he commented, "See? The counselor said we cannot control what Dr. Evil says to SD. That's what I've been telling you all along! Do you feel better?"
"I guess."

So it was a good idea, but it went nowhere.

Side note- DH and I debated on when Dr. Evil should get served with custody modification papers. I say next week. DH says no, that's Christmas week. He wants it done the week after. Um...no. That's the week Dr. Evil has SD. I DO NOT want SD at the house when Hex is served with the papers. I KNOW she will read the papers to SD, and the wrath she will feel will flow free. Sorry if hex's Christmas week is ruined by this. I know that makes me a horrible person. But I would rather hex be devastated than SD be even more emotionally damaged by watching her mom get served and be told, "Well its happening...your dad is trying to take you away from me again."
Any advice?