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Do you share StepTalk with your spouse?

SecondGeneration's picture

Just curious. How many of you share StepTalk with your partners or is Step-Talk your secret haven?

For me I found StepTalk because I wanted to prepare myself, my parents divorce was dramatic, the usual games followed. When I started dating my partner I expected the same level of crazy (he and BM were never married, SD was an oops whilst dating, BM was actually on birth control and Drs actually thought she was ill rather than pregnant to begin with)
This is actually my second account, I deleted my first account after getting frustrated with Mr Orange County and his continual "run run run" replies to pretty much any post. Now, I have to admit, Ive missed his input around the place!
My partner and I have been together for nearly two years, we are not yet married. SD is 4, and a lovely little girl. So far we have had zero drama from BM (I am thankful for that but I keep my guard and am aware that drama may or may not come later- however given her attitude so far I doubt it)

One of the ways in which I have found StepTalk so useful is not only to arm myself with understanding from other peoples experiences but also to keep open dialogue with my boyfriend over some of the things that go on in Step-Life.
That and after telling him some of the things that get posted on here he gets so p*ssed at some of the dads out there.

Comments

luchay's picture

LMAO - yes me too. That's pretty much the response I got.

And every time I tell him something I read (anywhere) that I thought could help us he would sneer about it and ask if I got it from here....

luchay's picture

OMG - and that is one of those pure gold moments when you realise that no matter HOW BRILLIANTLY it is worded, they just are never going to get it!

Teas83's picture

That's what my husband has said too. He also said some people on here seem crazy. I told him if they are it's because they're in these shitty step situations.

Steppy MN2's picture

are you kidding? I had my now eXH read Stepmonster and he said he didn't agree with much of what as said in that book (I knew I was doomed at that point).................I mentioned about this site but don't know if he ever went on it but I'm sure if he did he thought it was a bunch of mean. vindictive women who hated stepkids.

redtiger74's picture

I read an excerpt from Stepmonster to DH and he flipped out, thinking that I meant that he was doing all of the things referenced in the excerpt. He wasn't. It was more to help him understand how I feel about our step situation, but he took every word literally. And as our therapist has pointed out, he's a literal/concrete thinker incapable of thinking in the abstract. So as a result, I don't think showing him StepTalk would help much.

Glassslipper's picture

Nutella...LMAO

I stopped buying Nutella because of Step Talk, I bough a jar Thursday, read about it on here Friday, was planning to throw it out when I got home but I was too late! SD ate the whole jar already!
EWWWWW!

Ninji's picture

I have told SO about the site and share stories with him but I never tell him about the things that I post.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

My DH knows I post on here. But we agreed that he would never come on here and read the things I post. It is my one place to vent. I do sometimes read him what I write about BM. He knows my opinions on her. But sometimes, I need a place to vent my frustrations with him or with the SDs.

No saint's picture

Total and utter secret; I really dislike not sharing, but I fear it might be misinterpreted.

Teas83's picture

I've made my husband read some of things I've written so he can see everyone's responses. It helped to make him see that I'm not delusional for being concerned about some of the things I'm worried about with SD.

However, he's also gotten mad when he sees people saying he's an idiot, etc. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

My husband knows ST very well. I show him my blogs and everyone's responses. However, he also knows I remove them pretty quickly so there is limited potential for exposure. I think it helps him to know there are other PD women out there who other people struggle with. He is usually amazed by how similar stories are. He feels for the kids caught in the dysfunction.

Tuff Noogies's picture

ditto. }:)

Glassslipper's picture

He knows I have a "secret website" where I "trash him and air our dirty laundry"
...yea, he's that kinda guy...
I keep it to myself Smile

blayze's picture

Mine knows I come here, but I always open a private window so that the history isn't tracked. He also thinks it's just a bunch of women bitching. Welllll, one day during an argument, he went on the computer and found a "GREAT" blog that showed his side. He left it on the computer for me to read.

I looked and said, "What are you doing on that site? You know that's the forum I go to."

He goes, "Oh that's the 'leave your husband' site?" And he quickly shut everything down.

I just laughed...