I know what you mean!!!! MY DH wants custody of two kids with BM2 and I want that too for their own sakes and healths. But due to her being off the wall and unfit I worry when they are home with her, but also I too enjoy my life and the quiet more when they are not here full time. I know if they do live here, we can help them mentally and physically to recover from having a bad mom, but I too enjoy when I have a break from them. Not so much due to their presence here, but due to the high conflict of their mom and what the fall outs are from her when they leave etc. Do I worry when they go with her? Hell yes! Do I worry when they are here hell yes! All due to her selfishness and the shit she does to them in retaliation for us being good to them etc. But at the same time, we dont have much conflict with BM1 anymore or those two older boys, so weather they are here or not there is not issues. I do not really love her, but she is a good mom and the kids love her, so it is all good in that way. But I do love just having DH all to myself! He is my husband why wouldnt I? He is also less needy with out all kids here. When all kids are here, he loves it so much, he wants to snuggle all the time and make babies with me. I am still on fence about the baby making with him! Not because of what kind of dad he is, he is a great one to all kids, but due to my own feelings. But I do love the peace of just DD here or when she is with her grams, no kids! It is so quiet!