Blowout!!
Friday night SD's dad picked them up from school like he does. I planned a nice evening with my lady looking forward to a no arguing and fighting weekend. Around 4 I was told the girls we going to be dropped off because their dad had something planned for the evening and they would be picked up tomorrow around noon. I blew a fuse. I said hell no. Their mom and I get it done durning the week and get it done having them with us. The girls father works outta town durning the week so he is not around to help us out when we have a full plate and need to get them to sport practices school functions etc. So, i made a ass out of myself and boy did it feel good. As her and I were going back and forth he pulled in the driveway to drop them off I said noway he can figure it out and deal with it on his time with them. I was not going to bite my tongue any longer. I said either you handle it or Im going to handle it. Their dad is one of hem guys that stand 5'5 and thinks hes a badass behind my back but never has anything to say to my face man to man but anyways. So she told him and he got pissed. They went with their dad and they come back tonight. Their mom says they think I didnt want them around but thats not the case. I wanted they POS dad to figure it out like a big boy for once when it was his weekend. Not sure how to make them understand that?
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I was gonna say what
I was gonna say what foreverstacey said in a not-so-rough way lol. Sometimes, NCP gives up their visits entirely. If he has the kid every weekend & works out of town 5 days a week, he may do it more often than someone in a different situation. It sucks, but you can't make him take his visitation.
I have to be honest here. I
I have to be honest here. I get that you need a break from the kids. Really, I do. But this isn't about you. It's about the kids. If the NCP said he was going to get them for the weekend he should get them. It really traumatizes the kids when they NCP doesn't follow through. I've seen it happen with my niece and nephew. Their dad would say he was getting them for the weekend they would get all excited and something would always "come up" and he wouldn't get them. They would be heartbroken.
Being a stepparent is hard. But you have to think about how all this stuff affects the kids.
Yeah, but the truth is -
Yeah, but the truth is - apparently OP doesn't think the SD's father is the best. Maybe he is a cut rate piece of crap father. So that means, sometimes - on his weekends he isn't going to pull through. Yes it flipping sucks. But it happens.
Now OP's SO doesn't have to let him disrupt her household, she can say "take them the whole weekend or not at all" or she can just deal with this crap. There's really no easy way around it. But skids always take their parents side, so what you don't want it SD saying "ooo mean ol OP wouldn't let me come home to mommy's house when daddy had to run errans"
OH LORD but your situation is
OH LORD but your situation is totally different cuz your DH isn't even HOME -sigh- what a crap fest.
Only a few more days until you move, right?
The whole thing is really
The whole thing is really comical when you stand back & look at it. Like it's so sad it's funny. Smh.
Kids are great observers and
Kids are great observers and terrible interperters. Of course they think it is about them. I don't care how old they are, sit them down and tell them that you love them (if you do) or care about them and enjoy all their sports/dance/girlscouts etc. Bring up the events of Friday night and explain that it is about how you were frustrated that their dad is not there as much as he is supposed to be (there is a court order outlining when he picks up and drops off - right). Explain that being a mom or a dad is not just about being there for the children when it is convenient. It is an all the time job. Don't bash the dad but let them know you were upset because he is not holding up his end of the bargain. End the conversation with a reminder of how much you like, care, or love them.
If you DONT talk about it, it will only make them believe that you don't want them even more than they already do.
OP didn't do anything wrong.
OP didn't do anything wrong. He took control of his own home, man to man. We have skids every freaking weekend and we manage to get stuff done. It was the bio dad that was out of line. He is the one who made the girls feel unwanted, not the stepfather.