Teen SD
I confirmed what I have suspected for a while that SD17 and her boyfriend have had sex. She said it was just once and they haven't since then but I'm not sure I'm buying it. And if it was just once that's because I finally showed DH (by making him read SD's text messages) that things were happening at the BF's house even when his parents were home because they allow the kids to be in the BF's room unattended. SD hasn't been allowed to go to BF's house since then.
So the questions of this week is: Put SD on birth control or not?
I'm on the fence here, DH doesn't want to talk about it and BM is "Catholic" and doesn't believe in birth control.
Just curious, especially anyone that has teenage girls, how do we handle this? We've talked about not having sex, what needs to be used if you forget rule number 1 in the heat of the moment, etc. But I'm not nieve enough to think that a teenage couple that's been together for a year isn't going to be experimenting here. And really, I'm too young to be a grandma!
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Yes BC.
Yes BC.
I would put her on BC. I
I would put her on BC. I would also show her disgusting pictures of STDs and let her know that she slept with any girl his bf slept with. I would let her know she can get prego with precum, kids make bad choices in regards to sex bc they are misinformed by their dumb friends. She probably isn't ready for sex and if they want to they will continue to sneak off and do it if yall give her info, she can't act like she has no idea how she got prego. I get the whole no BC thing bc I am Catholic but at the same time, are yall ready to be step gma and gpa?
YES to BC 100%. Since DH is
YES to BC 100%. Since DH is against for sex, maybe you can convince him using other tactics (regulates period, clears skin). I've been on BC since 14....LONG before I was having sex or even thinking about it due to ovarian cysts
Does your H's CO say they
Does your H's CO say they have share medical happenings with each other? If so you may have to tell BM, but for God's sake get her on BC.
BTW....Once my ass!
Yeah, and it was just the tip
Yeah, and it was just the tip and just for one second. And I didn't like it.
I remember telling my mom the
I remember telling my mom the exact same thing, this is how we all know SD is lying.
Catholics aren't suppose to
Catholics aren't suppose to have "pre martial" sex... So the no BC, is only suppose to be after marriage.
BM is "Catholic" and doesn't
BM is "Catholic" and doesn't believe in birth control.
But a teenage, out-of-wedlock pregnancy is okay? Seriously.
Someone needs to get this girl on birth control AND stress the importance of condoms.
I am catholic. Get her on
I am catholic. Get her on BC. If she won't take the pill, get the Depo shot. I have been on and off BC and being catholic, it has never bothered me. Having a child I wasn't prepared for, that would bother me.
So....I made an appointment
So....I made an appointment with nurse practitioner for my SD14 when she confessed having sex with her BF.I had told her way before that, that I would help her if she felt she couldn't go to her mom or dad. Her father knew and agreed that I should help her and keep her confidentiality. Didn't think it would come up at 14, but it did. State law says they can seek BC without parental consent at 13. I could take her to her doctor for BC, but not a sore throat-lol. I would do it again in a heart beat, although I did hate keeping that from her father. I raised my two, and now helping raise his two. No way in hell am I raising grandchildren on top of that. They can all recite the golden rule in our house - nobody brings home babies to live at our house!! They think its funny, but I'm deadly serious!
I agree that once you start, you don't stop.
A side note---The doctor's office sent DH a text confirming DS's appointment for BC. This was after I told them she did not want her parents to know. Then the pharmacy sent BM a voice mail telling her her daughter BC was ready to be picked up. So much for privacy
SD's primary residence is
SD's primary residence is with us, there's nothing about consulting the other party unless it's a serious medical procedure, which clearly this isn't.
I'm glad to see that everyone is with me on the BC option.
Honestly, I'm not sure how her BM would react to the birth control thing. BM had an "oops" baby with some guy she met online a few years back and mentioned something then about it happening because she didn't believe in birth control. I've been with DH for 6 years, I've known her to step foot in church a total of 2 times in all those years. Her parents are devout Catholics but she's far from a practicing Catholic.
I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son, I'm no fool about what SD and her good looking touchy feely BF are doing every chance they get. I seem to be the only one without the rose colored glasses on. Looks like I'll be making an appointment this week!
She's 17. Chances are she
She's 17. Chances are she already has birth control. Just ask her if she has done anything to protect herself if she decides to have sex again.
She's 17. Chances are she
She's 17. Chances are she already has birth control. Just ask her if she has done anything to protect herself if she decides to have sex again.
So it's ok to get preggers
So it's ok to get preggers out of wedlock and file for Mooch Support?
I'd get her on BC immediately. If BM is religious, she needs to chaperone her daughter as is proper under any religious doctrine, or marry her off, have them get a job and provide for her kid.
Trust me, I knew they
Trust me, I knew they were/are having sex. I'm the only one to my knowledge that has talked to SD about sex, protection, choices, etc. Her dad has a hard time accepting that what comes out of his precious daughter's mouth and the truth might not be the same thing. And has been "shocked" each time I've presented to him what's really happening.
I've clued him in every time I've found anything to be concerned about. I can't/don't talk to BM. She likes to pretend I don't exist. I'd love to have a cops renting relationship with her, it would be better for both the kids, but she's so paranoid that I'm "out to get her" that she won't talk to me and rarely speaks to DH.
I'll be talking to SD again this week and see what she wants to do. My fear is she's going to say that there's no reason to go on BC because they aren't doing it anymore. I'm thinking at that point I'll use the lighter cycle/clear skin benefits to sway her.
If she were my kid, it would have been handled differently at a much earlier age. My son and I have always talked openly about sex, consequences, protection, etc. SD just clams up and can't talk about what she has no problem doing. It's definitely different when it's "not your kid".
If they only did it once -
If they only did it once - they must of done it wrong. Get her a sex for beginners book along with the Birth Control.
I was an unwed teenage
I was an unwed teenage mother. GET HER ON BIRTH CONTROL!!!! I got my daughter, the one I had at age 18, on BC at 15. She is now 22, she has graduated college, she has a better job than me, and we have never had a pregnancy scare. Sex isn't about morality, it is about Biology. Teenage hormones are much stronger than teenage self control or common sense. The only way to prevent teen pregnancy is to provided access to birth control and to have a real talk with your kids about consequences. Not 'biblical' consequences but what really happens when you get knocked up or an STD. Too many parents just say don't do it, you are too young. Well their mind may be to young but their urges are on par. When I got pregnant as a teen. I thought about all the things I wish someone would have told me. That is what I told my daughter. though I I told her that sex had longer lasting consequences than the hour in the bedroom. I made certain she understood that every pre-sexual encounter was really an 'audition/interview'. The question she had to ask herself is if this guy gets her pregnant , can she handle dealing with him and his family for the next 18 years? Will he really step up? Is she ready to give her life/freedom up to be a parent?