I always say I'm one of the lucky ones in here. DH does the parenting when his kids are in my home. He gets groceries, cooks dinner, cleans before and after. I don't do any of that and he has never asked me to. He has never asked me to pick his kids up from school or after school care even though I drive right past them on my way home. He has never dumped his kids on me when he isn't home.

So I never would have expected this most recent exchange between the two of us. His daughter had a birthday recently. He wanted to have one on one time with her instead of a family party. For those of you who don't know, she doesn't come over for visitations anymore. He still sees her but it's at lunches, school activities, etc. I haven't laid eyes on that girl in a couple of months and I can't say I'm losing any sleep over it. I'm all for the one on one time because then I don't have to decline an invite to her celebration and get judged by his family.

He proceeds to tell me how difficult it has been planning a get together with her for the past two weeks because of all the extracurricular activities she is involved in. I nod and say, yeah, that sucks that it won't be close to her birthday but whenever they find time, it's better than nothing. He's not worried about the belated celebration, he's worried that the day she suggested is on a regularly scheduled skid weekend. I just look at him. So? Go out then. DH hits me with: wellll, if I do it on that day, then I have to figure out what to do with my son. I say: oh yeah, I guess you do. And I left it at that.

Then he acts sulky and I know he's pissed about something. So I asked him what was wrong. He doesn't know what to do with his son while he's trying to have alone time with his daughter. I suggest leaving him at the C*&%'s house. Why not? The girl would have been there anyway since she has been refusing visitations, it's not like BM would have to cancel plans due to a kid or anything. He doesn't want to do that because it means more communication with her. Understandable. So I suggest leaving his son at his parent's house. Well, that's not fair to them to treat them as if they have no plans at all and can just babysit (a freaking 11stb12 year old) on a whim.

I didn't have any other suggestions. He got sulky again. So I asked him what was wrong. He snaps at me: Well, it would have been NICE if you could have at least OFFERED to let him stay here with you while I was out.

HAHAHAHAHA. No.

So, it appears my lack of involvement in whatever he does on his kid weekends hasn't been an issue thus far in our relationship....for me. Obviously he's harboring some resentments. Not cool. He has never asked me to lift a finger for those kids and I'm really irked that he's doing it now. I don't want this thing to get bigger and uglier.

Advice? Stick to my guns and keep things the same as they've always been: not my kid, not my problem? Give in a little? Because really, the only thing I'm going to do that night is curl up on the couch and catch up on my Netflix series that DH doesn't watch with me. In theory, yes, it would have been nice if I would have offered. In reality, I fear that sets a precedent I'm not willing to live with.