PAS by BD
This is my first posting. I have been reading for awhile. I am just waiting fr a signature on my divorce and that year and a half of my life is over!!! I have sole legal custody of my kids, BF gets 3 weekends a month. I live with my kids, my boyfriend and his kid. I have court again on Monday to handle his contempt of court he filed against me over phone calls. He flat out lied in the paperwork, I have txts and phone records to prove it. We will also be dealing with an motion to show cause. He had the kids bs6 and bd8 for spring break. They are in counseling as the marriage was very mentally and emotional abusive. I have a restraining order against him for te next 3 years. Anyway, my mtsc is over sprin break. He " offered" 2 hours to me with kids for Easter as long as I met him across from his house ( pu/ do is at the pd if it can't be done at school) and if I follow his orders. I told him thanks but no. He told the kids I don't want to see them, tells them if the miss me they don't want to be with him, call ou house my boyfriends, tell the kids to not talk about me because he doesn't care.. The list of things he has said to them is very long. Counsler saw my sons aggression level durin spring break and now backs supervised visits. This post is more just my story and introduction. We have issues here with boyfriends kid but bf and I have no problems backing each other. More on her later. How do I counter PAS?? I stick with truth without putting bf down but counsler has told me they are mad at him for lying to them. I would love a weekend to relax and not stress about bf running his mouth. But like I said, I have a restraining order because he doesn't control himself....
Read my post.. Bf for boyfriend and bf for bio father .. Hope it isn't to hard to understand who I mean
If you have an RO against
If you have an RO against him, it makes sense to have meet someplace like he suggested. If he's really a prick, why would he have offered time on Easter?
Read what was written, we met
Read what was written, we met at the pd if an exchange is to be done. They have cameras in the parking lot, and that is what supported my restraining order. He has told me point blank, if he even takes tem to birthday parties for their friends on his time, I need to get him make up time. There is nothing he does that doesn't have a price tag attached to it.
Sorry I was on my phone. Let
Sorry I was on my phone. Let me try to explain this a little better on my laptop. Anything that he offers comes with attachments. Even the verbal and emotional abuse was justified as at least I never hit you. I tried to be nice about things at the beginning of the divorce, and it came at the price of him threatening my boss, and my work. He use to drop off and pick up at the house. Until he came in without knocking and threatened to kill a friend that was over. Everything is a control factor, and he likes to stack up little things to than ask for a favor. but his favors are do it now.
It sounds like you need to
It sounds like you need to stick to the CO without deviating...at all. If he takes the kids to a bday party on his time, that's his time, his choice...therefore, no make up required.
Your kids are in counseling so that's a great start. Can the courts order that BD attend parenting classes or some kind of counseling? The poor kids...
Yeh, poor kids. They have
Yeh, poor kids. They have cried for an hour getting off the phone with him, cried for hours prior to visits. They love dad but are very hurt by his words and scared of his anger.
Sounds like a nightmare. In
Sounds like a nightmare. In time he will probably lighten up...just trying to exert control. Try to detach from him or you are continuing the cycle. Once you both move on it should get easier. ((hugs)) everything will be alright.
When he drives you crazy think to yourself, "I am doing what is best for myself and my children. I win. "