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DawnD's picture

I not sure how to start this but here we go. I have been with my husband and his children since 2008. When I moved in the girls were only 9 and 10 years old, they are now 15 and 16. Things were wonderful until Summer of 2013, when their mother who was never involved in their lives, decided she now wanted to be mommy after be served with a warrant for her arrest for non payment of child support, she only paid $260.00 per month for 3 children. Long story short, she called the police on us, made false reports, came to our home and would argue with my husband about never having had a chance to be their mom and how he should let her be one now. She called Child Protective Services and had an investigation opened on nothing but lies, which of course the case was closed and no abuse or neglect was found, that is what she claimed. Our lives became a living hell, constantly wondering when the next knock at the door would occur. One day when I got home from work our house was being searched, drawers gone through, safe busted open, cabinets tore through because the mother said we were on drugs, again, nothing found, no charges because it wasn't true. My husband although I said we should file papers for custodial interference, and have a restraining order put in place he decided to let his girls live with their mother. We both have good jobs, and we pay all of the insurance, all the co-pays which is $5000.00 a year, which we always have to pay because one daughter has Type 1 Diabetes and $5000.00 is our deductible, now we have to provide a car and car insurance as well as all clothing, all dental, vision, school fees and activities, all camps, basically everything except the food they eat when they are at their mothers, she gets to claim both the girls on her income taxes, and if the girls want to go to the movies, a fair, a party we have to pay any expenses related to those activities as well. Our obligation is over $1000.00 a month. The girls come to visit and all they do is say terrible things to their father, constantly make fun of me and laugh at me, refuse to clean any mess they make, which they do intentionally and will literally drop something on the kitchen floor and look at me and laugh, step on it and walk away. My husband will not do anything to correct them because he's doesn't want to make them mad. I love my husband but I'm about to file for divorce, I just can't take it any longer.

Comments

DawnD's picture

We actually do have to provide these things, it's in the agreed order my husband and his ex wife came up with.

kathc's picture

Wow.

Your husband sounds like yet another ballless wonder that lets BM and his speshul snowflakes do whatever the eff they want.

He either needs to grow a set or, yes, you should just divorce his dumb ass.

DawnD's picture

I'm sorry I don't understand some of the language. What is BM? The statement I made about the divorce is correct that is my intention. I work in a law office I can get this completed in a couple of weeks, it just makes me sick because I do love him and until last year the girls did not treat us this way, he did discipline them but everything has changed now. It's very sad.

DawnD's picture

I'm obviously on the wrong site, I expected support and understanding, not a bunch of people calling me or my husband stupid or idiots. We are both well educated and both have careers. We have money jointly and separately. I just wanted to know I wasn't the only one out there facing these type of issues.

Shaman29's picture

Well educated people weigh all options and consider all outcomes before signing legal documents.

Well educated people do not agree to handing over full custody to someone this damaged or to paying not only for CS but also for all extra expenses.

Seems to me you both wanted the easy way out of your situation by throwing the skids and money back at her, assuming she'd be out of your life.

How's that working for you?

Also....your attorney is a genius.

ctnmom's picture

(Sang to the tune of "I Wanna Talk About Sex") I wanna talk about Crew, baby , I wanna talk about Crew baby, I wanna talk about all the true stuff and the false stuff that may be , let's talk about CREW.....

calm retreat's picture

Dawn D,
I wouldn't be able to take that either. At this point you should find out if DH is willing to discontinue their visits, since he's not able to discipline. He's no good to them if he can't parent them. He's turned into what we call a Disneyland Dad. So what's the point. As far as CS, welcome to the club and deal with it. ((Sorry, Hugs)). $1000 a month doesn't sound like it's too far out of the norm. That's 500 a kid, that's about right. I'd gladly do without, then have to deal with having my SD around.:evil: