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Taking Pictures

JAMS2011's picture

Submitted by JAMS2011 on Sat, 05/31/2014 - 9:42am

How do you guys handle taking pictures at important events? Examples: Proms, Graduations, Weddings, Awards Ceremonies, Plays, Recitals, Baptisms, Est.? I am the Step Mother and only one of my children is a step child and that child is also the oldest child I have and so she is always the first. Just curious to know how you guys take pictures. Do you get a individual picture of the birth parents and the kid? do you take a picture of ALL parents as in step parents and real parents? Is it okay for my inlaws to take pictures with BM? What are the rules associated with this?

Comments

SM with BM from hell's picture

Submitted by SM with BM from hell on Sat, 05/31/2014 - 11:21am

I agree with this. I think as long as everyone is comfortable then go with what works for you guys.

mommy of two's picture

Submitted by mommy of two on Sat, 05/31/2014 - 6:28pm

So I posted a new forum question this morning, but for some reason it didn't post, so I'll put it here for now... I had the same question! Last night during prom pictures, I was taking a picture of DH and SD when SD pulled in her BM for the picture. I had no choice but to stand there and take the picture, and then deleted it right away after. But, her boyfriends parents, whom I just met, took the picture too so I am sure SD will get a picture of it.

Let me say... I've been with her father since she was just turning three years old. My husband and I have two biological children of our own, ages 8 & 10, and SD lives with us b/c her and her step father don't get along. They are both to blame for that relationship, she at one time told him she hated him and would never love him, after living under his roof and going on vacations he paid for for ten years. Very selfish of her.

Anyway, I was totally blindsided by this picture and very upset. I ended up walking out of the picture session and taking my girls home (DH and I had separate cars). DH doesn't get what the big deal is. The big deal is that I'm sorry for this, but SD has two families. She hss my husband and I with our children and she has her mother and SD and their children. Her family is not her, her mother and my husband. I'm just glad my girls were already at the playground and missed the picture. They would not have understood.

I should mention, that BM has said numerous cruel things about me to SD and also to my face and to DH. She has also insulted my father to SD and myself. This is not a kind woman or anyone that we have a relationship with.

Graduation is coming up next week and I expect SD to try and do this again. I've asked DH to say something to her, but I don't think he gets why I'm so upset. It's like she took any value I have in her life and stomped on it. At least that is how I feel. She has been raised by two families, not one. These two haven't raised her in 15 years. Thoughts please?

JAMS2011's picture

Submitted by JAMS2011 on Thu, 06/05/2014 - 7:30am

I understand your feelings totally. That is how we do things. The whole here is a family and there is a family. I am sorry if it is difficult for the child to understand but the fact of the matter is: your parents made choices and DECIDED that they didn't want to be together anymore. They knew they had you and that they would have to share you but they split anyway. Why should everyone be put in awkward situations because one of those parents cannot get over the decision that they made.
I don't know what it is about a picture that is so meaningful but it is! Just like if you were at a party and a group of your friends got together to take a picture but handed you the camera. It is insulting. But then again if it is someone you don't like and everyone says "lets all get together for a picture" the first thing you would do is be like nahhhhh i'll get in the next one haha.
My husband and his ex don't communicate at all so they do not raise her.