So I'm trying to convince myself that this is being done strictly so that a time and a place is set but I'm really not sure so I'm going to ask for some opinions. Lately BM has been saying stuff like "I need a regular schedule" and "we need a specific drop off time" she even said something about "I'm drafting up a custody agreement so would you rather have her two weeks during the summer or blah blah blah"
I personally as the SM would LOVE to have something in writing that states what the rules are so that she can't go back on them whenever she wants to. She is anything but "routine". For example: on Tuesday she saw me and asked me when "I" would be picking up SD from her house. I told her that I did not pick up SD that was something that DH did. So then she asked what time DH would be picking up SD and I told her that was something that she would need to discuss with DH (She has this terrible habit of getting her mom to call or my MIL to call to find things out instead of BM just talking to DH and working things out it makes things too complicated so I simplify it by not answering any questions like that) So then she goes on to say "well I need to know because I am planning on taking her to a pool that day" Again I said that was something that DH would need to decide. So she texted DH and he said that he could just pick her up from school that Thursday. She told him not hat would work because she was planning on taking SD to a water park (it thunder stormed all Thursday BTW) and normally if she gets out of school on a Thursday or doesn't go back until a Tuesday we keep her the WHOLE weekend. It is how we have done it all year so it made sense for him to assume that would be what they would do. So she gives him the spill about going swimming on Friday and in his mind, and mine, we are thinking okay so she isn't wanting us to pick her up until the afternoon because she is actually going to spend some time doing stuff with her. Good job. No not good job. Because we were both working we couldn't get her so DH step mom told her she was going to pick up the child for a sleep over with her cousins. She says I will be by about 4:30 to pick her up. BM got upset and was like WHAT? but I thought DH wanted her EARLIER than that?? So confused! She was thinking that SD would be picked up before lunch. Though she said she wanted to take her swimming? When she got there to pick her up at BMs house BM was sitting in her car with SD wearing shorts that were so short her butt cheeks were hanging out of them and a skin tight tube top shirt. As soon as SD5 got out of the car BM shut the door and drove off. I guess she had to get to her party. At least this is what I was told my FIL.
Long story short she said she wanted her picked up, then she didn't want her picked up, then she didn't want her picked up too early, then the pick up was too late. The schedule isn't regular ever!!
Mothers day: she didn't say anything all week about seeing SD. Didn't say anything all weekend about seeing SD. On Mothers Day didn't say anything until about 7PM she sent a text that said "can SD stay here tonight?" We were over at a friends house playing and we told her that BM just texted and wanted to know if she wanted to stay over there tonight and she said she wanted to finish playing with her friends first then she would let us know. By 8PM she was done playing and she said she wanted to see BM for mothers day so we had SD call BM and she told her sorry but she was an hour away about to watch a rated R movie with a "friend" in a city that is about an hour away from where she lives. I mean...was she texting as she pulled out of her driveway???
Memorial Day: we took the kids to the zoo and at 5PM she says "I'm coming by your house now and I'm picking up SD because I am ready to see her" to which DH response by telling her that we are not there so by 6PM she calls him and says that he needs to keep SD. Say what?? He told BM no that we were on the way back and when we got back he would drop her off because he had already told SD that she was going to BMs house and he already told work he could go in early.

I am just curious as to why all of a sudden is she saying "I need a routine please" when it is normally her who breaks the schedule. She said What ever time you pick her up is what time you need to have her back. So he said that works he will pick her up at 8PM and drop her off at 8PM. She didn't like that response either. She gave him what some response that was like "you never do what you say you are going to do...whatever!" the thing is he ALWAYS does what he says he is going to do?

Just wanted to vent it out and hear some responses as to why she is saying things like she is drafting a custody agreement and why she needs a routine schedule. What has your experience told you about when they do this?