I have been gone from this site for over a year! After an "a-ha moment", she and I were actually on speaking terms for about a week and a half. Tra la la, rose-colored glasses, happy happy joy joy- DH laughing the whole time because he knew it would travel to hell in the proverbial hand basket before long. Which it did, of course, because BM is a narcissist. Anyway, it was nice for the time and I must admit that the anger I have for her is nothing compared to what I used to feel, so it was a healing experience of a sort.

She has done nothing "post-worthy" during this time. Of course she has played games with money she owes us, said nasty things about both of us, and alienated the whole time....but lately her alienation has grown in epic proportions and it is really starting to get SSs9 down. She shows them texts and emails between their parents, calls their father horrible names, tells them that he loves DS2 more than he loves them, etc...that when they are a bit older she is going to tell them all about what a horrible person their father is. They cried to him and he told them that he was going to try to get it to stop. He filed a violation- for her to stop alienating and keep lines of communication open. (She plays block/unblock games constantly, a classic NPD attempt to control and changes rules so that the other party will have to adjust to HER new whims). As of now DH cannot ever reach SSs when they are with her.

He got a little surprise from family court the other day: a counter, filed by her, for sole physical custody of the boys.

In the whole five years they've been divorced, the custodial arrangement is the only thing that has actually worked. She travels frequently for work and guess who takes them when she can't? Not to mention that there is really nothing that would suggest to a judge that DH should not have his children. Alas, family court doesn't always have best interest of the children in mind.

So again I need to start thinking about this psycho. What happens to these women? Why do some go this way and some stay sane? Someone should really do a study- but that would mean that someone has the time, resources and inclination to give a flying fig about stepfamilies.

Does anyone else have experience with a situation like this? Her counter seems ridiculous and like she's just trying to cloud the real issue. We haven't had a chance to speak to a lawyer yet (DH filed by himself and until this point had not planned to use an attorney). Just wondered about Steptalkers' wealth of experience....