You are here

OT - Negotiating with Men! UGH!

Stick's picture

Ok... I am an independent contractor / self employed individual. I sometimes get work W2 and sometimes I am 1099. Each job is different.

When I was starting out and I was so young and naive, I used to think that I wouldn't turn into one of "those" women, that would complain about a double standard... etc etc.

Boy - was I DUMB!!

At each of my jobs, I have to renegotiate my salary. Sometimes, I am 2nd in command. Sometimes I am first.

I have been passed over and put as 2nd and then ended up fulfilling all of the duties of the 1st spot. I have been told that I "snap" when I have seen men go off 10 times worse and backstab each other with the best of them! It's crazy.

Well, now I am negotiating for a job in the next year. I hate it. I can't stand the double talk. I thought the issue was dead and then - one of the guys I worked with said... Hey! You could have gotten this $$$! So I asked him... Really? And he said "Yeah.. well, you would have had to ask for it..."... So I call the gentleman hiring. I tell him that I'd like to try negotiating again and I put together a proposal.

Well, wouldn't you know? The guy who initially told me about the money started to say I would never get that (!! WTF?) And then the guy hiring says, "Well... we can maybe come close, but you are not proposing to do x, y, and z". Mind you, Job Duties x, y, and z are in the job description of the guy that said I could get the $$ in the first place.

The only advantage I have in this negotiation is that I am willing to walk away from it. I have 3 other things pending and am over the bullshit. They know what I can do. They know what I should make. If they are willing to give someone new almost the same money because they are not asking for the rest of the package that I am.... and they are willing to stumble through with someone without experience.... then what I can say.

It's just so freakin' frustrating.

Anyone else out there deal with this?

Comments

Rags's picture

Not exactly but I do have my own version of your situation. I recently modeled a new business organization that I sold to my client. Then, both my client and my company decided that I was not the guy to run the new organization that I conceptualized and sold so they hired me a new boss. My new boss makes micro managers seem very top level. This boss is at the sub-atomic particle level of micro managers.

So now I am watching the new boss disassemble the successes I have delivered over the past five years. All while both my client and company are wondering what is going wrong. I continue to raise concerns about what is going on.

Needless to say I am not pleased with the situation.

But as they say in business, this too shall pass. Only 1.5 months until I fully vest for retirement medical benefits which is one of the primary reasons why I chose to come to work for my employer. They are one of the few companies left with retirement medical which for a Juvenile onset diabetic is worth a ton of money in the long term.

The fun part will be when I get to rebuild and improve on the organization I have already built once.

Good luck with your negotiation.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

Stick's picture

Hey Steve! No offense taken.. I am 45 years old. I don't know if it's a combination of not asking for what I'm worth, or for me, personally hating that part of the deal. I always do much better when I have the option of walking away. Then my negotiation isn't tainted by other factors.

I hate to say it as a blanket statement about men. It's just that the field that I am in is dominated by men in positions such as mine. Women are becoming more common now. But overall, historically, it has been a man's position.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Amazed's picture

My only problem is patients. They treat the person who controls the practice(me) and the other office staff n nurses like sh*t then they go in and see my husband and treat him like a God. It's sickening. Then after laughing and having a lovely consult/surgery with him...they come out and treat the staff like dirt again. My job makes me loath the general population.

~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~