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BM's warning and advice

cloudySM's picture

She had one of my stepdaughters deliver a note to me and one to DH. My note basically said he is not who he appears to be. He is emotionally abusive and selfish. I should keep my guard up because he will break my heart. He doesn't c are about anyone but himself and his penis. I should not get to attached to my step kids because it won't last long she can see it in his eyes. She also apologized for psychically attacking me because she was not herself that day.

DH's note says that he is every vile word you can imagine. That he is only with me to hurt her because he can't be with her. That he has a small penis and is lousy in bed anyways and that her sex life is so much better now. She has never been happier than the day she took off her engagement ring and pawned it. Also that I will leave him if he doesn't leave me first because he sucks.

She is just childish and immature. I think she is missing a few screws. We filed away the notes just in case we need them in the future. We won't be giving her any play by responding or acting like we've read them. While she is losing her mind I am going to keep taking self defense courses and living my life. I won't let her and her little games best me. I'm so glad I never have to see her face.

Comments

stressedstep's picture

What is it with BM's?

My BM told OH is she couldnt have him nobody will. That she loved him. That she would destroy us. OH was honest about his past, BM didnt know this. So she started spouting off s**t to me about OH. I had the greatest of pleasere when she was told that I already knew everything! lol

hannah_bananarama's picture

It's so sad that they can't let go. I had a similar experience when I got engaged to my H. The BM had previously tried to literally throw herself at him and in the early days called him in the middle of the night, pretending there was an intruder at her house. She had my SS's with her, so my H felt like he had to go check on them. Well, when he got there, the BM was stark naked, uh, pleasuring herself and she literally tried to seduce him away from me. Other than the fact that my ex would have had to be insane to consider giving me up for her, I was so shocked that she thought that would work?? She looked like a beached whale with CLOTHES ON, so I don't even want to imagine what the masses of flab and stretch marks looked like to my H, but of course he came home and told me all about it. SO, weeks later when we got engaged, she showed up to my engagement party (just family, a very small party) and had the ultimate fit. She screamed at both of us and then sat in her car sobbing outside my apartment!! She claimed she had "information" that would break our engagement and she was too stupid to realize that my H and I actually talked to each other and communicated the good AND the bad. He had told me, in horrifying detail, all about what had happened and while I was seriously grossed out and appalled, I thought it was funny more than anything. Suffice it to say, her seriously pathetic efforts didn't work and she just made a HUGE ass out of her even HUGER ass. Cray Cray BMs!

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

^^Me too. [Waving hand in the air].^^ My letter arrived via mail; SO's husband was placed on his doorstep; 2 more "anonymous" letters mailed to our house within a year.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men process, process, process. It is relatively easy to get into their heads. Took me a while to understand this whereas BM knew it from Day 1.

Do some mental manipulation of your own -- you are Glinda the Good Witch and she is the Wicked Witch.

Do NOT let DH find and re-read that letter (for some weird reason it is tempting), and you don't re-read them either. Put them in the attic.

cloudySM's picture

I stuck them in the garage in our filing cabinet. DH never goes in there lol. You might as well tell be telling him to walk over hot lava by asking him to find something in the gargage.

Mercury's picture

BM tried that with me. She wrote me an email detailing all the ways she felt "wronged" by DH. She attacked his character and accused him of all kinds of things that were supposed to shock me. It backfired. It convinced me that he was lying, alright. He had been downplaying HER level of crazy. I finally got to see how generous he was when he spoke of her. "She's not really malicious". "She loves her kids and she is a good mom". Thanks BM for showing me that my husband is a much better person than I previously thought he was.

hereiam's picture

BM over here called me, trying to give me the dirt on DH when we first started dating. I hung up on her before she could say much. Dumb bitch called back and I told her I would sue her for harassment if she ever called me again. She didn't.

If these women were so damn happy, they wouldn't feel the need to pull this crap. They are angry, bitter, miserable bitches.

DaizyDuke's picture

It makes no sense to me why people do this crap? I mean what does she care if DH leaves you or cheats on you or if you leave DH, or if he has a small penis? I mean what does she expect to accomplish from this? and the fact that she had one of her children deliver these stupid notes is just disgusting at best.

She states that she is so glad she is done with him... well then BE done with him you crazy bitch! why is the man still taking up space in your head?

I'm glad you are ignoring her, that is the best plan of action!

askYOURdad's picture

^^^^^Exactly! She sure seems to be hung up on his "small penis"

I'm pretty sure if I were done with someone I wouldn't take the time to even think about this kind of crap, let alone write a "warning"

JustAgirl42's picture

Me too. But since she has the 'everything is about me' mentality, she probably wouldn't care! Sad

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

SO had told me that once when he left BM, she called him hysterical saying she was going to kill herself (unstable enough to do it). He went over and found her kneeling on the closet floor with one of his ties wrapped around her neck attached to the low-hanging clothes rack. (Pause while I stop my uncontrollable laughter.)

Fast forward to yet another page in my step life -- Psycho BM's psycho mom comes down our long drive uninvited to "rescue" SS(then 13) because he was mad that SO and I were going to Mexico (BM had just called him and told him).

Anyhow, amidst the chaos, psycho Grandma yells, "Just wait til he hangs YOU in the closet." (here I sit laughing again).

Uncharacteristically of my usual-for-then Puritan demeanor (before being engulfed in this step drama), I respond very matter-of-factly, (for shock effect), "Well, if DH hung BM in the closet, she must have deserved it!"

The look on psycho Grandma's face was priceless. Believe you me, the little shiznet skid was getting off on the whole scene.

P.S. Been with this gentle Giant for 9 years and though he isn't perfect (and neither am I), he would NEVER hurt a woman and he is still the perfect guy for me. Just wish I had taken that second date in high school that he offered and maybe this whole step thing wouldn't even have ever occurred. Who knows?!

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Our BM sat in her backyard with a huge ass knife threatening to kill herself until her exSO, who she cheated on with DH, "stopped her."

It evidently scared him so much he came to DH begging him to marry her because he knows DH loves her deep down and is just scared about the baby.

cloudySM's picture

Lol lady face. I'm sorry you had to endure that asshole. As for my DH I like what he is swinging. I hate to see what BM thinks is large if that is what she considers small. She might just be a bit to wide if you know what I mean.

cloudySM's picture

wow goodtimes I am so sorry that would have sent me into a blind rage. Mess with me ok but mess with my family and you just signed your death certificate.

cloudySM's picture

Would have been temped to reply "having sex in your head and talking to your voodoo doll named after DH doesn't count BM"!

Living the dream's picture

That she used her own kid to "deliver" these psychotic tomes tells you all you need to know.

Run them through the shredder and put it out of your mind.

tessa12's picture

^^^^^ THIS. BM is a sad, lonely COWARD. There is nothing worse in life than being a coward. I cannot stand people who hid behind a computer screen or sadly, here, their CHILD, and talk garbage. I truly hope your SD did not open that letter. What an abusive thing to do you and DH let alone her daughter.

yepitsme's picture

BM here messaged me numerous times in the beginning saying she had sex with FDH and that he still cared about her. Blah blah blah.. Then she had the nerve to find my dad on Facebook(this was before my dad had met FDH) and message him saying that my FDH was a deadbeat and that he kicked her and his son and telling my dad that I was a whore. My dad countered it by very politely saying that he was indeed very proud of me as a daughter and that it sounded as if BM had some unresolved anger issues and that he was not the person she needed to be talking to about this stuff. He basically told her to go find help but in the most polite way possible. That put her in her place and haven't heard a peep from her since.

What I don't understand is, if FDH is such a deadbeat and horrible, why would you even consider having sex with him? I personally would not give a deadbeat the time of day. If he cared about you so much, then please take him. Our relationship was still very new. He easily could have left me and went back to BM(if he really cared about her). It was pretty obvious that she was lying after she made all the contradictory statements.. If you don't want him then why are you trying so damn hard to break us up?

usedup1's picture

Omg!!! That's twisted and more than disturbing?? Take the notes to the nearest psyche ward! I think the term for her sexual fantasies and father is called the Oedipus complex? Correct me if im wrong, but that's emotional incest at its worst! Keep her out of your home and space!! She's sick!

usedup1's picture

Sorry, I thought your stepdaughter wrote that!! Geez.. thank God it wasn't or I'd be having nightmares!!!
Retract the Oedipus complex and others referring to SD and give the notes to an attorney! !!