BM wanting to give her new baby DH's last name?

Ok this is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. BM sent an email informing DH she is having a baby (not his). She wants to give it DH's last name so that all of her kids can have the same last name. The father of her unborn child is not in the picture. This really pisses me off its weird. DH asked her to please not. But she doesn't care says we can't do anything about it so were just gonna have to live with it. I don't know. Maybe this wouldn't faze some of you but I'm just not ok with this.

cloudySM's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Yes she has his last name

Yes she has his last name still. I hate it so much. The kids schools even get us mixed up because she still goes by Mrs.DH. SO sick! Driving my nuts.

We had a similar problem with

We had a similar problem with BM's youngest (5 kids; 4 dads). She was constantly trying to pawn that brat off on us (and she IS a spoiled brat). My DH let her come over twice (I was not home). One weekend, we were picking up the skids to take to an air show and the next thing we know, the brat is coming with us (BM 'claims' the brat wanted to see DH). Brat's older sister (and boyfriend) also went with us. DH told the sister SHE was responsible for the brat. Oh, that did NOT set well! Brat was HORRIBLE. She runs their household with her tantrums - she screams, all give in to her. Any time she did not get her way, she started screaming. DH and I kept right on walking. The boyfriend was MAD, so he walked with us. At the end of it all, the sister said NEVER AGAIN. DH also told BM NEVER AGAIN will that brat be welcome - doesn't matter if her siblings go. BM is stilled ticked off about it. Tough gazongas!

Neither are we. While it is

Neither are we. While it is not brat's fault her mother is a ho, she will learn soon enough that BM has the morals of an alleycat.

My DH said after 2x of brat being there for about 1 hour, that he cannot handle her. I asked why the heck he WAS as she is NOTHING to him but a problem. He looked at me for a minute and said "You're right. No more." The little terror has never been over again. That was 2 years ago.

No kidding. DH was the only

No kidding. DH was the only father SD's older brother knew (he did know that DH was not his father) but there was no way I was taking him on. NO WAY, definitely did not sign up for that.

I would contact a lawyer.

I would contact a lawyer. That is messed up and doesn't sound legal. Also, if he is on the BC that way, your DH could have some financial obligation possibly. Get a lawyer.

It is legal. There was

It is legal. There was someone here a couple years back who had the same issue and I looked it up because I couldn't believe one could do such a thing, but guess what? A woman can put whatever name she chooses on the birth certificate so let's say my name is Patsy Cline and father's name is Johny Cash, I can name my baby Joe Cash or Joe Dirt or Joe Schmoe, or John Doe, or Dipsy Doolittle... if I so choose.

this totally sucks for poster, I would be livid but there is really nothing anyone can do about it.

If that is true that is just

If that is true that is just awful. I would make sure those kids know that DH is not that kids father. She is telling people that he is, sure of that....

Water Buffalo refused to

Water Buffalo refused to change her last name back to her maiden after the divorce. She used the excuse "it's easier this way". She didn't change it for 6 years until she got married again to Treasure Trail of Doom.

My brother-in-law's ex still continues to get preggers from various men and gives all the kids his last name. And this is 10 years after their divorce. She just had a kid 2 months ago.... same last name! BIL's wife was less than amused.

I see her point though... if

I see her point though... if she kept the name and all the other kids kept the name and the father isn't in the picture then that kid could grow up with a stigma attatched because he is different from his brothers and sisters.

I think I would do the same thing! (but only if I had kept the name myself)

Ah, a stigma the idiot BM

Ah, a stigma the idiot BM created…it's not about the kid's stigma…it's about the BM not wanting people to question why the heck her kids all have different last names...

So, she wants to "legitimize"

So, she wants to "legitimize" the kid? Gotta love it. They are sometimes crazier than I thought.

My SD's BM did that She

My SD's BM did that
She still uses my SO's last name. It pissed me off when she gave her baby the last name, because quite frankly, she doesn't deserve to use it after the way she treated my SO while they were married. Not a damn thing I can do about it though. Just feel sorry for the poor kid because at least my SD has one decent parent, he doesn't even have that.

I just meant I can't see her

I just meant I can't see her giving the baby the last name of a father the child will never know. heck, maybe she doesn't know the baby daddy's last name!

The father knowing its child

The father knowing its child has nothing to do with DH and I. That is on him and BM.

I can understand BMs wanting

I can understand BMs wanting to keep the same last name as her kids. But this is crazy. No way would I want my newest child to have the same last name as an ex.

Your dh should see if he can do something about this legally.

Generally if its BMs last

Generally if its BMs last name she can name her kid that. Its a gross situation, but it's her name too. Divorce agreements should compel BMs to go back to their maiden names. Urgh! Some random kid with DHs last name. However its BMs name too- legally.
Recommendations for keeping legs closed don't come stronger.

This is not that unusual,

This is not that unusual, especially if it is still BM's legal last name, it is certainly not illegal. If it is her last name, why would she not want her child to have the same name? Especially if the baby's father is not in the picture.

The baby's father is the one who could get a court order for BM to give the baby his last name, otherwise, she can name baby what she wants.

A last name has nothing to do with child support (whoever mentioned that).

I don't see what the big deal is. A lot of people have the same last name who are not remotely related. Who cares? It in no way makes your DH responsible for the child or related to the child or anything else.

When your DH married BM, he gave her his last name. It is now hers, which means she can give it to her kids, even if DH is not the father.

Were the guys related?

This happened to my DH before

This happened to my DH before we were married. He went and legally changed his last name. We caught a lot of flack but the people who mattered understood.

Despite the fact that there

Despite the fact that there are no paternal, legal or financial issues with your BM doing this ... that doesn't change the fact that (even if it's not meant this way) it comes off as a passive aggressive move by BM to keep further ties to your husband and "mark her territory"... or what she still considers her territory... and stick it to the new wife.