Tonight after two nights back at my own place I'm supposed to spend time with SO. I can't help but be anxious and irritable this morning. I love this man dearly. I love that he is working on himself so hard so that he can "be a better partner to me and prove that we are supposed to be together"
I hope the child stays in bed and let's us see each other. It's not the kids fault but he is such a painful reminder of how hard we have to fight to make us work. I wish I had fallen in love with a man without kids. Although so much of him of who he is is b/c he has this kid he has integrity and strong convictions, he's both mom and dad, a successful man, finishing another degree this year and a loyal friend. He understands the pains the usually only women understand, he works hard to be the best he can.

I'm not sure how I fell in love with him but it did happen and I've dated so many people that didn't meet my qualifications or "pass the test."

I hope everything goes well. He's been reading studies and articles about defensiveness and our Step Coupling book and taking notes and preparing questions for counseling, as well as the Parenting with Love and Logic book.

Hoping we can make it thru and for less anxiety about tonight and our future.
He said "I hate what i've done to you and I need to learn how to be a better partner for us" Time apart might be good for a while. I'm splitting the weeks ( I think I haven't fully decided yet, I might run away and never come back) Sun-Wed at my place Thurs - Sat at his possibly.
In another week we have a break from SS thanks to grandma. We have an out town trip planned for the two of us and some concerts that we already got tickets to for the summer/ spring.

fingers crossed