i just knew i was D.O.N.E. done. and i didnt care.

i knew by leaving i would lose my family and friends (religion's thicker than blood dontcha know, even thicker than emotional abuse apparently...). i was going out, totally and completely alone. no friends, no family, no money, no nothing.

and i didnt care.

When Captain Jack took a job in another state, after my telling him I was no longer on board for a move. He had a job opportunity here, and he took the one in another state instead. He also omitted important details in order to manipulate me into agreeing and or joining him.

The location he moved to is more remote than the original option (which had job options and I had friends there). Our marriage was already rocky and moving to this remote location would mean being removed from my entire support system and my income (jobs for outsiders are difficult to come by).

He wanted me to take a leap of faith, after years of letting me down. After manipulating me. After lies of omission. After making a decision that affected me without including me.

This was coupled with the fact that Uberskank up and left his kid behind (18 and in her last year of high school), by moving to another state on Thanksgiving as well.

She's 18 you know. Doesn't matter she has the rest of her senior year in HS to finish. She's an adult!

Want to guess who is within driving distance of the skid?? Not her parents!

That's right. Shaman.

My ex left me and wanted to 'think about things'. I was heart broken when he left (it was out of the blue). He promised we would never break up. Yet he did it in the most cold blunt manner he could. I sobbed for months. I was on meds. He wanted to think about things. I said sure... praying he would come back and see what a mess this was making for our children (17, 15, 13,8).

And one day I woke up and realised that living without him was easier than living with him. Sure I was lonely but I wasn't afraid of being alone. And the next time he called I handed the phone to the kids and went outside to read. And I was perfectly OK with it.

I knew it was time when we had yet another fight about his youngest and he said the same words he always did. I quit my job and moved out of state, away from my friends and family, to where he grew up. He had a job waiting and his family there. I had no one. Verbal abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse. He held my reliance on him over me, said some terribly hurtful words and thought I would take it be I had nowhere else to go. He was wrong. Words like he is giving me a free room and free board, the least I can do is help him raise his kids. I did everything for those kids and still managed to hold straight A's in school while working side jobs, supplementing the household budget with my financial aid and loans, etc. I was not living there for free.

I had made friends in nursing school during the past few months. I packed up my stuff, stayed at my friends hotel (her husband owned) for free for two weeks. I ate breakfast at the hotel, packed bread and fruit away for lunch and my friends made sure I had dinner every night. My income tax return came in (I made quite a bit of money working for the USAF the year before) and then got my own place. I was still making it in school and lived on student loans, financial aid, scholarships and credit cards. After all my bills were paid I had $200 a month for gas, groceries and entertainment. I survived that way for 1.5 years and went back to my home state and worked during school breaks to help pad my savings for when school restarted. I made it work. I graduated with honors and a 3.90 GPA from the nursing program. I am now a registered nurse with unlimited potential for growth and a career that will always be in demand. I am financially independent.

Three years later he is still trying to win me over again. He never thought he would lose me. I hear from him every few months begging for contact and another chance. I am blunt to him and do no mince words when I even bother to respond. The past few months I do not even read his emails. He thought I was nothing without him. The truth is that I have everything without him and he is nothing in my life now. It was hard, but it was worth it. No man will ever reduce me to that level of despair again.

I went to visit a friend out of state. EXH and I were already in counseling, it was rocky. I had been having panic attacks but had no clue why. It wasn't until I was states away and had a chance to be around old friends and unwind that I figured it out. You see my luggage had been lost so I didn't have a cell phone charger, we didn't talk for four days. We I finally talked to him I had a full blown panic attack. Apartment lay gas-lighting, mental and physical abuse really messes with your sanity and peace of mind. I learned that after I left him. I roughed it out for a month after my trip, my panic attacks got worse each day I was with him. So I left and haven't looked back. I still have PTSD from his abuse, but I am way better off.

* apparently

You will now when you are done...

After I left my ex husband, I had friend that kept saying I think I want a divorce blah, blah, blah. I told her, she wasn't serious, and she would wake up one day and know it was time.

I woke up one day after 16 years of marriage and knew that it was day to tell him I was done, I was done with a marriage going nowhere. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but come hell or high water I would make it. And I did and I am today in such a better place and with a wonderful man with a great SD!

great question, OP

with exdh, I just knew that he was never going to grow up. every disagreement to fight we had, he ran to mommy. getting her involved so they could gang up on me and tell me how wrong I was all the time, he refused to get a job, instead he would stay home playing the playstation his mommy bought him (at 28 years old), and getting high all the time while I worked and had his mom bitching at me that I needed to get a better job, meaning one that would make up for the fact that he was bringing in NOTHING. he was on the phone with her every damn hour, he was awful with bd, he just sucked all the way around. when it finally hit me that he was always going to have the mentality of a 14 year old, I was done.

with the exbf, he cheated on me and abused me. it used to break my heart, I was cry my eyes out for days when I found out he cheated on me again. but each time, even thought it took awhile for me to realize it, my love for him was chipped away a little. the last time he cheated on me, it didn't hurt or make me mad. I just shook my head in wonder and told him he was disgusting. realizing that he no longer had the power to break my heart and that I felt nothing but sick to my stomach over what he did made me see that I no longer loved him, and I left. I've never regretted it, either!

With my ex, there was no one defining moment, no drama- everything was the same as it always had been. One day he asked me if I was happy, and I said no. I didn't think about it, I just reacted. And I knew instantly that it was over. It was hard, because he was a good man and we had spent 11 years together. It felt like if I walked away, I had wasted all that time. I was embarrassed and ashamed of being a failure, especially since there was no real reason to point to, other than "I'm not happy."

But I left, that same day. The ex and I had the world's most cordial divorce, to the point where the mediator said we got along better than most married couples he knew. I have no doubt, had I not been honest with myself we could have stayed married forever. But when I allowed myself to think the truth, and to say the truth, I could no longer pretend that it was the right thing to do. We are both much better off now, and I have found the place that I always should have been. Life is way to short to be unhappy.