I need some.

Since we're trying to help L (SS21) get on his feet (he's lived with us for two months), we can't just kick him out for being a pain in the ass, something he is frequently.

I don't know how to deal with him. G (DH) tells me that I need to be an adult about this, that I need to be around him and just be pleasant and lead by example instead of doing things like staying in bed to avoid the little brat until he's gone. I don't know how to do this when L is being a sullen narcissistic dick. His bitchy little attitude affects me more than it does G - I'm around him more often than G is. L is nicer to his father than he is to me (not that he's downright rude and mean to me, just sullen). I've tried to explain to G how this is and how it affects me, but I don't think he gets it.

I'm tired of trying to get G to understand this. He knows his son's a little spoiled brat - he just expects me to rise above his brattiness. And intellectually I see that he's right, I'm thirty years old, I need to have the emotional maturity to not be so emotionally affected when L's being his typical charming self.

And so I turn to you guys.

I don't need to figure out how to deal with my DH - I've pretty much got that one down. We don't always see eye-to-eye on everything - that's fine, it's normal in a marriage, and frankly we have a fantastic relationship as far as everything else goes.

I need help in figuring out how to deal with The Boy King, my lovely stepson. How not to take his bitchy behavior personally. How to be an adult around him when he brings out in me the desire to just be a snarky little child. How to deal, as gracefully and kindly as possible, until he gets on his feet and gets the hell out of my house. How to be a good stepmom, how to lead by example, how to show him that his way of looking at life isn't the best way.

Basically, how to hang on to my sanity and be a decent person with this little cretin in my home.

ETA: I love my DH. He just called to apologize for being too hard on me. "I'm not unsympathetic to your situation, sweetie, I know this is really hard on you. I just don't want you to make it worse for yourself. You know what he's like - he's like this to everyone. You can't take it personally. It's going to take L time to change - he's an adult physically, but we're dealing with a teenage boy, really, and it's going to take time to help him grow up."